Buck My Life
by JasontheDemon
Summary: Yes, I am a brony... the rare kind that DOESN'T WANT TO BE STUCK IN EQUESTRIA! This story is one about me, my life, and my overwhelming desire to return back to where I belong. But the longer I stay, the more my resolve weakens.
1. Allow me to introduce myself

I suppose I should start by introducing myself. My name is Jason, I'm 22 years old, I have been told I have a knack for writing as well as art, my greatest passions are games and music... and I'm a brony who is currently stuck in Equestria. Think you have heard this all before? Well guess again 'cause I'm probably the only brony who isn't thrilled to be in a world of happy ponies... **FOREVER!** Think of that! Would you seriously be happy to be stuck in a world like Equestria for the rest of your life?! Ugh... I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me go back to how I wound up here.

It was just your average run of the mill night for me. I was back in the computer room just wandering around on Youtube. My parents were yelling at the top of their lungs... like they always did. I don't think I can remember a time when they weren't like this. They didn't fight constantly, but it was enough to make it seem normal to me. In fact I thought that was how all parents acted towards each other until I was like five and went to a friend's house to spend the night. Fighting was very common in my family, especially at Christmas and birthdays. Things were so bad that members of the family would be shunned completely and forced to stay away with restraining orders until they apologized. Everyone except me and my dad seemed to be off their rocker in one way or another. Some would steal, others did drugs until they had little to no brains left, and a few were just born dumb. I, however, seemed to be the special case. I was unmatched when it came to intelligence. I was the only one in my family to graduate, and I graduated as valedictorian at that. I only took drugs that were prescribed for me. Stealing, along with anything else illegal was beyond me. But most importantly, I tried to be generous, forgiving, and kind whenever I could. I would draw for others and never ask for something in return (as much as my dad told me to order them to pay for my work). Right now, drawing was just a hobby that helped me cope. I wasn't emotional, like at all. I was more like a statue than a person at this point. In middle school I was harassed by bullies daily. Yeah, I know this also sounds familiar, but have you ever heard of a case where you had nine bullies tormenting one person at once? That was me. I don't know why I was the primary school target. Maybe it had something to do with my size or physical appearance, or perhaps it was my intellect and way of talking. Whatever it was, it kept them coming back every day for three years straight. Halfway through the first year, my heart and mental state couldn't take much more abuse. We tried to get things to stop by telling teachers, parents, counselors, and even the principal multiple times, but the torment didn't stop and the ones we told just gave up, not caring. So in order to keep what sanity I had left and avoid suicide... I just cut off my ties to emotions altogether. It took about a month to complete, and by the time I was done I felt no sorrow, no anger, no pain, and no joy. I let the bullies do what they did and I would never respond. I just sat there, cold and hard as my heart grew to be. This came with it's own problems though. After being cut off from my feelings for so long, I couldn't turn them back on so to speak. Emotions became a distant memory and everything I feel to this day is numbed to the point where I would say I can't feel at all. It bugged me that I lost contact with sensations such as joy, fear, and even sadness. The only emotion I rarely felt was anger and even that was dull.

Shortly after starting my freshman year of High School, I began to feel sick. I went home every day feeling very ill. Soon my parents began to worry and I went to the doctors around town. They always said I was perfectly healthy, but we knew better than that. Eventually we went to a doctor who we had been seeing for many years. That's when he noticed my fingernails were tinted blue and rolling over at the tips. He said it was called 'clubbing' and it only occurred when there was a lack of oxygen in the blood stream. He recommended that we go to a special hospital in a city a few hundred miles away. When we got there, the doctors placed a device on my finger that gave a blood oxygen read out. It was remarkably low. So low that a normal person would have long since passed out. I found out that even though I didn't pass out, I was always out of breath. Walking, standing, any movement whatsoever, it didn't matter, I was still easily fatigued. The only thing that could help was to have me breath pure oxygen from a large canister-like tank. Weeks went by as they kept us there to perform tests. About a month we were released with no answers to what was wrong with me. We went back and forth to the hospital for a year, taking tests of every kind, monitoring every inch of me for some clue on my strange illness. My symptoms and medical statistics were shown to doctors from not just around the nation, but around the world! Still we found nothing that helped. Years went by and I learned to cope. I did my schooling from home with the help of an amazing teacher. Eventually I graduated and began to feel like I was on my way to achieving my life goal. I was (and still am) focused on being a video game designer. I wish to make games that not only give people the happiness that I felt in my youth, but I also want people from around the world to become closer and more friendly towards one another by playing side by side. Basically I want to cause world peace by making games. Yes, it's a silly idea, but it's my silly idea. Because of the fighting I have seen in my life, I want it to end. I'm tired of pointless hate and rage. In these recent years I think it has gotten even worse.

One thing that I have come across that gives me a bit of hope though is the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I first heard of it a year ago from one of my two friends. I wasn't paying attention at the time and only heard 'My Little Pony', so I asked what he said. He told me to forget about it like I was in danger. About two months went by and I couldn't get it out of my head. I kept asking myself 'what is so bad about it? Is there something wrong with the show? Is it morbid and violent?'. I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to go on Youtube to check it out. After watching the first two episodes I wasn't satisfied and believed that I just didn't get to the 'bad part' yet. Soon after I was halfway through season one, I started to relax and enjoy the innocent cartoon. It wasn't long before I had watched the entirety of what was out and realized that my friend didn't want me to stay away because it was bad... he wanted me to stay away because it was so good it was addicting! For a while I was ashamed of liking it, but after a while I just gave up and admitted I was a brony to everyone I knew... even my dad, who didn't react strongly one way or another. Eventually I made my own character and a fanfic to go with him, not to mention a crapload of artwork. I went by the user name 'JasontheDemon' for reasons that will be explained later. The only thing I didn't do was go to conventions (because my condition made it virtually impossible) and buy merchandise. I liked the show a lot, but the only things worth buying were fanmade and they sold for way more than I could afford. Oh yeah, did I mention that I'm also _really_ poor? Well that's basically my life. Horrible family? Check. Poor as hell? Check. Bullied to the point of breaking down? Make that a double check. Health issues? _BIG_ check! Ready to end it all and give up? HELL NO!

So this is where I am today. As my mom started breaking stuff to make her side of the argument more 'dramatic', I put on my favorite episode of MLP and turned up the volume. I always felt better when I watched it. Even though I hadn't felt true happiness since elementary school, it was enough to make me crack a smile every now and then. My favorite out of the mane six was Twilight. She was smart, sly, determined, and at the beginning she had no friends and hated social interaction. In a way, she was just like me. I even took a personality test to find out what kind of person I was. The results were outstandingly accurate. While I was watching Discord (my favorite all time character) make his dramatic entrance I heard two very loud shouts that were close to screams. One from my mom, the other from my dad.

"Sometimes I just wish I could live in a place as peaceful as Equestria.", I sighed, thinking that was a rather ironic thing to say considering what was on the screen.

~Your wish is granted! HA HA HA HA HA!~

I stared at the screen for a second with the closest thing to a shocked expression I could muster.

"Whoa... I don't remember Discord ever saying that."

Suddenly I heard a boom of thunder outside, but the weird thing was when I went to the window, there weren't any clouds. It was a completely clear night. Right when I thought things couldn't possibly get more bizarre, a bolt of red lightning shot past me and flew into the computer monitor on the other side of the room. It began to glow and shoot out black sparks before the image on the screen was replaced with a swirling black and dark purple vortex.

"Well... that's not normal.", I said in my usual listless way.

I began to inch my way along the wall and towards the door, however when I passed in front of the monitor, the vortex swirled faster and made a sucking force like it knew I was there.

"No! Bad computer! Stop being a spinning portal of doom right now!", I shouted, treating it the same way someone would treat a dog. Apparently it didn't like the way I was talking to it by the way it increased the suction.

I quickly grabbed hold of the door knob, but wasn't able to hold on for long considering I was incredibly weak and easy to tire.

I started to lose my grip and my thumb slipped off.

"No-no-no!"

Next my index finger and pinky could no longer cling to the sleek surface.

"No-no-no-no-no!" Finally I lost my grasp all together.

"NOOoo-ooOOOOOH CRAAAAAAAAAAP!", I yelled as I got pulled into the very thing that I viewed pony videos on just moments before.

I started to wake up who knows how long after I was sucked in. It always took me forever to get up. For a while I was wondering where my covers were as I reached for them. I noticed that something felt... different. Finally getting frustrated, I opened my eyes to figure out what was going on. The first thing I noticed was that I wasn't in my room. Second thing, I wasn't in the United States. Third thing? I wasn't even on planet Earth! I was laying on some grass by a forest. The thing that tipped me off that I wasn't on Earth was how different things looked. It was like a cross between 2-D and 3-D. Almost like one of the many cell shaded games I played. Upon further examination, I found out that the reason I felt weird was because... I was a pony! I deduced that meant I was in Equestria. By glancing around at my surroundings I noticed what looked like Canterlot in the distance. Yep, definitely Equestria. I cracked my average half smile while the rest of my face remained unchanged. 'I am finally having my first MLP dream... and I know I'm dreaming so that means this is a lucid dream! I probably won't want to disturb things too much though since I want to get as much creative inspiration that I can from this.', I thought to myself my usual rationalizing way. I always would put a lot of thought into every action I made. It was probably a reaction that was made stronger by my years of being ill and needing to think of creative ways to conserve energy while remaining efficient and productive. While pondering what I should begin my 'dream' with, I heard a little squeak come from beside me. I looked over and saw that it was Fluttershy. I guess I gave her a creepy smile because she flinched away from me. She didn't run though, infact she gathered enough courage to ask me a question.

"Um... Are you... okay mister? You were laying out here for a long time and, erm, you look a little, um... dizzy."

"Well if it isn't my second favorite from the mane six! I'm fine, thanks for asking. So where's Daemon? Wait, let me guess, he's waiting to rock out with me, right?" I asked feeling rather excited, which was very rare for me.

Fluttershy just looked at me like I escaped from the loony bin and responded, "I'm sorry but... who?"

"Huh. I guess it doesn't matter. I mean I created him so there isn't anything I can gain from talking to him in my dreams that I don't already know myself.", I explained aloud. Fluttershy just kept looking at me with an increased sense of fear.

"A-are you s-s-sure you are alright, mister? Did you hit your head or something?" She asked taking a step back.

"Oh yes I'm just fantastic now that I'm here with you. I never _was_ quite able to portray that shyness that you possess, but talking with you will probably help me in that department. By the way, please stop calling me mister. As cute as it is, I would rather be called Jason."

A few things I said caused the light yellow mare to blush. Even though there was much more I could learn from her, I wanted to meet the rest of the crew. I tried to stand up, but the one thing that people don't mention in fan fictions is the fact that the human body and pony body are vastly different and going from one to the other screws with your ability to coordinate movements. Fluttershy giggled a little as I flopped about. Since I was getting nowhere, I took a moment to focus my mind and test my new body out. I remained mostly still as I discovered how much effort each limb needed and what did what. To get a reference on how walking was performed I looked out in the distance to see what looked like Berry Punch. I made a mental note of which legs moved when and estimated the rate at which they moved. After getting all the information I needed I stood up and started walking almost flawlessly. 'God I love you brain!' I thought, pleased with the outstanding accomplishment of walking. Fluttershy followed behind me... nearly five feet behind me. I saw that I was close to Ponyville so I made my way there. I wished that Berry Punch was running when I saw her because at my current pace I felt like a turtle. When I finally made it into the streets, I walked up to a store window to check myself out. I had my usual green eyes, gunmetal rimmed glasses that hung a little too low on my face (I always had to push the damn things up), my favorite army green jacket, and on top of my head was my brown 'Shaggy' hair, and when I say Shaggy, I mean like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. That was all the normal stuff though. The things involving my pony appearance included two pointed ears that stuck straight up, a very light brown coat of fine short fur, and a pointed horn jetting up from my forehead. I was a unicorn. I wasn't too surprised since it made so much sense that I would be. I wasn't fast or strong. I didn't have great endurance or boundless energy. I was just very smart and creative. Unicorns were usually the ones that used their minds to accomplish things, just like me.

One thing I didn't expect to see was a cutie mark, and even if I did, I would have thought it would be something lame like a paintbrush or a pencil. However when I looked in the reflection I saw what looked a little like the symbol for yin and yang, but both sides were solid black. I didn't recall seeing such a symbol before, but since this was all a dream it didn't matter what it was... it wouldn't be there in the morning anyway. Thats when I heard Pinkies gasp right next to my ear. 'Oh great... I know what comes next.' I thought remembering her 'Welcome Wagon' with Cranky. It was a good thing I was dreaming or I'd be heading for the hills. After I gave a frustrated sigh and looked over at Pinkie with disdain, seeing her grinning ear to ear, she asked if she could welcome me to Ponyville.

Feeling cocky, I simply said, "Bring it on.".

Pinkie rolled out the decorated wagon and started to sing the song that I hated before grabbing on to me and saying, "Wait for it..."

I tensed up, not really sure why, and waited to get hit with cake batter. Like I predicted, confetti flew out of the oven and cake batter shot out of the confetti cannons. It hit us both dead on, but given how weak and lanky I was, I hit the ground from the force of it all. That's when I noticed that when I fell to the ground, it hurt a little! Staggering back up I was quickly licked clean by Pinkie Pie. I now knew I wasn't dreaming. My mind raced and I quickly summed up what it all meant. I was stuck in a land of pastel colored ponies, I was nowhere near home, and I couldn't get back to where I belonged. So, here we are... I'm a pony, all my hard work and turmoil might as well have been for nothing, and I have no way of achieving what I want most. In conclusion...

"Buck... my... life."


	2. Who can help?

**Who can help?**

Now that I fully realized the extent of my problem I had to figure out a solution. I had no personal experience dealing with portals to other worlds or dimensions or parallel universes or whatever was going on, so I needed to find someone who would know about this. Sure if I was dreaming this would have been no big deal, but since it was very clear that I wasn't by the pain of currently slamming my head against a tree to wake up, who could say how long I would be stuck here? Weeks? Months?! YEARS!? I didn't have that kind of time on my hands to wait around. I was already behind my schedule to find a good college to go to. Yes... I planned out my whole life in advance. I estimated how long it would take to complete each step of becoming a game designer and how much time I had to waste given the average human lifespan.

Basically I calculated that I had very little time to goof off if my plans were to succeed. It was kinda funny how at every turn, something stupid like this would come along to slap me in the face. First it was the school bullies, then my 'mystery illness', after that I couldn't come up with the funds to get enrolled in the college I wanted, and now this. It was stuff like that which made me disbelieve in the one they call 'God'... that and how logically it was impossible for a bearded man in the sky to create matter from nothing and grant wishes of those who worshiped him. I was a believer in proof and scientific fact. If it couldn't be proven without a doubt I wouldn't care much about it. I was an atheist that took observations of the world around me and I constructed my own theories and beliefs about life. Right now all I needed to believe though was that I was indeed in Equestria and had to find someone smart enough to figure out how to move through space and time.

"Space and time?", I thought aloud. "The Doctor! Surely he can use the TARDIS to help!"

And just like that I was off... walking at a snails pace because it was all I knew how to do at the moment. Why couldn't I have been in the body of a pegasus or something? I mean flying didn't look too hard and Fluttershy was still right behind me. I could have used her to figure out how to fly in no time. I sighed knowing that I was still in a nearly useless body just like before. Sure it was nice that I wasn't getting tired like I used to but if I couldn't move at top speed what was the point of being healthy? I decided to scan the area for any ponies in a rush. I saw a lot of pegasi flying around quickly, but that didn't help. It was a good thing I was a pretty patient person because it must have been at least twenty minutes until I spotted one. It was one I was pretty familiar with... Applejack. I quickly memorized her leg movements and tempo before she slowed down and stopped in front of me. Why was it that the mane six were just showing up like this?! I know they are the main characters of the show, but that doesn't mean they instantly show up the moment you enter Ponyville, right? On the other hand Pinkie and Fluttershy were still by me, for some odd reason, so maybe she was just here for them.

"Howdy Pinkie! Hey Fluttershy!" She said tipping her hat to them as she said their names. 'Knew it', I thought to myself in a sing-song voice.

Applejack continued to tell my two 'stalkers' about some contest that she just won against Rainbow Dash... whoop dee doo. Then she noticed me.

"Well hey there! Ya new ta Ponyville? Ah don't rightly believe we met. Name's..."

"Applejack. Yes, I know." I interrupted, confusing her greatly by knowing her name.

"Wait, ya know me? How in the name of Celestia..."

"I know far more than you would think. It's better you not know how. I don't intend on staying in this realm for long anyways." I said, interrupting her again.

By the look on her face, it seemed as if she didn't know what to make of me. I would have to make sure to be more discrete in the future. She then huddled up with Fluttershy and Pinkie. I couldn't hear what they were saying but it was definitely about me, that much was certain. I went over how I believed each one saw me. Pinkie was probably saying I was funny and she liked me, since she wasn't all that sane that couldn't help my case. Fluttershy would obviously try to be nice as possible but based on how we met and how I spoke when I believed I was dreaming... that made two strikes for me being insane. Last up Applejack... she lifted her head from the huddle to look at me. I could tell what she was thinking by the expression on her face. I wasn't going to just let them throw me into the mental ward so I ran as fast as I could. I wasn't used to running on all fours, so I fell on my face a few times. I was used to pain from being in hospitals and going through surgery so many times which made it easy to get back up and continue my escape. I hadn't run like this since getting sick and it felt nice to finally get moving beyond three miles per hour again. While I was making my way through a few alleys, I spotted him! The doctor was heading down one of the narrow roads and into what seemed to be the market. I couldn't lose him so I tackled him.

"AH! HELP! I'M BEING ROBBED!", he screamed. Strangely his voice didn't sound close to British.

"Shut up! You aren't being robbed! I need you to help. Where is the TARDIS?!" I asked in hopes that he would just snap to being the awesome British timelord I remembered.

"I have no idea what you're talking about! What's a... TARDIS?"

Oh please no. Tell me this is a joke. "ARE YOU THE DOCTOR?!" I yelled desperately.

"Doctor who?! I'm Time Turner!" I had to laugh at that. I mean, he actually said it! However, the joke lost its meaning rather quickly since this meant the guy in front of me was just a hourglass turning nobody who couldn't help. Soon after getting off him and watching him run off, Fluttershy flew overhead.

"He's over here!" She shouted.

Applejack came around and blocked off the path ahead of me. I looked behind myself to see exactly what I had expected... Pinkie was coming up the other way. I was surrounded.

"Hold on there partner... we're just tryin' ta help." Applejack said in the same manner that she would to a savage injured dog, slowly getting closer to me at the same rate as Pinkie. They were trapping me like I was some sort of animal! They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity, but this was just wrong! It was time to break out my best weapon... 'the death stare'. I called it this because it was a look that practically said, 'I'm going to murder you!'. It was something I developed too let others know I wasn't in the mood to be messed with. Whenever I found my time being wasted by the idiots at school a simple flash of this stare made them shut up and back off. At first it was just instinctive and only occured when I was at my breaking point of anger, but over the years I learned to harness it. First thing I had to do was get into a stable stance and make sure my face was tilted about forty-five degrees down, keeping my eyes closed. I furrowed my brow but only a little. If I put too much force into it I would end up looking silly. Next I had to put a minute bit of torque on my upper lip to make it twitch slightly in a beastial manner. Now came the good part. I opened my eyes and looked up. Applejack froze in place.

'And Bingo was his name-o'

I didn't have long to take advantage of her like this so I dashed close to the wall and leapt through the open area by her. It was almost too easy as I headed for the crowded marked at the end of the ally, but just as I cleared the passage Pinkie grabbed me. It took me completely by surprise because I remembered seeing her right behind me moments before.

"I got him! Wow, you are a lot of fun! We should hang out after this!"

"I'd rather be lobotomized... not like I am going to have much of a choice in the matter" I growled. I didn't hate Pinkie, but she had way too much energy for my tastes. My condition that plagued me came with a heart rate that was twice that of a normal person. I had to remain calm or suffer excruciating chest pain from my heart beating upwards to 240 beats per minute.

"Applejack, what is he talking about? What's lob... lobobo... hey what was that big word you said?" She asked with pleading eyes.

I sighed in aggravation. "Lobotomized... it comes from the root word lobotomy. Lobotomy is a neurological procedure which consists of cutting the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex of the brain. In other words it breaks your brain and you can't think anymore."

"Oh... my. Th-that sounds... scary." Fluttershy said, hiding partially behind Applejack.

"Ya got that right sugar cube. Who in Equestria would do such a nasty thing to somepony?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, doctors, psychologists, therapists. You know... the people you plan to send me to because you think I'm nuts?" I said, frightening Fluttershy even more. I needed to work on what I said around her.

"I don't think you're crazy! You sound a lot like Twilight now that I think about it..." Pinkie said while looking at me intensely, rubbing her chin in thought.

This got me to thinking. "Twilight... maybe she can fix this, or help at the very least."

"Help with what?", Fluttershy asked.

"You don't need to know." I said walking off.

The three followed me and asked me all kinds of questions as I roamed around. Ponyville was much MUCH larger than I had envisioned. The entire time I was being asked questions I felt like I needed to keep as much as I could a secret. I slipped up a few times and said more than I should have, but they still had no clue what it meant when I did know something oddly specific about them. I asked a few questions of my own on who they thought I was. As far as they could tell I was a unicorn that had some sort of mind reading power or something. I told them I couldn't read minds because it was impossible, but they said they knew a few ponies who could read minds. I decided to let the debate slide, not because I was wrong but because I finally found the library and I had better things to do than prove my case. I went up to the door and knocked, it felt weird though considering my new hooves. It was like I was pounding a block of wood against the door. I couldn't really feel it but I knew I was hitting the door. It was just something I would have to get used to for now. The door opened and right there in front of me stood the one I admired most out of the six... Twilight.

"Hello? Can I help you?" She asked with her head cocked to the side. I was speechless. I mean here she was, the one who resembled my personality most. There was so much I wanted to ask her and so much I wanted to say. For once I was at a loss for words. My brain just sort of shut off. That never happened to me. I was the one who was always thinking ahead, always observing, theorizing and planning. I was ALWAYS prepared for any question, but when she said 'can I help you' I had no idea anymore.

"Hello! Are you okay?!" She said waving her hoof in front of my face. I blinked a few times and after gathering my thoughts, I let myself in and started talking.

"Okay. My name is Jason. I am not from around here. I come from a place called Earth. I need to return there as soon as possible and you are the only one I can think of that might be able to help. I tried finding the Doctor, but when I did, he wasn't him. I mean, he _was_ him but not in the same sense as the him I wanted. In order to return from where I came from, I need you to make a portal that spans space and time. I'm not sure if this is in the same plane of existence as my world so we may need to find out exactly where my world resides. It may be in another dimension or universe. I'm betting on dimension though since this world appears to be somewhere in between the second and third dimension. Do you understand?" I asked, completing my long explanation.

She looked at me the same way Applejack did earlier. "Sorry, but you lost me at 'okay'."

I growled in frustration. "I... need you... to... get... me... hooooome." I said slowly like I was talking to someone from another country, moving my limbs around to emphasize and drew rough images in the air.

"Well there[s no need to be rude about it... So where do you live again?"

I rolled my eyes. "Earth."

"Where is that?" She asked with curiosity twinkling in her eyes.

"Hell if I know... I got here through some portal in my computer."

"Computer?" She asked yet again. I groaned. This was going to take a while.

* * *

It took three hours to explain everything to her. Earth, humans, technology... to her it was all alien concepts that went right over her head. I didn't go into too much detail though. I just covered the basics, like how the sun and moon work, weather, electricity, or other things they had that differed in function. I didn't dare tell her that she was from a cartoon. She said that the way everything worked in nature sounded like the Everfree Forest, to which I replied, 'gee... imagine that.'. She didn't grasp my sarcasm and said how amazing everything sounded. I told her nothing about myself other than how I was a human and my name was Jason, so she had no reason to pity me. Pity was something I hated. Just because I was crippled by my illness back on earth, people tried not to stare to keep from hurting my feelings, but if anything it made me feel invisible. Nobody would look my way on the rare occasion that I left the house and it made me mad that they would believe ignoring me was the best way to go. Not staring to be polite was one thing, but acting like the person doesn't exist is something else entirely. I hated it, so I didn't let her know about me to keep her attention. After we were done discussing things I went over what I wanted her to do again. I asked if she could help make a wormhole to another dimension, a space/time rift, a trans-dimensional gateway, anything to return me to where I came from.

"I'm sorry but I don't know anything about any of those things. I never even heard of them before.", she said.

If she didn't know that only left one option. The same option I was forced with so many times before. "Fine... I'll find my own way home. I'll do everything myself! Like I always do..."

Fluttershy and Applejack left shortly after I went to work finding books that might have had some of the information I needed. Pinkie left before I could explain everything to Twilight (she said something about being boring). Twilight just stared at me in a way I wasn't very familiar with. After placing another book on the table by the others that I had piled up I gave a quick glare, still angry that the smartest being here was going to be of no use in my quest.

"What?!" I snapped.

"I-I just wanted to know if you wanted any help..." She said softly, with a familiar crack in her voice that told me she was close to crying.

"No thanks. You are obviously not as intelligent as I thought. You couldn't possibly help me with such a low I.Q." I said, looking through the selection in one of the bookcases. What I said must have made her angry because the next thing I heard was 'YOU'RE A JERK', her quickly stomping up the stairs, and the slam a door. At least I would have some peace and quiet to read now.

* * *

Five hours had passed... FIVE HOURS and still nothing useful! I was very good at skimming text to find what I needed, so I easily went through at least twenty books. A lot of them were textbooks that contained material I already knew. I was low on morale and getting a little hungry. I wandered around looking for the kitchen. The search didn't take long. I went to the fridge and tried to open it, but I came across a problem that occurred when I was flipping through books. Having hooves meant no fingers. I couldn't grasp the handle! I started pounding on the door. To my surprise it opened!

"Why don't you just use magic?" a voice beside me asked.

I looked over and saw Twilight. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were puffy. It doesn't take a genius to know what she was doing.

"One; I was human until like ten hours ago, get off my back. Two; I am used to having hands, not these useless stumps. And Three; magic doesn't exist!"

She laughed. "How can you say that?! Of course it exists! You of all ponies should know that! You are a unicorn!"

I wasn't in the mood to explain myself, so I stayed silent and pulled an apple from the fridge. It seemed that there was nothing but vegetables, apples, and hay inside. I couldn't survive off that forever. I was a guy who enjoyed meat. Steak dripping in blood was by far the best. I was one of the few people I knew who could enjoy the flavor of blood. To me it was able to contain many different flavors. Sometimes it was sweet, other times it was a bit sour, and in a few cases it would be bitter. Normally it depended on what animal it came from. I took the apple carefully in my mouth back to the table. I bit down and it fell.

"Argh. I wish I could just have my hands back. This is ridiculous!" I said trying to hold the apple with both my hooves. Twilight laughed. Right as I was about to give up on it and just go hungry the apple started to float and made its way in front of my face.

"Here, I'll help you." She said smiling.

"I don't need help..." I said stubbornly.

"Well it sure looks like you do so be quiet and let me help you!"

"Fine, if it will make you happy and shut you up!", I said taking a bite. I was very hungry so it didn't take long to finish it. I gripped the core in my teeth and held on waiting for Twilight to let go. When she did I got up and went to throw it in the trash.

"You are going to need a place to sleep for the night. I only have one bed so..." Twilight said, trailing off. I knew what she was getting at and I would not have any part of it.

"I am going to decline your offer." I said going back towards the table, pushing the books off onto the floor.

"Then where are you going to sleep mister 'I don't need help'?" She asked smugly.

"Right here." I said moving the last book into position. It was a few stacks of books that were three high, four long, and two wide.

"You're going to sleep on that?! You are joking, right?" She said looking at me in disbelief.

"I've slept in worse conditions... I can sleep here." laying down on my makeshift bed of books.

"Okay... If you say so." Twilight replied. I closed my eyes and could hear her footsteps, or hoofsteps I guess. She went halfway up the stairs, paused for a few seconds, then went the rest of the way. Before I drifted off to sleep, I thought to myself, 'was she really worried about me?'.


	3. What a magical world

**What a magical world**

I was awoken by the sound of talking. The voices were familiar, but I was too out of it to remember where I heard them before.

"I told you to wake him up half an hour ago. It's not healthy to sleep that long!" The first voice said, female in tone.

"And I told you there's no way I'm going near him! I saw how upset he made you last night, I don't want to find out how he did it!" The second voice said. It was a male... a very young male.

"Don't be such a chicken, Spike!"

"I'm not being a chicken! If anypony around here is chicken it's you, Twilight!"

Suddenly it all came flooding back. 'Crap, that's right... I'm in a magical land of talking ponies. Someone kill me now.' I thought as I moved to get up.

"Uh... Twilight? Don't look now, but I think he's awake." Spike said, sounding scared.

I grunted and tried to scratch my head... only to give myself a noogie with these stupid hooves. I slowly opened my eyes, squinting at the bright light of the sun I was bathed in. I loathed being it direct sunlight. I was so used to being in the dark (or dim light at most) that I could barely see when it was sunny.

"Good morning to you too, Spike. I hope I didn't scare you by sleeping so soundly. I mean really it takes a real monster to sleep like that." I said sarcastically.

"Actually it's one in the afternoon and it sounded like you were crying in your sleep..." Twilight told me as if it was impossible to sleep until one.

"Let's just say I like to sleep... a lot. And that crying you heard sounded more like moans of pain, right?" I asked already knowing the answer. She nodded slowly, with that same look she gave me the day before. The one I never really received. From movies I had seen I believed it was possibly concern, but that was ridiculous. She hardly knew anything about me, so there was no reason for her to be concerned.

"That moaning is normal for me. Just think of it like talking in my sleep. I'm not in pain, I'm not dying, I'm just making subconscious noise." I explained heading back over to the bookcase.

"I sure hope you are planning on doing more than just reading books all day." Twilight said.

"What if I am? Is there something wrong with trying to go back home?" I retorted after tossing another book on the table.

"Um, no, but I know that you aren't going to get home if you just read. As wonderful as your story was, I know you aren't from another world! It's scientifically impossible!"

Hearing her say that was all I needed to snap. What she said last night was just pretend to her! She never believed me! She was just going along with it to try and make it fun for her! Time to show her proof. I leaned back and balanced on my butt (it was much harder now that I was a pony). I pushed the left side of my jacket open with my hoof, revealing a large pocket on the inside.

"I'm going to need your help with this." I admitted. "There is something inside this pocket. I want you to pull it out."

She did as I instructed and pulled out my mp3 player and collapsible headphones. I felt them earlier while they were jabbing into my side when I was laying down. I was surprised that they actually came with me, but then again so did my glasses and jacket.

"What is this thing?", Twilight asked, poking at the headphones with her hoof.

"Proof... now do exactly what I say.".

I instructed her on how to use it and where to go. I guided her to one of the many songs on it, and one of my personal favorites... Fluttershy Inc. I had Twilight turn the volume all the way up. The headphones were very good and could be used as speakers if need be. Twilight listened to the sound resonating from the device and it was blowing her mind. Not only was she seeing technology that was far more advanced to the stuff found here, but she was also hearing the voices of her friends.

"What kind of magic is this?!" She shouted when the song ended, totally freaked out.

"It's not magic, it's technology. From Earth..." I told her, giving a stare that said 'I told you so'.

"I-I... I... don't know what to say!" She said, shaking as the realization of everything sunk in.

"How about you start with 'I'm sorry I didn't believe you' and 'is there anything I can do to make it up to you?'.", I said, being a smartass like I had been so many times before.

Twilight sighed and repeated what I said. I just stayed silent and opened the book I had placed on the table earlier. She was very quiet from that moment on. It began to get on my nerves how she was just staring at me with those big eyes. I couldn't focus with my stomach growling anyways.

I shut the book and asked, "What's the best restaurant in town?"

* * *

Once we were at 'The Four Seasons', I went over the menu. It's safe to say, I was not pleased with the selection. Nearly everything contained flowers or hay. Twilight wouldn't shut up for two seconds since we left. The thought of other worlds with advanced life fascinated her to no end. For some reason she thought I was just as excited as her... the trouble was I didn't _DO_ excited. While she was rattling off the possibilities, I made the only choice I could see.

"I guess I'll have the apple pie." I told the waiter while rubbing my temples from the headache Twilights never ending stream of chatter was causing. 'Good god, does she even stop to breath?!' I wondered, watching her lips practically blur from her rapid talking. I was starting to think I shouldn't have told her the truth. I should have just lied and let her believe I was a homeless bookworm or something. Before the waiter returned with our food, I saw something I feared since getting here... Rarity. She was coming straight for us. I didn't like her very much. She was my least favorite out of the mane six. She was totally useless from what I could tell. The only time she saved herself was when she either ran away or whined. Her prissy diva attitude was something I couldn't stand. Being 'high class' was just a way of saying you were better than everyone else because you had more money as far as I was concerned. The only talent she seemed to have was making clothes, and nobody ever wore clothes here anyway so that was a pointless profession. Good thing I had a bit of practice biting my tongue at home.

"Twilight. Funny seeing you here. I thought you were going to be busy this week, what are you doing here?" She asked in that accent that I had always presumed was fake.

"Oh, what I was working on can wait. I just met Jason here, and get this! HE'S AN ALI-" I put my hoof over her mouth and gave Rarity a stern look.

"Classified information. It's on a need-to-know basis and you _don't_ need to know." I said, mimicking what I had seen from military shows.

Rarity looked around before leaning forward to whisper in my ear, "You're an alien, aren't you?"

"How did you know?" I asked in a whisper of my own.

"I didn't... you just told me." Rarity replied, a sly smile painted her face.

I just got fooled by the oldest trick in the book... staying here was starting to affect me. The way Rarity tricked me gave me a newfound respect for her. She was one of the few that had ever weaseled information out of me when I didn't want to reveal it. I guess she had a silver tongue to match the diamonds on her rear. Luckily she didn't make too much of it and didn't ask questions. It didn't take long before she said she had to go.

"Well it's been a pleasure. You two love birds play nice now!" She said as she started walking away.

"WE AREN'T IN LOVE!" Twilight shouted.

"Thank you..."

"For what?"

"For confirming that you have no interest in me either. I'm glad we aren't making this into a sappy love story." I said, looking for the waiter who was probably on his way with the food.

"Oh... no problem." Twilight said quietly.

Just like I predicted, the waiter set down my pie a few moments later. I had a little trouble with it, but I was able to eat about half without accepting Twilights help. She had ordered a sandwich like in the show. I thought of how much easier things would have been if I could make things levitate. Reading books would be far less difficult without the chance of getting a paper cut on your mouth, that's for sure. After making it back to the tree-house it started raining.

"Looks like we made it back just in time..." I said making my way to the desk.

Twilight looked at me confused and asked, "In time for what?"

"What do you mean 'in time for what'?! Are you kidding?! Look at it out there! It's raining cats and dogs!" I said, not believing how ignorant of the conditions she could be.

"Well it's not like the pegasus team was just going to hit us with the two-day rainstorm when we were getting home."

"Oh yeah... you control the weather here, don't you?" I said looking out at the rain clouds. "I forgot about that little detail. It seems pretty convenient to have someone look out for you like that."

Twilight walked up beside me. "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Saying what?" I asked as a boom of thunder crashed, startling her.

"S-someone..." she said, shaking in her horseshoes.

"That's how we say it where I come from. We don't say anypony because we aren't ponies." I explained.

Another boom of thunder hit coupled with a flash of lightning, causing Twilight to jump in fear.

"Scared of a little thunder?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"LIKE YOU AREN'T?!" she shouted back at my question.

"To be honest... there is very little that does frighten me. Once you know the in's and out's of something, it takes away most of the shock value. I know so much about so many things that I have no reason to fear them. But that's just a theory I have..."

Another boom of thunder and lightning caused Twilight to cling to me.

"Whoa! Get off me! I don't like being hugged!" I shouted to make her let go.

She released me suddenly and asked, "Why? Does hugging hurt humans?"

"No... I just... don't feel comfortable being hugged anymore.".

"You just don't feel comfortable? That's it? And I thought I was a baby for being afraid of lightning." she said, rolling her eyes. "You said 'anymore'... what happened to make you stop liking hugs?"

"I'd rather not talk about it... where's Spike?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Rarity's, he sorta has a crush on her."

"I know." I said forgetting that was something I shouldn't have known.

"That's another thing. Just how do you know so much about us?" Twilight asked.

'Damn it!' I thought trying to think of some excuse.

Before I could tell her the whole 'humans are partially psychic' lie I had come up with at a moments notice, she let out a sigh and said, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to..."

It was times like these that made me wish I did believe in god so I could thank him. As time went on Twilight went up to her room and I followed shortly after since I was burnt out on reading. Every time she heard thunder she jumped. I never took her for one who was scared of storms but it definitely seemed to bother her. She was currently writing on some parchment and getting aggravated by the looks of things. When she jumped, it caused her to mess up and start over because of the mistake. I let out a few chuckles every now and again, but stopped when I received a fierce glare. It's kinda weird having a cartoon character respond to you directly. Imagine having the T.V. talk back to you when you said something. It sounds freaky right? You have no idea how strange it really is. I wasn't complaining though. As weird as it was, it was cool too. The only thing that could have made this better was music. 'Wait that would solve both of our problems!' I thought, heading downstairs to get my tunes. After coming back up, I placed the music player in front of Twilight.

"This will help. Go to the menu like I showed you, then go to covers, then go to 'Follow you into the Dark'." I said moving back to my spot in the corner.

The song started playing, making the silence that had made itself cozy in the room vanish. I liked this song because it was beautiful on so many levels. The lyrics of songs spoke to me and filled my head with ideas and imagery. Most of what I made had been inspired by music. It was my muse. Whenever I was writing a story, drawing, or just daydreaming, I was listening to music. It turned out that the music also had an effect on Twilight. She stopped jumping at the sounds of thunder and started to smile a little. Feeling like I had done my good deed for the day, I closed my eyes and leaned back to enjoy the song as well. When it stopped I had to teach her how to loop the song. It wasn't my idea to loop it though, it was hers. She wanted to listen to it over and over again so I just had her loop it continuously. As I lost myself in the recesses of my mind, I heard her gasp.

My eyes snapped open and I asked, "what's wrong?!"

I was greeted to Twilight falling on me a moment later. "What was that for?!" We shouted simultaneously. While I had no idea what she was referring to, she told me.

"You levitated me into the air!"

"That's a bunch of bullcrap! I can't make things move like that! No such thing as magic, remember?!" I yelled in return.

"Whether you believe it or not, you used magic! You are a unicorn and you can use magic!"

"That's it, I've had enough of this magical nonsense." I said as I stormed my way downstairs.

"What are you doing?" She hollered after me.

"What I wanted to do so many times before... I'm going for a walk."

With that said I went out into the downpour and slammed the door behind me. I couldn't believe how she just blamed the way she fell on top of me, ON ME! I didn't use magic. I couldn't have! I was just daydreaming! On top of that I refused that it even existed. I am human down to my core and, the last time I checked, HUMANS CAN'T DO MAGIC! Well they can, but it's all fake. Things didn't happen just because you told them to. Everything had a rational explanation. Even me being stuck here could be explained in one way or another. Even if it did exist here didn't mean I was capable of doing it anyway. I couldn't even open a refrigerator door here! How could I possibly levitate her when I was incapable of working a simple handle?! The rain was coming down hard but I could still see fairly well. I headed to a bunch of trees to get out of the horrid weather. There was a few things that I really couldn't stand, and the cold was one of them. I should have known that the storm would bring a chill with it, but right now I was just drained and wanted to get back to where I belonged. Nothing else mattered at the moment... but god I hate the cold! If I had a choice of freezing to death or being tossed into a volcano, I'd choose the volcano every time. Right as I was imagining how nice it would be to fall into a great pool of lava at that moment, I heard Twilight calling my name. She was out looking for me. 'Please oh please don't let her find me' I prayed. Right now I didn't want a 'magic is real' lecture that I probably heard when I was six.

"There you are!" Twilight said running up to me.

'DOUBLE DAMN IT! See, this is why I don't believe in you!' I thought, glaring up at the sky.

"You shouldn't be out here, it's raining."

"N-n-no... Y-you d-d-don't say?" I said sarcastically through chattering teeth.

"You're cold, aren't you?" she asked, taking a step closer.

"N-nope! J-just like t-to s-s-stutter like th-this!" I said, thinking this was a perfect 'here's your sign' moment.

"Well why don't we go back to the library and get you warmed up?"

"No th-thanks... I J-just need to m-m-meditate." I said getting into the most comfortable position I could. Whenever I was cold, out of breath, or in pain, I would meditate and focus on only one thing that would negate whatever I didn't want. When I was in pain I would imagine being submersed in a pool of warm water and it would normally stop. When I was out of breath I would think of nothing but breathing in and out at a steady pace. When I was cold... I would picture my whole body engulfed in a raging fire.

Right as I started to feel warm Twilight shook me and shouted, "You used magic! You did it again!"

I opened my eyes and in front of me was a once damp tree, burning in a bright torrent of flames.

"No way! I... I couldn't have done that! It must be spontaneous combustion, or... or..."

Twilight placed her hoof on my shoulder and smiled. Right then and there, I knew it... I had used magic.


	4. Learning new skills

**Learning new skills**

After we had made it back and got out of the rain, Twilight made it very clear that she needed to teach me how to control and use magic. I wasn't too thrilled learning things that I didn't believe in, but being unable to control what you light on fire could be a problem when you live in a tree full of books and paper. I accepted her offer to teach me... for the time being. Finding a way back home would just have to wait until I could keep my new found power in check. Sure I hated to admit I was wrong, but saying magic didn't exist when a tree practically blew up in front of you would mean you're crazy. Man, I sure hope I'm not crazy... that would explain so much right now. I always heard people say I wasn't all there, but I believed that was because I thought on an entirely different level than them. My mind would often skip through many possibilities and scenarios in a few moment. Meaning if you said Happy Gilmore, I could link that to the Titanic in about two seconds. Don't believe me? Happy Gilmore was a movie starring Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler also starred in 50 First Dates. In 50 First Dates his character owned a boat. A boat is a smaller version of a ship. The most famous shipwreck in history was the sinking of the Titanic. See? Totally different thinking level. From what Twilight said, thinking is the key to magic. I don't know how yet but that will come in the morning. I just have to keep from thinking too hard until then... I am so screwed.

* * *

Morning finally came and I rose from my '_bed_', or pile of books if you want to get technical. For the first time in a long while I was nervous. I knew if thinking was the key then I was a ticking time bomb. Why I wasn't informed of how magic worked earlier is still a mystery. In hindsight it seems kinda important to mention if you can make thing fly around and ignite with a simple thought. Then again I wasn't very accepting of it... I guess I should apologize. When I got up, Twilight came from the kitchen with an apple. She smiled and sat it down in-front of me.

"What's this for?" I asked, looking over at her.

"It's an apple... it's for eating!" she said grinning.

"Wow... and here I thought I was the funny one. What I meant was why are you giving me an apple when I could have got it myself?" I clarified.

"It's just a nice thing to do... don't humans act nice to each other?" she asked jokingly.

I looked back at the apple grimly, trying to decide if I should tell her more about the human race. I didn't like humans very much at this point. We seemed to have lost every bit of morality and kindness over the years. It was rare to see someone even help an old woman with groceries now. We had been corrupt before but that was because we were striving for survival hundreds of years ago. Now we were just cruel because we were selfish and too busy to stop and be kind. It sickened me how careless we could be. We would sometimes slaughter one another just for the hell of it! If that's not evil, I don't know what is...

"HELLO! JASON! ANYPONY HOME?!" Twilight shouted, waving a hoof in front of my face to snap me out of my trance.

"I'm sorry... what?" I said, shaking my thought from my head.

"I asked if humans acted nice to each other and you just zoned out."

"Oh yeah... I... I'll tell you about it later."

After that Twilight gave an unsure stare, but walked away, leaving me with my apple. I didn't want to tell her about humans more than I had too. It would make me sound like a monster. The things I couldn't let her know were piling up each day. I couldn't let her know anything about me or the human race. It was already bad enough that she knew about our technology and planet. Wait... am I getting worried? That doesn't sound like me. I never cared before, why should I now? Is this what it feels like to care about someones safety? I can't be getting soft now. That's impossible. I lost touch with my heart over ten years ago. I must be getting sick or something... yeah all that rain made me catch a bug. All I need is something to focus on.

"HEY TWILIGHT!" I shouted.

"YES?" she shouted back.

"WHY DON'T WE... ARGH JUST COME DOWN HERE SO I DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT!"

A few minutes later she came downstairs. "You needed something?"

"I think now would be a good time to practice magic."

Twilight gasped and clapped her hooves together in a giddy fashion while smiling ear to ear.

"YES! FINALLY! This is going to be so much fun!" She said, gasping again. "OH MY GOSH! This means I have my first student!"

Seeing her get so hyper made me feel a little awkward. She was almost acting the same way she did when she got her cutie mark. It was hard to believe teaching me about magic meant so much to her.

I stopped her celebrating short and laid my hoof on the apple, saying, "Why don't you teach me some levitation first? I want to levitate this. Show me how..."

"Say please!" She said, smiling smugly.

"Screw that..."

"Close enough!" She shouted enthusiastically. How the hell was what I said _close_? Maybe 'screw that' meant something different here, or maybe she was just too excited to let what I had said get in her way of teaching me. Whatever the reason she started to tell me the basics of magic. Apparently it relies on a state of mind. You have to be calm but completely aware at the same time to access it. That's why I wasn't currently lifting up houses or shooting fireballs everywhere. Basically I had to be in a meditative state, easy enough. After she told me how I was supposed to get in tune with my magic she started to guide me in a levitation spell.

"Alright, first focus solely on that apple. Clear everything else from your mi-"

"Done..." I interrupted.

"Well that was fast. Okay, next picture the apple getting lighter. Even lighter than air, until it floats."

"That's it?!" I asked in hopes that it was more complex than just imagining something.

"Well yeah, pretty much. Magic only works if you understand something and can picture it changing. What you can do is based on knowledge and the ability to see things that aren't possible in other circumstances."

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! So you're saying if I just happen to imagine this apple flying around the room it... will..."

At that very moment the apple was floating in front of us like there was no gravity. It was just sort of drifting through the air. I decided to do a little experiment to see if I was really the one doing it. I lifted my hoof in front of my face and I used a difference of perspective to act like I was giving it a little push. Even though I didn't really touch it, the apple responded and seemed to be knocked away by an invisible force.

Totally flabbergasted I looked at Twilight and asked, "Are you seeing this?!"

She smiled at me and responded, "yes, it's a very good start!"

"Holy crap! I rule at this!" I said, moving the apple through the air with just my thoughts, making it zip around like a TIE fighter from Star Wars.

"Um, actually this is the most basic spell there is. Even infants have been known to perform it." She said, trying to put a downer on my awesome skills.

"Come on, you gotta admit, this is pretty cool." I said with my little half smile as I made the apple orbit around my head.

"Yeah but just don't strain yourself. If you put too much into it..."

Suddenly everything started to get foggy and the room felt like it was spinning. Twilights voice was warped and dull, like I had just been three inches from a gun going off. The next thing I know I was waking up with Twilight looking down at me. I had a monstrous headache and had a little trouble keeping my vision straight. What happened to me? Was I drugged or something? I felt fine and all of the sudden, bam. Lights out.

"I tried to warn you that if you use a spell too much it backlashes. It takes training to use magic for that long. Your mind isn't ready for that level of magic use."

"Give me a break... you mean to tell me that I need to build brain muscles?" I asked groggily.

"In short, yes. But look on the bright side, now you can open doors without my help!" she said, snickering.

I looked over at a pillow to my right and pictured it flying at her. It quickly smacked against her face.

"I won't be having any of that. I'm the only one who gets to make jokes at another's expense!" I said before flinching from a wave of pain in my head. I laughed a little bit to show I was alright. Hiding pain was pretty easy for me. Years of being a guinea pig for tests on my mystery disease made pain a daily part of life. I always thought that getting used to pain was a perk of my illness. Being able to say you were fine when a normal man would be screaming was a gift in my eyes.

To give Twilight something to do to think she was helping and keep her from asking questions like she normally did when things got quiet, I asked her to read a Daring Doo book while I recovered. I only used this as a ruse. My true intention was to ignore what she was reading and sort things out. The fact that I was able to use magic gave me new options. It might have been a metaphorical key home. Since it took only the visualization and understanding of a subject to create a spell, I had a chance to make a portal. I knew that wormholes were supposed breaks in space and time. It was theorized that if you could make a wormhole you could bypass the concept of space and jump to anywhere in the universe in a fraction of a second. the only problem was this was a theory at best and the odds of surviving the trip were said to be zero. Even if I could use it successfully without shredding to pieces, there was no way to tell if our little ball of mud we call Earth was in this universal plane. It could be in another dimension like I said before. Also, even if it did work and I did get back how would I know if I would be human upon arrival? I could just be stuck as a pony forever and that would mean I wouldn't be better off. If anything it would be better to be here and stuck in this body than on Earth and stuck in this body. All I'm doing is going in circles. One thing was clear... if I want to return home, I need to know how I got here like this so I can hopefully reverse it. Twilight was almost done reading. My headache had passed before she was even halfway through. After Twilight closed the book she seemed a little disappointed. She must have known that I wasn't listening to her read. I didn't really care if she was upset, but I often took it upon myself to make others feel better just for the sake of being a nice guy, even if I felt worse afterwards. It was a moral code of mine. I mean it wouldn't kill me to be kind just for the hell of it.

"Something wrong?"

Twilight sighed and answered, "I know you don't like me... you don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. Applejack would be more than happy to take you in. I'm also sure Fluttershy would have no problem..."

"What makes you think I don't like you?"

"Look I wasn't born yesterday. You don't like to get too close to me..."

"I don't like to get too close to anyone." I responded instantly.

"You won't tell me anything about yourself..."

"I have told you more than Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rarity combined..."

"You never listen to me..."

"Do those magic lessons ring any bells?"

"AND YOU WON'T LET ME HELP YOU!" She shouted, finishing her list of 'clues'.

"NOBODY EVER WANTED TO HELP!" I shouted back, I froze up instantly realizing what I had said. It was like I wasn't the one who said it, but it sounded like the truth. I could feel something in my chest. It was a weird sensation that trembled at my core. I knew this feeling... it was sadness. I hadn't felt this way in over ten years. Twilight was showing a face of shock. I put my hoof over my heart, the epicenter of the feeling. Twilights expression shifted to worry.

"Are you okay?" she asked taking a step closer.

"Uh... yeah... I'm fine." I said, overwhelmed by the glimpse of my long lost emotion.

Twilight took another step closer. She was now mere inches from me. Before I could protest, she embraced me in a hug. I stiffened at her touch.

"Twilight, let go... _**now**_." I said in a very serious tone.

She held on for about three more seconds before releasing me and backing up. "What am I supposed to do then?" she asked, looking at me sympathetically. I sat back down on the bed behind me.

"There's nothing you can do... there's nothing anyone can do."

Twilight was obviously feeling worse than before. I couldn't end things like this. Making things worse was not something I let happen. I either would succeed in my goal of helping or at least put things back to where they were before I screwed up. I sighed knowing only one thing could possibly cheer her up now.

"Twilight? Would you like to hear a story?" I asked. She looked at me and nodded.

"Alright... once upon a time there was a, um, _colt_. This little colt saw things as bright and colorful... But as time went on his world dulled and turned gray. The color was lost from his world because he started to see the truth of how things were. as he aged he started to see that everypony around him was hateful and selfish. Time after time he was hurt by those who he once cared for. His world was collapsing on him... but he believed he could change it all. He truly believed he could return the color to the world and fill the hearts of those around him with kindness. There were countless setbacks, but the colt never lost hope. Even when he was a full grown stallion he refused to give up the fight. One day he found himself far from home, lost in another land. To this day he is still fighting. Fighting to save his world... and fighting to return home. Can you guess who the stallion is?"

Tears began to form in Twilight's eyes and she gasped before answering, "Y-you?"

I gave her a tiny tap on the nose, "Bingo..."

She lunged to hug me yet again but I held her away with my hoof. She rubbed her head and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I keep forgetting. I had no idea you had it so rough..."

"You haven't even heard half of it..." I mumbled as I headed towards the stairs. After looking out a window I noticed that it had stopped raining and the sky was clear once again. It was about sunset so I thought I might as well head out to see it. I liked sunsets. They were the transition from day to night and they brought an air of tranquility. When I viewed the sunset I could almost feel the turn of the world. Everything that was just... perfect. It was a beautiful work of art that few humans cared for anymore. To pass up such a natural wonder was the norm, but I saw so much more than most people, even if I hardly left the comfort of my house.

"I didn't take you for the sorta guy who enjoyed sunsets."

I turned to see Twilight at my side. I simply shrugged at her remark. We sat there for a long while. Spike showed up soon after the sun went down. He saw us just sitting in silence, looking at the horizon.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked cluelessly.

"Well we were kissing before you showed up..." I responded.

"WHAT!?" he shouted, his voice piercing my eardrum.

"OW! What the crap man?! I was kidding! How could you fall for something so obviously false?!" I cried out, holding a hoof to my ear.

"You shouldn't joke around like that! You scared me half to death!" he yelled.

"Well I guess we're even since you made _ME_ half deaf!" I yelled right back.

While we were glaring at one another, Twilight started to laugh. We both watched as she continued to crack up at the whole situation. Her laughter spread to Spike. It wasn't long before I too found myself chuckling lightly at the scene. I couldn't deny it... I was actually having fun. Too bad I can't let myself get attached to this place.


	5. Creating spells and making friends

**Creating spells and making friends**

After Spike had returned from Rarity's (I found out that he was being her little errand boy so she could finish some outfits for a rich couple), things were pretty routine for a few days. I no longer required help with all the basic crap I was having trouble before. I stayed inside for the entire period, flipping through books with my magic. It's still odd to me that I can actually move things without touching them, but I wasn't complaining, at least I didn't have to use my mouth for mundane tasks. Who knows who had put their mouths on the doorknobs. I could have been swapping spit with anyone if I didn't have the ability to use magic. I didn't consider it magic really though, if anything it was just a manifestation of will by using the horn on my head as a means of projecting my thoughts into the 'real' world. Twilight had stopped asking so many questions and we stayed apart for most of the day. She had things that she needed to do in town and I would be left in the peace of the library. The one thing that she did lately that irritated me though was try to brush my hair. She just started brushing it one day while I had my nose in a book and when I asked what she was doing she said that my hair was a mess. I proceeded to tell her that she was the one messing it up and ruffled it to get it back to the way it was. Other than that I didn't really interact with her.

It was clear that Spike didn't like me too much, but I could understand where he was coming from. I wasn't the most friendly guy in the world and I tended to flip him crap about being a fire breathing mailbox. To me that was all he really was. His main job was to send and receive letters. Sounds like a mailbox to me, so that's what I called him. He got so mad when I shouted 'MAILBOX'. Spike told me that he was a dragon multiple times, I told him that dragons were flying scaled beasts that could send an entire town fleeing for their lives, he was, and I quote, 'a waddling lizard that belched paper'. I thought it was funny, but Twilight wasn't pleased. I had no problem with how they thought of me. I wouldn't change who I was just to make someone else like me. If I pretend to be I'm somebody I'm not then that defeats the purpose of finding friends. Friends should like you for who you are and you should like them because of who they are. If you act like another person, you will end up being surrounded by people you have nothing in common with. I took this belief very seriously. So seriously in fact that when I first made it into middle school I had the chance of '_being popular_' if I acted like a jerk to my friend. I refused to do so and I was alone because of it, but at least I wasn't anyone's puppet.

Whenever I was reading I would try to multitask by levitating a book as I scanned through hundreds of pages of text. I was building up the amount of magic I could use. It wasn't long before I could levitate three books at once for an hour straight. I also attempted a few experiments while I was taking breaks. First I tried to make a wormhole and make a portal home. It was successful... sort of. I tested it out by throwing a book at it, and the book just passed through like it was a hologram. I hadn't made a portal... I made a window. Since it was a failure I made my next experiment teleportation. I used the same method as I did with the wormhole but I placed the opening on my position and placed the end at the point I was staring at. The first couple of times made me dizzy and on the verge of passing out. When I finally got used to it, I was able to teleport all over the place.

With my third experiment came a great risk. I wanted to fix my eyesight. To do that I would have to mess with the shape of my eyes from inside my head. The cause for many vision problems stem from misshapen eyes. Your eyes are supposed to be round, but a lot of the time they come out elongated orbs, ovals. If you can fix the distortion of your eyes, you can essentially fix your vision. I stood in front of a mirror in Twilights bathroom and closed my eyes. I pictured the shape of them from within my skull. Once I believed I had an accurate representation of them, I began to imagine them slowly forming to a perfect round form. I started to feel them taking shape as I continued through the procedure. After I was finished I opened my eyes and tried to view myself in the mirror. I realized I couldn't see... with my glasses on. 'Damn, I really was blind' I thought to myself as I took the gunmetal frames away from my face.

Twilight came up behind me and asked, "what are you doing in here?".

"Fixing my vision..." I responded before tossing the glasses towards the trash.

Using her own magic, Twilight caught the glasses before they could make it in and said, "I thought you looked nice with them on. Without them you don't look like you..."

"So I've been told", I said remembering back when I tried using contacts. "How about we do this?"

I took control of them and popped out the lenses before putting them back on.

"Ugh, I feel like the Doctor now... I'm wearing glasses for the sole reason of looking clever!", I said, making Twilight laugh.

Life was going great until I ran out of the only books that could have possibly held an answer of returning back to where I belonged. I had gone through at least a hundred books that dealt with temporal anomalies, spacetime fluctuations, and cosmic rifts to other dimensions. A great deal were even labeled as 'fantasy novels'. I had COMPLETELY exhausted my resources and was no closer than when I started. It was surprising how many books Twilight had. I asked her how many she currently had and she said the one number that I should have seen coming... 666. It all started when I watched the newest version of 'The Omen'. The day after watching it someone in my family thought it would be a fun idea to go to Chuck E. Cheese. My ticket readout for that day... 666. ever since then the number has been appearing at least once a week, every week! It wasn't that I was obsessed with the number, personally I didn't look too far into stuff like that, but the number was almost following me. In December alone it showed up five times. I know you have no reason to doubt what I say is the truth but just to show I'm not making this crap up please view these: December 2nd, 2012 my total story views; December 11th, 2012 the amount of views on the first chapter of a story I thought sounded interesting; December 16th, 2012 the number of notes in my inbox on deviantART; December 27th, 2012 my score on the game 'Jumping Finn'; and finally December 30, 2012 my score on the game 'Robot Unicorn Attack'.

This is one of the reasons why I chose the title 'The Demon'. I was haunted by a number that symbolized evil. I also found that I was sometimes demon like in my state of mind and actions. I would stop at nothing to destroy what stood against me. I would take it upon myself to show no mercy towards those who ridiculed me in games. Whenever I got mad, I was a totally different person. I was fierce, unrelenting, and sometimes cruel. Another thing that bothered me was what my mind would sometimes wander to in public. I would catch myself thinking of ways someone could possibly kill another without getting caught. It wasn't that I wanted to think of such things, it was that I couldn't stop myself. Finding weak points was a way my brain functioned. It was all very disturbing... especially what horrors would occasionally flash through my mind. Images of death and blood were always flickering through my head when I was bored or unproductive. I saved myself from the madness that I could create by staying busy and on track with my goals. Now that I was officially at a dead end I had to find another way to stay occupied. I was afraid of what I would end up doing with magic and the threat of what I was capable of if left in such a state. As 'luck' would have it, Twilight thought that it would be a good thing if I went outside and got to know her friends better. I didn't have the choice of telling her that I knew her friends well enough as it was... that would just peak her curiosity again.

Once I got into the sunshine I was greeted by Pinkie Pie... out of all the ponies that it could have been, why her?!

"HI!" she chirped happily. "It feels like I haven't seen you in weeks!"

I sighed and said, "trust me it would be years if I had things my way."

"Oh don't be such a party pooper! I have some freshly baked cupcakes back at my place if you want to come!"

I rolled my eyes and sarcastically told her, "Gee, why wouldn't I want to eat enough sugar to put me in a coma..."

"I have no idea what that means but I'll take it as a yes!" She piped back.

I didn't want to go with her, but I didn't want to stay by myself either. At least she would keep me occupied... perhaps even too occupied. Her energy was overwhelming, but when you live a life on parties and enough sugar to give a fully grown elephant a heart attack, that much should be expected. While we walked Pinkie started asking questions but they weren't like Twilight's. They mostly consisted of 'how have you been' and 'what's your favorite [insert name of whatever here]'.

I started to enjoy the questions until she asked "Are you really an alien?".

That stopped me in my tracks and I brought up a question of my own, "Where did you hear that?"

"Oh Rarity has been telling everyone that an alien was staying with Twilight. Most ponies think she's just joking but I wanted to know for sure."

'Damn it, now I've got to worry about others knowing about me! What the hell did Rarity go and do something like that for?!' I thought.

"So are you?" Pinkie asked again.

"Yes, but you can't tell any other pony about this. I want you to promise that you won't tell a soul!"

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

I'll be damned... she really says it. That was interesting how she mimicked it down to the gestures performed in the show. Before we reached our destination, I was hit by something... _hard_. After getting up I saw the only one of the mane six that I hadn't had a chance to meet yet. The one and only, Rainbow Dash.

"Man I need to work on my aim." Rainbow Dash said while brushing herself off.

"What the heck were you aiming for?! Pinkie?! Who just tackles someone out of nowhere?!" I shouted.

"I do... got a problem with that?" she answered with a smug grin.

"Yeah, a little bit!"

"Well you should feel honored to even be in my presence. I'm-"

"The one and only, Rainbow Dash!" I said along with her at the end just to be a jerk. I had heard it all before. I knew she liked to gloat so I took advantage of that to screw with her head. It had minor consequences though...

"How did you know what I was going to say" she asked.

Luckily I was prepared with a quick retort. "Who hasn't heard of Rainbow Dash, the fastest flyer in Equestria?"

"Ah, so you're a fan." She said while running a hoof through her hair and posing heroically.

"Something like that..."

"Hey Dashie! We were just about to go get some fresh cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner! Do you wanna come?" Pinkie chimed in.

"Yeah, sounds good Pinkie Pie!"

Well this was just great. Can't I go anywhere without bringing a parade of ponies along?! I mean seriously, why does everybody want to hang around a gloomy bastard like me? It will forever remain a mystery.

* * *

After making it to Sugarcube Corner I was greeted warmly by the local residents... Mr. Cake, Mrs. Cake, and the two monsters they called children. The Cake twins were flying around, using magic, and generally making a mess of everything. It's a good thing I don't want children or else I'd be in for more destruction than I could handle. The twins seemed to be attracted to me the most. from the moment I walked in they followed me everywhere. That was one thing I never understood. Babies and children tended to like me for no reason. I didn't do anything to make them like me, most of the time I'd ignore them completely but they never went away. I didn't like kids very much as you can probably tell.

When Pinkie brought out the cupcakes I took a knife and scraped most of the frosting off. The two seated in front of me gave some weird stares that bordered on disgust.

"What did I do this time?" I asked, lowering the cupcake.

"You took the frosting off..." Pinkie said, looking back and forth between me and the pastry.

"Yeah, I don't like all the sugar. It's nauseating."

"Man you're boring! Just try it!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"I've got a better idea... why don't you try it?" I levitated the knife that was caked in frosting and flipped it so the sugary paste splattered over her face. Surprised by my actions, Rainbow just sat there for a second, stunned. Then she fell back in an explosive bout of laughter. I didn't see the humor of it. I just assaulted her with frosting. Didn't she care? I was almost positive that any human would have been furious, but not her... she was laughing. after her laughter ground to a halt we continued where we left off. I didn't say very much. I just let Pinkie and rainbow dash talk amongst each other while staying silent. The cupcake I had was good, but I only ate one. I was never one for overindulging in sweets, since I preferred anything sour. However, the chance of coming across a Warhead here was non-existent so I would have to make due. Once we were all finished, we had a little talk... about me.

"So who are you anyways? I haven't seen you around but you know pinkie pretty well, so what's up?" Rainbow dash asked me. Pinkie covered her mouth to keep herself quiet.

"It's okay Pinkie, she'll have to find out sooner or later." I said.

Pinkie immediately uncovered her mouth and nearly shouted, "HE'S AN ALIEN!"

"What?! Really?! But you look so..."

"Normal?" I suggested.

"Nerdy." Rainbow answered, looking at me like I was the oddest thing she had ever seen.

"I am not a nerd... I'm a geek and I take pride in that fact."

"Um, what's the difference?" She asked.

"Everything... geeks are skilled in many areas of intelligence, but maintain a level of style and epicness that makes them cool as well. Nerds are skilled in mainly electronics and take no pride in their appearance. They are excited by trivial things t swipe of ak wouldn't give a crap about. The nerd is recognized as being nowhere near cool but they believe they are. The geek will try to go for the A+ in every action they perform thus giving them the ability to appear cool. Have you ever seen someone cut a pencil in two with a simple swipe of a playing card?"

"N-no..." Rainbow responded, thinking of where I was going with this.

"Eh, me neither... what? You thought I did something like that? Get real!" I said smiling out of the corner of my mouth. The joke I told made Dash and Pinkie hit the floor and laugh hysterically.

Once she recovered, Rainbow Dash wiped a tear from her eye and said, "Are all aliens this funny?!"

"Just ones that are as good looking as me... so yeah." I replied getting another chuckle out of them both.

* * *

Once we left and went outside I had the gnawing feeling that we were being followed. I'm not naturally a paranoid person so I knew something must have been off. I stopped in the middle of the street and told Rainbow Dash and Pinkie to yield while shushing them. I began to scan around us looking for anyone who looked nervous or shied away at my glance. I took a moment to calm myself and focus. I looked to my left, my right, and then behind us... there was nothing there besides a few ponies walking to their own destinations. I knew that something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones. That's when I noticed a small shadow circling us. I looked up and saw what looked like a griffin. After finding it hovering above us it came rocketing down.

"**Get back!**" I yelled before jumping out of the way myself.

We had barely avoided being crushed by the large creature. When the dust cleared I noticed that the Griffin was exactly who I predicted it would be... Gilda.


	6. A day full of surprise

**A day full of surprise**

For crying out loud! Gilda?! _**REALLY**_?! Life is throwing griffins at me now?! Seriously, what the hell man? I couldn't have one pleasant day outside without running into something like this? _Noooo_... of course not! That would be too easy! Well time to assess the situation. Dash and Pinkie are with me, we get attacked by Gilda, who looks quite pissed by the way... okay, I think I know what's going on here...

"Hi dweebs! I missed you... but my aim will be better this time, I promise! I finally got out of all that '_anger managment_' bologna, and now I'm gonna kill you both for humiliating me!" Gilda said, rage thick in her words.

"Ha! I KNEW IT! Man, I would be such a great detective. But then again, it was sort of obvious that you were looking for revenge." I said, walking around her, inspecting her every detail, searching for weak points.

"Alright, who's the nerd? New friend of your's Dash? Or maybe the pink loser's?" Gilda asked, her rage settled by her confusion.

"For your information, he's a geek!" Pinkie shouted.

Gilda laughed before asking, "What's the difference?!"

I finished circling her and stopped in between her and the two she was targeting.

"Oh there's plenty of difference. For example right now a nerd would be screaming 'not in the face'... I'm just going to politely ask you this one time to keep your talons off them." I said threateningly.

Gilda then pressed her beak against my nose and aggressively asked, "And what if I don't?! What are you going to do about it?!"

"Well I don't like bullies... especially if they threaten my friends, so if you do continue with this senseless revenge quest, I'm just gonna have to stop you through force.", I said showing no strong feeling one way or the other. Gilda roared in response.

I waved a hoof in front of my face and replied, "Phew, someone has never heard of mouthwash!"

Angered by my comment, she took a swipe at me but I was already prepared to teleport. I reappeared on a nearby tree branch.

"Oh ouch, that _really hurt_... **THE AIR**!"

Just as I had planned, her rage took over and she passed off the opportunity to attack Pinkie or Rainbow Dash to come after me. I just needed to keep her targeting me and away from the others for this thing to be in the bag. She took another swipe at the tree branch I was laying on only to have me teleport again about twenty yards away. The branch snapped like a twig in the wake of her raw strength.

"Hey! What did that tree ever do to you?!" I shouted off in the distance.

"Argh! STAY STILL!" Gilda shouted back with now bloodshot eyes.

She flew at me with great speed, going low to the ground to hit me head on. I prepared myself and waited till just the right moment. When she was in place, I jumped. My calculations were correct and her velocity was so high that she went right under me before I could fall back to the ground. I felt like I was in one of those badass car jumping videos. I had never been in a fight before, but I had to admit I was having a blast. I continued to predict and dodge Gildas strikes, but it seemed as though she wasn't losing energy like I had planned. By the look of things, she could keep this going for hours. I didn't have the time or stamina for that. She was even begining to land a few scratches on me now that I was getting tired. I needed a new plan. I looked down one of the alleyways, it was littered with a few cans and came to a dead end. I took a second to think about how I could use that, then it hit me. I ran down the alley and focused on the can for a moment before putting an experimental spell into play. Gilda came racing after me and found me around the corner.

"There you are! What's the matter?! You done running?! Fine with me you dweeb!"

She flew straight at me and I didn't even move. I just stood there waiting. Right when her talons were at my throat, she thought she had me, but her birdlike fingers passed through me and she hit the wall she couldn't see... face first. I stopped the holographic projection that I beamed from the empty can and walked out of another nearby alley.

"Hey guy's it's over! You can come over here now!" I hollered to Pinkie and Dash.

Rainbow Dash flew over and looked down towards where Gilda had been knocked unconscious. "Whoa... How did you do that?!" She asked in astonishment.

"Simple. I used that can over there as a projector and set it to shoot out light in a rapidly flickering pattern like in a movie. Then I teleported over to the alley over there and used the mirror I saw earlier as a reference to set the image that was supposed to shoot out of the can. If Gilda was calm enough she would have noticed that my appearance was flipped and my cowlick was on the wrong side."

Pinkie gasped "Did you figure out how to do all that just now?!"

I raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly. I didn't see what the big deal was. Most of what I did was based off of common knowledge. Movie projectors, mirrors, and teleportation (which I had recently mastered). Anybody with half a brain could have did what I did but the reaction I got was alarmingly positive. They were stunned by a simple trick that was not unlike the tricks performed in the our world. After we were done talking about how '_amazing_' I was, Dash went over to the knocked out griffin. Her look was that of pure sympathy and regret.

"How long do you think she's going to be out?" She asked softly.

"Oh not too long. From what I saw by tangling with her, she should bounce right back and be on her feet in no time, but there is the possibility she hit that wall too hard. We should probably take her to the hospital... just as a precautionary measure."

* * *

Shorty after getting our little griffin friend admitted in a room, she began to stir from her sleep. I asked Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to stay outside until I had a chance to reason with her. I had seen a lot of anger like hers in my family members. I thought if anyone could make sense of her sudden outburst and attack, it would be me. I was just as skilled at analyzing people as I was at inanimate objects. Even though I could not relate to any feelings she may be having, I could probably figure out her mental status. She got a bit more restless and groaned. Yep, she hit her head a little too hard.

I walked up to her and told her, "Okay open your eyes and say 'huh?'."

Using my magic, I pried her eyelids open and she responded with a confused, "Huh?"

"Just checking for a concussion." I said, releasing her. "You look fine to me. I'm no doctor but I've got plenty of medical knowledge. Here drink this."

I gave her a glass of water which she finished in seconds. She groaned again and held her eagle like talons to her head. Knowing how to fix it I touched my horn to her head and imagined her brain. I lessened the swelling, decreased the sensitivity of the nerves around the area of impact and stabilized the blood flow to the veins within her skull.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"Yeah, much... how did you do that?"

"Well I already told you I know all kinds of medical info... treating a headache is no big deal."

"First you hurt me, now you're helping me?! What's your deal?!" She asked, the familiar anger returning in her voice.

"Alright, first off... you attacked us. Also, I didn't hurt you. You did that all on your own. And lastly, if you weren't so blind with rage, you wouldn't be here right now. Now... mind telling me what had you so upset?"

She got quiet but kept her furious attitude by folding her arms and refusing to look at me. This was always the hardest part. Getting someone who is upset to talk when they don't want to. To break the ice you had to be gentle but firm enough to make them crack. This was even harder if you had no knowledge of the person or what could have caused them to lash out in the first place. I couldn't say anything about the party that Pinkie threw for her because I presumed that this was what it was about and you can't be that direct. I took the next best route and decided to ask a question.

"You said something about being 'humiliated'? Want to talk about that?"

"Its all that pink ones fault..." She growled slightly.

And like that I was in. "Pink one? You mean Pinkie Pie? Weren't you going after Rainbow Dash too?" I asked, acting none the wiser.

"She used to be my friend but she betrayed me! Pinkie threw a party and Dash set up all kinds of pranks that I fell for! I thought it was that pink dorks fault but when I called her on it, Dash said it wasn't her! MY BEST FRIEND WAS THE ONE WHO PRANKED ME AND MADE ME LOOK LIKE A SPAZ IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! Because of what happened that day I was sent to 'anger management' classes!"

"Well it sounds like you overreacted to me. Pranks are supposed to be funny, they aren't meant to hurt you. Sometimes you just have to roll with it. If you always let your anger get the best of you it will always blow up in your face."

Gilda gave me a stare that told me she didn't believe a word of it. I sympathised with her because I felt her kind of anger before and it was a hard hole to get out of. You always see everyone else as your enemy even if they are trying to help. You lash out and refuse to give way to anything but what you see is right in your fueled rage... and often dig your own grave because of the thoughts you come up are clouded with hate. I was going to give her an example of what could happen.

Sighing, I gently said, "Let's perform a little science experiment..."

I levitated her glass and opened the nearby room refrigerator. After placing the glass inside and closing the door I willed the contents within to get colder by extracting the heat. Once I was done, I reclaimed the glass that was now covered with frost from the low temperature.

"Imagine this as the 'cool' and collected minds of the ponies in town. and imagine that stove over there as your 'heated' fury." I said while walking over to a small stove that was provided in the room like the refrigerator.

"Now separate you both do fine, but if you come in contact..."

I turned on the burner and intensified the heat until there was a bright blue flame like from a blowtorch. I drifted the glass over the fire and it shattered violently. Looking over to Gilda, I saw her pupils go to pinpricks.

"To put it simply, if you don't let go of your hostility towards Pinkie and Dash, you will destroy everything and everyone you care about."

Right at that moment I witnessed something that I did not expect from the hardcore being in front of me... tears. Gilda started sobbing on the spot. I wanted to leave at that point since such emotional outbursts made me feel... well you already know. However I was compelled to figure out what could have caused her to break down like she had.

"What's the matter this time..." I asked, practically groaning.

"I don't want to hurt Dash... I just wanna be her friend again! But how could she forgive me now?! I tried to beat her up for Celestia's sake! I was just so mad that she gave up all of our history together to be with them. I guess I always saw her being on my side... we were the best of friends and I wanted to hurt her and... everypony. You're right... I'm no good to anyone... I just hurt anything that comes close!"

That was all I could handle. "SHUT UP! My god, for someone who doesn't like parties you sure seem to be throwing one hell of a pity party for yourself! I never said you weren't any good, you're just misguided. It's in your nature to be fierce, I understand that! But instead of going after those who want to be your friends, go after the ones that try to hurt them. As for Rainbow Dash taking you back, I have a feeling she will do it in a heartbeat. She is the Element of Loyalty... she is loyal to her new friends as well as her old ones. I really do think she still cares about you and misses you as well."

I was done being the voice of reason and psychiatric advice for one day. Gilda has more issues than I could solve within a week, but at least I pointed her in the right direction. I headed to the exit and went to leave her with her thoughts, but I remembered that there was one more thing I needed to tell her.

"Oh, and before I forget... go back to anger management and please take it seriously this time. Trust me, it _will_ help you." I gently shut the door behind me. Rainbow Dash was in my face the moment the mechanism clicked.

"How is she? Can I see her now?" She asked softly, a sense worry clear in her words.

"Her physical condition is fine, but mentally she is having a rough time right now. From what went on in there, I would suggest waiting a few hours... she has some things that she needs to work out on her own. I will say though that her primary concern is about you and how you feel towards her, so take it easy when you do talk to her."

Rainbow laughed a little. "You sound like a real doctor!"

"Being in hospitals for most of your life will do that to you." I said chuckling a little myself.

"Wait, you've been in hospitals for most of your life? Why didn't you say anything?"

I literally face hoofed and responded, "Forget you heard that! I don't want anybody to know about me or my past... the results could be catastrophic."

"You're talking just like Rarity. How bad could it be?" She laughed.

I showed how serious I was by pushing her up against the wall with my hooves and giving her the death stare. "Catastrophic, disastrous, cataclysmic, fatal, or in other words... very, **VERY** bad! Do I make myself clear?"

Terrified out of her mind she barely managed to nod. I released her and left to return ho-, uh, I mean back to Twilights. Today was horrible in my mind. First I went out and ate a cupcake that I didn't want, then I had to go toe-to-toe with Gilda, THEN I needed to console said griffin, and finally I almost blew everything by telling Rainbow Dash something she had no business hearing. Now I was just tired and wanted to go to sleep, though it was going to be on a pile of books that were getting rather painful. I only had planned on being here a few days before I could figure out how to get back, but since I had hit a dead end in the research department it looked like my stay was going to be permanent. My twenty two years of life were wasted. All I had strived for was for naught. Depression had never gotten the best of me before but now I could feel it setting in. Life was pointless now. I had worked so hard for so long, trying to make my way up the ladder of society so I could create a bit of peace in our world. Now that I was in Equestria, none of my talents mattered, my goal was no longer a priority. Everything here was happy and peaceful, how can you improve that? Sure there was a few things like the changelings, a pissed off hydra, or an over brandishing magician. There was no place for a guy like me. I needed an impossible situation in order to be satisfied.

My walk turned to an exhausted trudge by the time I reached the front door. I kept asking myself 'Why should I even bother anymore? I'm just gonna wake up everyday as a pony and go through the same old crap like I did today... what's the point of coming back here?'. I didn't even want to use magic anymore, my mind was already in a haze so I just swallowed my pride and opened it by mouth. I just went to where my pile of books was and laid down. I noticed right away that my books had been moved when I hit the solid wood floor. I wasn't in the mood for any games so I picked myself up and turned around to get Twilight. However now that I was focused on more than the floor and had my eyes open I could see that the place was set up for a party... and every one of the mane six was there.

Pinkie then sprung up in front of me and yelled, "Surprise!"

I only have one question for you all... what did I do to deserve this torture?


	7. You can't handle the truth

**You can't handle the truth**

I know what you're saying to yourself right now, 'Jason, what's the problem with parties?! They're fun!'. Short answer: they are also pointless. I never liked going to them. Everyone always makes a fool of themselves and insists that you join them. Dancing was taboo for me. The very thought of moving around like you have insects crawling up your pant legs just seemed so stupid! Nothing would be gained... you would only waste time and energy on top of being judged on your '_performance_' by a bunch of random people. There was also a bit of talking at parties, but since I either hated or didn't know everyone, I would keep to myself. Almost none of these reasons applied to the current situation however. This party was unappealing because I was beat, drained of mental focus, and in dire need of rest. By the way I had walked in and fallen on the floor before even noticing I wasn't alone was proof of that. Pinkie and the others couldn't even tell I was about ten seconds from my legs giving out by the way they were smiling happily.

"How do you like the 'welcome-to-Ponyville-now-because-I-couldn't-throw-this-party-earlier, thanks-for-saving-me-and-Dashie' party!?" Pinkie shouted, now only inches from my face.

I yawned and rubbed my eye in an attempt to stave off my exhaustion before correcting her, "It's 'Dashie and I'..."

I went upstairs to the bathroom. I could feel them staring at me but I needed to be more alert, especially around Pinkie. I turned on the faucet and filled the sink with cold water before dunking my head in. Afterwards, I saw Rarity in the mirror coming up behind me.

"Is there something you need?" I asked, drying my hair with one of Twilight's towels. My knowledge of her presence must have caught her off guard because it took her a few moments to respond.

"Oh, um, yes. I, well actually we, were all wondering if you were going to take part in the festivities."

"As much as I don't want to, I will. You threw this celebration for me, so it's only right that I participate. I was just trying keeping myself awake...", a wave of fatigue washed over me and I yawned yet again. "I may still pass out at some point, but if it happens don't let it stop you from enjoying yourself."

Rarity placed a hoof on my chest, keeping me from returning downstairs. She smiled and said, "You are quite the gentlecolt... but your sacrifice won't be necessary. I made a spell a few years ago to keep me awake while I worked long nights on orders.".

Before I could protest, she touched her horn gently to mine and cast the spell. Suddenly I felt the effects. It was like I was having adrenaline pumped right into my veins. All grogginess faded and I started feeling full of unequaled energy. I wasn't overcome with it though. It just felt like I was awake and focused as if I had already slept.

Once the spell was finished, Rarity backed away and said, "There, you should be as right as rain now darling."

"Uh, you're welcome? Wait, no, that isn't right... thank you? Yeah, that's it! Thank you." I said, making Rarity giggle.

"Please hold your jokes until we get downstairs dear, we don't want the others to miss out on your, ahem... _humor_."

I did as she requested and went back down... but this time everyone was huddled together like they were hiding something. Didn't they understand that surprises weren't my thing yet? What could they possibly hit me with now that I had given up? As far as I could see nothing could make me feel any better about being permanently fixed to this realm...

"We have something for you!" Pinkie sang out.

"Yes, I totally couldn't tell by the way you are grouped together, blocking off a large portion of the room.", I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"Well, here's the thing.." Rainbow Dash started.

Fluttershy then picked up where she left off, "You've been here a while now...".

"Helping us even though you didn't need to...", Pinkie continued.

"Trusting us ta take ya in..." Applejack said looking over to Rarity who had taken her place among the group.

"All while remaining poised and collected, though you are probably having a hard time being away from home..."

'Actually if you really knew me you would know that being away from home is when I feel the best...' I thought while suppressing the urge to roll my eyes a second time at this cheesy display.

"So in conclusion..." Twilight stated, finally proclaiming the end to the lame group announcement. "... we got you this!"

They all backed away to reveal... a sofa. But not just any sofa. A dark red, velvet lined, therapeutic styled sofa. I was subconsciously drawn to it. It was like I was being controlled by some kid with a game controller. When I went up to it, I found that it was expertly crafted and looked almost as if it was tailor made for me. I ran my right wrist along it. The cushions were very plush and felt like they were stuffed with clouds. This was amazing... not even my parents were thoughtful enough to come up with good gifts for me. They would always get me random junk that they thought was cool but was nowhere near my style. For the mane six to get me something so... _perfect_ for me even though they hadn't even known me for two full weeks blew my mind. They even managed to get it in my favorite color... crimson.

All I could manage to say was, "When did you...? How did...?."

"Well it was a group effort. I took measurements while you were sleeping. Applejack made the frame and woodwork. Rarity made the fabric and cushions. Fluttershy got her animal friends to help move it in while you were gone. Oh, and Pinkie came back just in time to tell Rarity to change the color to a dark shade of red, like maroon or something... you told her that was your favorite right?" Twilight said, nudging me with her elbow as if to say 'I did a pretty good job, huh?'.

A feeling suddenly overcame me. It was sort of like sadness... but at the same time it was completely different. I didn't recall ever feeling like this. What was it? Right as I started to ponder what it could possibly be I felt a burning sensation over take my nose and eyes. A lump formed in my throat as if I had swallowed a billiard ball. My vision started to cloud and something hot dropped from my left eye. I caught the droplet on my hoof. It was some sort of clear liquid.

"I think he likes it girls! Look at that! He's so happy he's crying!" Rarity said gleefully.

"I am not crying... I have a fluid leak of some sort. I can't remember the last time I cried, and I know I've never cried from happiness... that would just be absurd. Heh, crying from being happy... thats not how tears work.", I said laughing at the thought of me actually crying or feeling happy enough to do so. What made it even more ridiculous was the reason why they thought I was 'crying tears of joy'. A simple sofa couldn't make me do that. Hell, $20,000 couldn't make me do that! I know because my mom thought it would be funny to try to trick me with a fake lotto ticket. Luckily I figured out it was fake by looking at the back where it stated that I needed to 'send it to santa in the north pole' before jumping around like an idiot saying that I was rich. I digress, the fact remained that it was impossible for me to be crying. However it was a wonderful gift and I was glad they went through the effort of making it. This was the first time I got something handmade (or hoofmade I suppose) that was so flawless. Normally if someone made me a gift it was normally like a card made out of printer paper or a hastily made shelf.

I cleared my throat to get rid of the odd feeling in it before calmly saying, "Thank you... this has been a pretty good surprise. I was starting to think this day was about to hit an all time low but this has actually made up for some of it. One thing is still bothering me though... what did you do to help Rainbow Dash?"

"Oh I just invited a friend..." Just then there was a knock at the door. "That's probably her now!" Dash said swooping over to open it for the mystery guest. Whoever thinks it's Gilda, raise your hand... okay now put your hand back down dummy, I can't see it anyways. If you did just raise your hand like an idiot, you were right. The only one that looked excited though was Rainbow Dash. Even Gilda seemed to be having doubts by the look in her eyes. She slowly walked inside with a slouch. I could tell she was the most nervous in the room. What Dash was thinking at the time, i have no idea. I told her that she needed to give Gilda time, but does anyone listen? Nope. Nobody ever listens to Jason... everything I say is just a suggestion. There's no reason to listen to my madness. It's not like all this exposure may cause her to snap and there DEFINITELY no way this party could give her flashbacks of what happened! THAT WOULD JUST BE SILLY! I guess I gotta make sure things run smoothly... by any means necessary.

"Gilda, consider this party for you... everyone be nice and no pranks. Is that clear?" I said in the most commanding voice I could.

"But we threw this here party fer you! Ya can't just give it up to somepony else!" Applejack argued.

"This is my party, correct? I make the rules? Then I say the party is for her now!" I said pointing at Gilda.

"Why ever would you want to give up being the pony of honor at your own party?!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Well for one I don't like being the center of attention. I love working in the background, unknown to those in the spotlight. That and parties have never mixed well with me. Anyways I believe you owe her for what happened last time. It is in her nature to be quick tempered... just like it's in my nature to like solitude. Have fun Gilda."

"And what are you going to do? Nothing?" Rainbow Dash asked as I flopped down on the my new 'bed'.

"No, I was thinking about listening to music... wait, where is it?" I said realising my mp3 player was missing from my inner jacket pocket.

"You left it here before you went out today!" Twilight said, making it levitate for all to see. "I have been trying a few new spells on it and now I can make it even louder so we can all enjoy it! I even found this thing labeled 'favorites'... I'm guessing those are your favorite songs." Twilight began to smile slyly thinking what she had discovered was clever... but it wasn't. It was something I didn't want her or anyone else to find. I only favorited one song. It was what I believed best represented my theme song. It was what kept me going and kept the fact that I was alone in my efforts in front of me. It was the only one I favorited because that made it so it would loop over and over without the need of changing the settings. Without any warning, before I could stop her, Twilight started it...

"'Welcome to my life' by Simple Plan... It sounds like a good title for a nice song." Twilight said, pressing the button. Simple Plan was one of those bands that cranked out lots of songs that made me feel like they creating music specifically for me. I just sat there, waiting for them to hear the inevitable. The lyrics started instantly... the happy and hopeful expressions of those around me shifted as they found out that the song wasn't a cheerful one. Fluttershy started crying, Rarity covered her mouth, stunned to tears. Pinkie Pie was so distraught that her hair deflated, while Applejack was wide eyed in disbelief of the harsh melody. Gilda and Dash were both shocked with their mouths hanging open slightly. And Twilight... she was just speechless. Her lip was quivering and she was making a few sounds like she was trying to say something but whatever it was got caught in her throat. She just stared at the screen, unable to speak. After the song was over the room was filled with an awkward yet tense silence. Everyone immediately looked at me, except Twilight... it looked like she was still taking it all in. I quickly pulled the mp3 player away from her and shut it off before it could replay. Twilight didn't move. It was like she turned to stone. I was mad, though not at her. I was mad at myself for showing her how to work the damn thing... if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be broken right now.

Finally coming to, Twilight was the first to speak. "Who are you?" she asked, her voice wavering from sadness but stern. I tried to ignore her question, hoping she would let it go like all the other times.

"Answer me!" She cried out, tears starting to flow from her enraged eyes. Looks like I didn't have a choice anymore... I would have to tell them about me sooner or later since I was no longer a temporary resident of Equestria.

"Alright... I'll tell you. You deserve to know." I said hesitantly, still unsure if it was right to let them know about my true self. I began to tell them from the beginning. how I was actually a happy child at one point. However, once I started to speak of my middle school years, things got darker and more personal. I told them everything about myself. My unstable family, lack of friends, the ones that used to be my friends but then turned around and tormented me in school, how I was living month by month, barely scraping by on rent and other necessities... and my illness. The fact that I talked about being stricken by a horrible unknown ailment when I seemed perfectly healthy baffled them. I explained that when I got here in my pony body, it didn't transfer with me. I was cured because my body wasn't the same. Fluttershy and Pinkie covered their ears around halfway through my life story. Some of what I said was too much for them. I didn't breathe a word of our race as a whole or how they were part of a children's show. I only spoke of myself and what I had been through. There were a few moments where someone went to give me a hug, but Twilight kept them at bay and told them not to, even though I saw she wanted to do so the most. The last thing I told them were my hobbies. Writing and art... it was the last thing I could think of. Thankfully Spike was asleep upstairs during all this. From the looks of things, he wouldn't have been able to handle it. Hell, everybody in the room looked pale by the time I finished, even Gilda.

Sighing, I asked, "any questions?". Rainbow Dash raised her hoof. "Yes?"

"Uh, so, is there anything else you haven't let us in on?" She inquired.

"After what I just told you, do you really want to find out?"

Rainbow Dash quickly lifted her hoof to her mouth and acted like she was zipping it shut.

"And here I was thinking I had problems... how could you bare to live like that?!" Gilda said, one of her eyes twitching.

I shrugged, "You get used to it. Really it could have been worse."

"How could it possibly have been worse?!" Rarity shouted, her inner drama queen showing.

"I could have been dead..." I replied darkly.

The room went back to being silent for a while. I just couldn't help thinking that this party was turning out like most of the ones I attended. The irony of going to a land where the parties were always happy just to have nothing change made me laugh.

"What's so funny?" Applejack asked as the others looked at me confused as well.

"Oh I just thought it's kind of funny that my 'shadow of party doom' followed me! Isn't that hilarious?! My parties insist on blowing!"

"Blowing what?" Pinkie asked. I couldn't help but laugh even harder at that. The innocence is what made it great. She had no idea what I was referring to and it was that much better because of it. Maybe being stuck here wouldn't be so bad. I just had to think of them like regular people instead of absurd imaginary talking cartoon horses. I was still at a loss for a goal to work towards but I could cross that bridge when I got to it. Right now was more important than later. As I relaxed and started to ease up on my determination to save our world from hate, I started to feel good. Like all the stress in my joints was loosening up.

The night went on and things began to get better. I even managed to talk to Fluttershy about pets. She wanted to know if I ever had any. I told her I had plenty over the years, but currently I only had a snake and three dogs. She was overjoyed that I was the owner of four pets, but I reminded her that they were no longer with me. We then talked it over and I decided it would be fine if I got a new pet here. I set up an appointment to see her the next day at three in the afternoon. While Fluttershy and I were talking I noticed that Gilda was starting to get along with Pinkie of all ponies. It seemed that the griffin was going to be part of the family before she knew it. I loved it when things like this happened. When enemies settled their differences and became friends despite what occurred between them, it was marvelous. The party didn't turn into such a complete disaster after all and when everyone went home, Twilight looked satisfied with what I explained... well mostly shocked but satisfied nonetheless. Before she went to bed she told me that I didn't have to worry anymore. I had no clue what she was getting at. Did I seem worried about something? And furthermore what was there to worry about? This must be what guys mean when they say, 'I don't understand girls'. I let her comment slide without question and decided to follow her lead by going to bed. I was still partially under the influence of Rarity's spell so I didn't fall asleep right away. My day hadn't been the best... but all things considered it was alright. I got a new place to sleep that won't destroy my spine, I reunited Gilda and Rainbow Dash, and I told everyone about myself and it didn't change the way they viewed me... at least not too much. Yep, decent day in my book. Once the spell finally dissipated I drifted into a deep sleep... and felt a small warmth resonate from within me as the embrace of the dream world took hold.


	8. Just hanging out

**Just hanging out**

For the first time in a while I was comfortably sleeping... until Twilight got on my case.

"Wake up! You can't spend all day sleeping! You have things to do!" she shouted.

Without opening my eyes, I rolled over to face away from her incessant nagging. Twilight had been a somewhat bossy around me when she wanted to be. I normally ignored her orders though since I wasn't her child, servant, or slave.

"What time is it?" I asked, half coherently.

"Two in the afternoon!" Twilight shouted as if I would care.

"Is the world coming to an end? Are we being invaded by monsters? Is the sun about to explode?" I asked, waiting for Twilights response so I could hit her with what I had planned.

"Um, no?"

"Okay, wake me when it's one of those emergencies. Until then... leave me alone." I grumbled, desperate to get back to sleep.

Twilight growled and replied, "You made a promise to Fluttershy that you would see her today! You can't just keep her waiting!"

I turned my head a little to make the next thing I said a bit easier to hear. "Yes I can. It's actually really easy. Watch." Then I acted like I was snoring.

What came next was fairly unprecedented... Twilight picked my up by my tail using her magic and threw me out the door. Can you say 'attitude problem'? Geez, I was only joking... okay not really, but she didn't have to toss me out like that. I didn't see what the big deal was anyway. I had waited on my friends countless times and it never hurt me. Then again, I was used to being alone so having someone not show up when they said they would wasn't a huge disappointment. I suppose Fluttershy would be pretty bummed if I didn't show. The previous day took more out of me than I thought possible. I slept for about fourteen hours and I was still sleepy. However it was still an improvement to what my illness did. I could sleep over twelve hours without any activity the previous day. My body was wracked with exhaustion even when I didn't do anything and the amount of recovery time for regular tasks was insanely high. Sleep is a way of your body recovering from the strain of everyday life and it gives your mind a way to lock in loosely stored information. I believe one of the reasons why my intelligence was so immense was because the amount of sleep I got. Information that I received was absorbed once I went to sleep and based on how much I slept, everything I had learned was stored in my mind. Sometimes I would have no idea how I knew what I did. I would spout out some random fact and be confused as to how I learned it in the first place. Even when I was in school I would answer a question and the teacher would ask 'how did you know that?' to which I would respond, 'I'm... not sure?'. It was safe to say I was a bit of a know-it-all.

While I was walking to Fluttershy's, I stopped suddenly upon realizing something important that I forgot... I had no idea where she lived. I could have been heading in the wrong direction for all I knew. I didn't want to find one of the others to ask, so I thought back to come up with some clues. Something weird happened when I was going through my memories though. I noticed that I could remember not just the basics... I could remember everything that was said! It was like a movie was playing in my mind and I could recall absolutely everything! I didn't have photographic memory, I barely had regular memory, but somehow I was able to pick out every little detail. From the number of birds that were flying overhead at a given point to the amount of times I called Spike 'Mailbox'. Not only that, but I was picking up on things that were happening at that moment as well. Everything seemed to be so simple and easy to understand. The scariest part though was that in my mind, I was thinking in Spanish. I DIDN'T KNOW SPANISH! While I was going through all of this craziness, I figured out where Fluttershy was located based on one clue... when I woke up and met her for the first time, I saw Angel in the distance, meaning that I was probably close to the vicinity of her home when I landed here. After picking up on that tidbit of information, what was happening suddenly stopped. Just like that I was back to normal. I wasn't thinking in another language, my memory was back to being average, and the feeling that everything was connected and the ability to see said connections vanished. I didn't feel like I was hit by a backlash or anything. I just felt like I forgot some things. I did remember everything about where to find Fluttershy though, so I passed off my 'brain blast' as just a random thing like a minor stroke or something from the amount of stress I was put through recently.

After making it to the relative area where I had first found myself I walked around a bit looking for a cottage. I was running late by the time I found it so I started to trot. Thats what you call it when an equine jogs right? Trot? Well anyways I found Fluttershy feeding some ducks. She didn't even notice me as I made my way up behind her. I patiently waited for her to finish. She looked very happy from feeding the water fouls. I didn't understand how you could enjoy feeding a bunch of ungrateful animals like that. Dogs, sure, they would be your best friend if you gave them a treat. But ducks just ate and went about their business with no show of gratitude. The only entertaining thing about watching them eat was when two or three of them were fighting over one piece of bread. Once Fluttershy was done and turned around.

I greeted her with a simple, "Hi", to which she screamed a little and jumped.

"Oh my goodness! You almost gave me a heart attack! Don't you know its rude to sneak up on ponies like that?!" she scolded.

"Sorry, I didn't try to scare you. I came to find a pet like we discussed."

Fluttershy blushed a little, meaning she probably forgot. "Oh yes! A pet! I remember now. Um, I think I have the perfect pet for you! Wait here!"

Fluttershy flew off and left me alone while she got this 'perfect pet' of hers. I already knew I wouldn't like it, since we had barely talked and she knew hardly anything about my likes or dislikes. It was a shame really but I had the feeling that I would be seeing more of her. I was bound to become more acquainted with the whole gang sooner or later now that I had nowhere else to go and I wasn't going to be researching books like I had been.

Before long, Fluttershy came back. It first seemed as though she had come empty handed and didn't bring a pet... if only that was the case.

"Jason, I would like to present Mr. Butterfly."

I looked at the butterfly floating by her and then gave a look like 'are you kidding me?'. She just smiled back at me.

"Fluttershy, I'm sorry but this little thing is way too... insignificant for me. I need a pet that I can actually interact with. If I tried interacting with this guy, he would wind up as a green smear on my hoof." I said, being as honest as I could without also acting like a total ass. Fluttershy looked like she was about to throw up and shooed the dainty insect away.

"Okay... well, um, what kind pet do you think would be a good fit?" she asked, voice trembling nervously.

I pondered that for a moment. What pet _would_ suit me?

"First off, it would have to be calm, so no dogs. It would also need to be, oh what's the word I'm looking for... manly. Please don't stick me with a sissy rabbit, or a bug, or anything overly colorful. Finally it would need to like sleeping. Perhaps a cat would work?"

Fluttershy frowned. "I'm sorry but I don't have any cats at this moment... they are one of the most adopted pets in Equestria. Dogs are also quick to leave."

"Crap... a cat would have been perfect. Unless it turned out like Opal... that kitty has one hell of a mean streak!"

Fluttershy giggled lightly and then gasped. "I think I just figured out a pet you would like! Why didn't I see it earlier?! You two are perfect for each other! And even better, I've been searching for somepony who wouldn't mind being his owner!"

I raised an eyebrow. If she was searching for someone to take him, that meant that whatever he was, he was unwanted for some reason. From the sound of things, this was going to be like Tank's adoption... in other words it was going to be bad. Fluttershy guided me away from the cottage and towards a tree out in the middle of nowhere. There was something hanging from one of the branches. It almost looked like a gigantic cocoon of some sort. it was mostly a dark grey color and had two little light brown appendages attached to the branch. From this distance I could tell what it was.

Fluttershy went up next to it and gently said, "Wakey wakey... I have somepony here to see you."

It unfurled its webbed wings and stretched them out, yawning as it awoke. The large pointed ears, the fangs that glistened in a pearly white, the flared nose, the way it was hanging upside down... it was clearly a bat. Once it was done yawning, it wrapped its wings around its body while keeping its head stuck out, watching us with beady black eyes. It looked a lot like the bat from the show, but a great deal older. It was nearly two and a half times as big as the puny thing I saw before, about the same size as Owlowiscious. I noticed that he didn't have a tail, meaning he was a fruit bat. I didn't see the problem yet. I inspected him and tilted my head this way and that, trying to find something wrong. He copied me by tilting his head in return. He was definitely interesting but I NEEDED to know what was wrong before saying 'yes'.

"Okay... what's his malfunction? I can't find anything wrong with him." I said turning to Fluttershy.

"Malfunction? What do you mean?"

"You said you were searching for someone who wouldn't mind being his owner. That means that others have turned him away for a reason. So what is it? Why doesn't anyone want him?" I asked, clarifying myself.

"What are you talking about? He's a bat. That's why nopony wants him. Don't you find him scary?"

"Pfft, no! He's a fruit bat! How is that scary?! Oh no, watch out, the _**scary**_ fruit bat will eat your apple pie!" I said, feigning fear before rolling my eyes.

"SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL TAKE HIM?!" Fluttershy shouted excitedly.

"Well if the only problem is that he's a fruit bat and he's willing to _hang_ with me, sure, why not?" I said looking over at the nocturnal mammal. He nodded vigorously, giving out a couple screeches in joy. Fluttershy flew up and did a backflip in happiness. 'At least it wasn't a hug' I thought as she danced about in midair. The bat flew to my head and perched itself right between my ears. It was a little difficult to walk straight with the extra weight pressing down on my skull. I asked him if he could move over to my back to make things easier for me. Without any hesitation he transitioned to between my shoulders. It was crazy how he could understand me. Animals in our world had to be trained and learn what words meant what. Here it seemed that they were able to fully comprehend every word that was said to them without all the tedious work of teaching them. I decided to take a shortcut to Twilight's by walking straight towards general direction of her house instead of taking the road. Along the way I found that I was in the middle of an apple tree orchard. I heard a little rumble come from my back.

"Hungry?" I asked my new companion. I heard a screech in response. I didn't speak bat but I didn't need to. I was famished myself so I decided that taking a few apples couldn't hurt. I looked around at the fruit hanging around us. Finding a couple nice ones, I turned around and kicked the tree as high up as I could. As the apples fell I caught them with my magic. I gave the bigger of the two to my little friend and took the other one for myself. we sat in the shade and ate until satisfied. I was getting tired of eating apples so I only managed to eat one. The bat only ate about half of his, but given the size comparison, he must have been starving. I picked myself up and the bat flew back to his previous spot. I had been thinking of a few names for him while we were eating. I liked most of them but I wanted him to like it as well. It wouldn't have been fair to give him a name he didn't like.

"Hey dude, how do you feel about the name, Demon? Screech once for yes, two times for no."

He replied with two screeches.

"Okay... how about Dracula?"

This time he waited a bit before replying with two screeches again. I was getting warmer.

"Does Vlad sound good?" I asked hopefully.

He paused for a while, considering the name. Then I heard one pleased sounding screech.

"Alright! Vlad it is! Sounds a little too Russian for my tastes but it's better than nothing." I said, glad to call him something other than just 'bat'. Now that I thought about it, he did resemble me a little. His coat of fur was a light brown and the hair that covered the top of his head was a much darker shade of brown. The coloration similarity was uncanny. Maybe that was why Fluttershy thought of him when she was talking to me. I was feeling a little bad for keeping him awake since he was supposed to be sleeping, but Twilight had changed her owls sleeping patterns to suit her lifestyle, so I should be able to do the same. Besides, we were going to be spending a lot of time together anyways so it's only natural that we get on the same wavelength. Right as I started to focus more on walking, I noticed that I forgot to keep track of where I was going. We had been in the depths of what I presumed to be Sweet Apple Acres for some time and I must have lost my sense of direction along the way. I was lost. Even though most would have started to panic in such a situation I remained calm. I had experience with the problems of losing your head in a time of need. Staying collected when it mattered most was a good trait to possess. I stopped to weigh my options and consider the possibilities of using magic. I could make a compass to discern which way was north, but not knowing if I was east, west, south or whatever, it wouldn't be of much help. I couldn't think of a way to get airborne so I could see over the treetops and levitating myself didn't seem too safe.

"If I had wings, I could just...". Thats when it occurred to me. I didn't have wings but someone here did.

"Hey Vlad, I have a little job for you. Can you fly up and tell me which direction the tree house is in?" I asked, looking over my shoulder. He then took to the skies without a second thought. After reaching a good height he hovered in place looking in different directions, searching for what I had asked. It didn't take long before he came back down and chittered as if he was trying to tell me directions.

Sighing, I said, "I don't speak bat! Just show me where it is and I'll follow you."

Vlad spared no time in heading off ahead of me. I ran after him and soon came across a 'tree house'. It wasn't the one I wanted though. Vlad took my description of 'tree house' as a children's tree house. He led me to the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse thinking that's what I wanted. Vlad looked back at me and smiled as though he was about to be rewarded for his help. I rolled my eyes and gave him a small rub on the head. It wasn't his fault he led me to the wrong place, I just gave him bad directions. He was actually turning out to be an excellent pet so far. I still didn't know how intelligent he really was, but he was better than any pet I had before. In any case, I could still use this to get what I really wanted... if there was anyone inside that is. Please don't let those three little monsters be inside...

"Cutie Mark Crusaders! YAY!"

Damn it. I need to stop jinxing myself...


	9. Inspiration

**Inspiration**

I sat in front of the door to the crusader's clubhouse, too afraid to go in. To be honest those three fillies scared the crap out of me. The destruction and mayhem they were able to cause just by going about their day was outrageous! I often thought that their cutie marks had something to do with demolition, it seemed to be the only thing they were good at. I could only imagine what they would do to me once I entered. Perhaps they would try to be vets and end up killing Vlad, or maybe attempt to be flying instructors and push me off a cliff. It was just one terrifying vision after another. Little did I know while I was lost in my daydream, they had decided to leave and came across me at their door. I was oblivious to everything when I was thinking about things. You could literally scream in my face and I wouldn't even blink. The only thing that could really snap me out of my daze was a nudge or push... which Sweetie Belle was brave enough to do. She just gave me a quick poke and just like that I was back in reality, staring at three wide-eyed fillies.

"Can we, uh... help you sir?" Scootaloo asked, just as puzzled as the others.

"Don't call me sir... I am not part of the military or police force. I came to find out which way Twilight's house is." I said, trying to remain calm and assertive in order to hide my fear of them.

"Oh, so yer the one my big sis was talkin' about." Applebloom said, examining me up and down.

"Wait, I remember Rarity talking about you too!" Sweetie Belle squeaked.

'Rarity really has told everyone about me', I thought before asking through clenched teeth, "Is that so? What did she say?"

Sweetie lifted her hoof then looked up as she thought back and answered, "Well... she said you were a gentlecolt with a lot of problems, but deep down you still have a heart of 23 carat gold. You are 'out of this world'... Oh! And your jacket looks like something Opal spat up!". Sweetie finished with a smile and a 'squee' (yes, the squee was a real sound that they made. I couldn't believe it either).

I looked down at my jacket and responded in a depressed tone, "But I like this jacket... it's not that bad is it?".

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom nodded while Scootaloo shook her head. The majority vote deemed that it was as ugly as Rarity said. At least it wasn't unanimous. Fashion sense aside, I mentioned that I was lost again. They told me that it was hard to find your way through if you weren't familiar with the land, so they offered to guide me. I turned around and went to leave but they noticed I had a passenger.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" Sweetie Belle shrieked, nearly rupturing my eardrums with her high pitched voice.

"IT LOOKS LIKE A BAT!" Applebloom yelled, hugging Sweetie tight in fear.

"Coooool!" Scootaloo said excitedly, looking at Vlad closely with an enthralled gaze.

The two frightened crusaders stayed back, trembling while they clung to each other. They were in such a vulnerable and horrified state that I felt bad for them.

"You know he doesn't drink blood, right?" I said, looking back at them with a raised eyebrow.

"H-he doesn't?" Applebloom asked, regaining a little confidence.

"Nope, he's a fruit bat... he wouldn't harm a fly." I confirmed, scratching beneath his chin.

"Okay... but he's still scary." Sweetie Belle said, looking somewhat embarrassed from her previous behavior.

I wasn't pleased with the fillies statement. When someone says that they are afraid of something it is normally for a logical reason. I didn't understand what made bats, snakes, and mice so fearsome to some people. In order to open their eyes to what was wrong with them fearing Vlad, I asked, "Why is he scary exactly? He won't hurt you, he isn't big or vicious... what is it that makes him scary if he is nice?"

"Um... I think it has to do with the wings." Sweetie started.

"And the way they only come out at night!" Applebloom continued.

"And it's so cool how they hang upside down and have fangs!" Scootaloo joined in. They all believed they had gotten the answer correct, but they had only revealed that they were only afraid of what they did not understand. I thought this was the case. I sighed and shook my head.

Kneeling down to their level I told them, "They need wings to get around. Without flight to aid them they would never be able to make it just by walking. The reason why they come out at night and sleep during the day is so they can avoid other animals that would want to hurt them. Bats are practically defenceless and can easily be taken down by predators. So while the strong creatures of the day sleep, bats and other nocturnal animals sneak out to eat. While they sleep they hang upside down to stay out of reach from anything that would want to eat them. Think of it this way... if you are in a cave and you don't hang from the ceiling, where else do you have? The ground... the one place where you are reachable by everything. As for their fangs, how else would they be able to eat? Their fangs pierce fruit and flesh alike in order to drain fluid from whatever they eat. Just like needles from the doctor, they only make holes big enough to get what they need. Now how do you feel about my pet?".

They sat there, mouths agape from all of what I explained. I didn't know if they were stunned by how much I had said or if they felt sorry for their earlier prejudice. Either way, it didn't matter. I gave them something to think about and told the truth of the commonly misunderstood animal. I left the clubhouse and the three followed shortly after. They apologized to Vlad multiple times, but he most likely heard only half of them. I noticed that he fell asleep along the way. When we finally made it out of Sweet Apple Acres, I saw Applejack working up a sweat from bucking trees. She looked in our direction and started to march up to the fillies.

"What have I told ya'll about botherin' ponies with yer adventures?! I'm sorry if they were any trouble Jason... they tend to attract it like flies to honey." Applejack said glaring down at them.

"Actually they helped me. See I got lost in your orchard and they led me here. Given how everything looks the same, I would have been lost for hours if I hadn't found them." I explained.

"Oh, well then I guess I owe you three an apology." She said sheepishly.

"Hey Applejack, a little advice before I head back to the library... if you buck higher up on the tree, you will shake it easier with less effort.". And with that, I was on my way, making sure to stay on the path this time. Applejack must have tested out my tip because I had barely made it fifty feet before she galloped up next to me.

"How'd you know that?" she asked.

"Know what?" I replied, keeping my eyes forward, unconcerned about her gratitude.

"The thing about buckin' the tree! How did ya know it was easier yer way? Ya look like ya haven't bucked in yer life but ya talk about it like yer a dang pro?!" She said exuberantly.

"Common knowledge... the tree is thinner and more flimsy the higher you go. If you hit it higher up it will bend and wobble with less force applied, thus making the job of shaking fruit loose easier."

Applejack stalled for a second, but continued walking right after. "It's crazy how much ya sound like Twilight. You could be her long lost brother if I didn't know any better."

"Perhaps... but don't you have some more work to do?" I said, hoping to get some peace away from anyone that way I could thoroughly enjoy the rest of my walk ho- I MEAN BACK TO TWILIGHT'S! Applejack left soon after I had mentioned her work. One thing is still bothering me though... why do I keep trying to say home? That place is not my home and it never will be. I can't accept her help forever and I will find my own place. I don't belong with Twilight. I don't belong period! Wherever I go I will be a stranger to this world. My place amongst ponies would never truly be comfortable. I would always see them as different from me, but I had no choice in the matter. I was stuck and I knew that I would have to cope. 'At least here they see me as one of them', I thought as I began to near the library. Before I could open the door I felt a tug on my jacket. Looking at the source, there was Applebloom... just Applebloom.

I checked to make sure she was alone and after I was satisfied that the coast was clear I asked, "Yes? Is there something you need?"

"Yeah, the girls and I were wonderin'... how did you get yer cutie mark? It looks weird and we were tryin' ta figure out what it was."

Now there was a good question. I looked back at the mark on my flank. Since I had got here, I didn't put any thought into it. To be completely honest I was totally stumped. I had no clue what it could mean. It almost looked like yin and yang but not quite because it was pure black on both sides. The zodiac symbol for Pisces maybe? No... that couldn't be it. I was a Sagittarius and I didn't have any talent that had anything to do with fish.

While I continued to contemplate what it could mean, Applebloom repeated her inquiry, "So how'd ya get it?".

"I... don't really know.", I said, wishing that she would drop the discussion. No such luck.

"What do ya mean 'I don't know'?! How could somepony not know what their special talent is?!"

I leaned in close to her and said, "I'm gonna tell you a secret. You must promise to never tell anyone else, okay?"

"Okay?" she said nervously.

"I'm not a pony and I came with my cutie mark. That's why I don't know what it means." I whispered. She looked back at me astonished. "Remember when Sweetie Belle mentioned Rarity telling her I was 'out of this world'? That wasn't just a play on words... now remember our deal, okay?". Applebloom nodded with her gaze set on me like I was, well, an alien. 'I could get used to these kinds of reactions.' I thought, before going inside and leaving the little filly in shock. I only told her to keep it a secret because it made her believe she was holding valuable information. I didn't care if anyone knew I wasn't from this world anymore. It wasn't like I was going back anyhow, so why hide it for the rest of my life? I would probably keep many things about my past life hidden though. If I was staying, I didn't want to have my previous problems to haunt me here as well.

I noticed that I wasn't welcomed by Twilight. Seeing Spike just organizing some books, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I crept up behind him slowly making sure not to let him know I was there. Once I had carefully made my way up to him, I shouted, "MAILBOX!". He screamed and shot out a burst of fire which hit the books and caused them to presumably be sent to Celestia. I laughed sadistically at the cruel joke I had played.

Spikes face turned red and he yelled, "DON'T DO THAT!"

"Do what? Call you 'Mailbox' or scare you?" I said, still chuckling.

"Both..." he grumbled back.

"Come on, lighten up. I was just messing with you. So, where's Twilight?" I asked, going over to lay down on the sofa. Vlad woke up and hopped off my back to hang from the ceiling.

Spike resumed tending to the books and said, "She went to visit the princess on 'important matters'. She told me to tell you that she would be back later in the evening."

I reclined a bit and thought of what I could do while she was gone. There weren't many things I could do. Equestria wasn't known to be an electronically advanced place so my options were limited.

Knowing that there was only one thing that I could really do to pass the time, I asked Spike, "can you get me some paint and an easel? I'm feel like doodling..."

Spike reluctantly got me what I had asked for along with a few other things. Now that I had the materials, I needed inspiration. I put on my headphones and turned on my mp3. I saw that it was low on power, but that wasn't going to be an issue. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on a mental image of an electron. I visualized the trillions of invisible atoms around me, floating about with the energy I needed. Electricity was made up of electrons so I just willed them into a concentrated stream straight into the musical device. I could hear static crackling in the air. I waited for a few moments before looking at the progress of its charging. I was surprised to see it was full, but it was nice to have a thirty second charge time so it didn't bother me. Flipping through the songs I came across one that felt right ('Crepuscularity' by AcousticBrony) and it instantly threw an image into my head. Most of my pictures were made because I happened to be listening to a song and they found their way into my brain. After they were there I had to bring them to life... it wasn't my call. Something just possessed me until I was done. In nearly every case the song would work very well with the completed picture. If the song was dark and depressing, odds are that the picture would turn out that way too. The song I was listening to this time was an instrumental, but it was full of hope and beauty. I levitated the paintbrush given to me and started the picture by making a forest green expanse of grass that lead up to mountains in the distance. The song made me think of calm and serene, so I used that as the time of day which to me was sunset. I felt that I wanted it to be just at edge of night so after I was done making the sun, I faded the sky out to be a dark purplish blue... just like the night sky. I added a few clouds and lightly speckled the corner of the sky with stars to show the coming darkness.

After I was done I still felt it was missing something. I needed a subject... then it came to me; 'Twilight at twilight'! I loved putting a play on words into my art. Some inside joke or something made it feel more personal. I went off of only memory as I painted her, trying to get the right shades of color and proportions within the right ballpark. The eyes, ears, mane, horn... it all had to be proportioned as accurately as possible and the lighting had to look realistic. What people didn't normally realize was that all my work was freehand. Everything I made was just from rough estimation and a buttload of patience. Many people told me that I should make an outline before, but it never worked for me. It was just a waste of time and effort because when I tried to sketch things out, the outcome would be worse than if I had just done things my way. The thing that scared me about my talent was that I used to suck years ago, but after several years of not attempting to draw, one day I just picked up a pencil and showed a bit of skill. I did nothing and got better, how cheap is that? It used to be that I couldn't even make a decent stick figure, then years later I can make things like a realistic tiger portrait in five hours! I guess I was just freaked out by things that defied all rational logic.

It took me around four hours to finish, but I was pleased with the results. I made a few mistakes here and there but it was as close to perfect as I could get. I looked over it all one last time before signing my name in the bottom left corner with red. I made the 'O' in my name a peace sign with two demon horns. It was just something that I felt like doing to make it clear it was mine. In the past I had done multiple things to keep people from stealing my work. I normally used a stamp that I made. It spelled out 'JTD'. That alone was not enough for some of my pictures though and I would hide that little demonic peace sign to secure it with a metaphorical 'double lock'. Whenever my friend or family member would complain about the chance of theft, I would just show them the hidden symbol and shut them up. If they persisted to whine I would show them the saved file of my picture without a few things. Only I would be able to post one of my pictures while they were still a work in progress. To be honest I was sick of all the precautions I needed to take. I mean why couldn't people just make something themselves if they wanted to show off so badly? Oh wait, that's right, they have no talent to do so! Theft was a big deal for me, especially when it was over trivial crap like art or games. I never stole anything in my life no matter how much I wanted to have it, but one of my friends and some of my family had a problem with it. The lack of willpower some people possessed was disgraceful.

Finally finished with my picture, I was satisfied enough to take a nap. Spike fell asleep while I was making it, so I had no need to worry about him torching it in a petty display of revenge. The tranquility that would wash over me when I was done drawing was always a nice touch. It led me into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

A/N: Go to FIMfiction to find the picture and music links that go with this. I believe my stories stand out far better with them.


	10. What is love

**What is love...**

"Wake up, Jason...", a voice said disturbing my slumber and bringing me out of the dream I was having.

"I don't wanna go to school today...", I mumbled, thinking that it was my mom years ago.

"You are still sleeping... aren't you?" the voice asked, becoming more clear to me. Suddenly I could smell smoke in the air. It clicked in my head that I was in grave danger. For all the years I had been on oxygen because of my illness, I knew that if I were to get near fire, I could blow up. Pure oxygen is explosive when exposed to a flame and with all the oxygen I needed to survive, one little fire could blow up half a block. So smoke meant 'run as fast as you can or you're dead' in my book. I was so startled that when I sprung off the sofa, I flew straight into a wall. I remembered seeing a dog do the same thing on an internet video clip... I immediately felt sorry for all the times I had laughed. Realizing someone was laughing at me, I turned around to see Spike and Twilight. The little dragon was enjoying the pain I had inflicted upon myself out of misguided fear.

"See, I told you he would wake up! A little smoke does the trick every time!" Spike said, still laughing. I didn't get mad, if anything I was actually glad that he had got some revenge. Pranks and practical jokes lost their fun if the target didn't put up a fight. Now that he had the taste for it, Spike was going to be a little more fun to mess with. Twilight was obviously upset with him and worried about me. For some reason she never could hide her thoughts. She always wore her heart on her sleeve. To show I was fine with what Spike did, I walked over and held my hoof in front of him.

"Good job... you got me." I said with a small semi-impressed smile. Spike pounded my hoof with his clenched fist. "Now what's up? You must have woke me up for a reason."

"Oh, yeah. I needed to tell you that while I was gone yesterday, I went to talk to Princess Celestia." Twilight said cringing a little as if I was going to flip out.

"I sorta figured that's why you had left... you may continue." I replied, moving my hoof around in a 'keep going' motion.

"Um, okay... I informed her about you a little and she told me to bring you to Canterlot in a week. She wishes to speak with you on a few matters..." Twilight explained, showing a bit of hesitation near the end.

"Sounds fine to me. I was going to spend the next couple of days trying to find a means of making money anyhow. And a week sounds long enough to spend time with Vlad before leaving him. I know that pets don't do well if you always lea-"

"Excuse me, but who's Vlad?" Twilight asked, cutting me off. At the mention of his name, some short screeches and squeaks came from directly above us. We all looked up to see him just hanging from the ceiling.

"A bat?! How did he get in here?! Come on now! Shoo! I can't let every stray animal just-"

"He's not a stray, he's my pet... and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him what to do." I interrupted.

Twilight looked at me dumbfounded and asked, "Out of all the pets you could have, WHY A BAT?!"

"Because they were fresh out of cat..." I answered, making it sound like I had just ordered something from a restaurant. Vlad swooped down and landed on my back, causing Twilight and Spike to jump a little out of surprise.

"He doesn't drink blood does he?" Spike asked warily. I opened my mouth to answer that question yet again but Twilight explained before I had a chance to speak.

"No, Spike. See how he has large ears and no tail? Vampire bats are known for having small ears and short tails. This guy is clearly a fruit bat."

I clapped my hooves together in light applause. "Very nice... 'A+' for you."

Twilight smiled at my comment. For once I was actually being sincere. I would usually just spout a bunch of sarcasm, but she actually impressed me this time. Perhaps she WAS the very same Twilight I had known. I had my doubts that she was the same intellectual unicorn I viewed in the cartoon, but this gave me a glimpse into what she was really like. Without realizing it, I had been staring at her for a while silently, most likely with a creepy smile.

Spike coughed to break the silence and asked Twilight, "Isn't there something else you were going to tell him?"

Noticing that he was right, she quickly said, "Oh! That's right! It's hearts and hooves day I am going to be out all day with Pokey Pierce! I'm sorry to leave you like this but I made plans with him the other day and..."

I held up my hoof, silencing her before saying, "It's not a problem, I was going to look for someone who could hire me anyways, remember?"

Twilight blushed and went on to say how sorry she was and I kept telling her the same thing. The way she went on about it started to give me a headache so I proceeded to cover her mouth and tell her that it was fine for the hundredth time, making my point as clear as possible to her overreaction to the situation. She started to apologize one last time, but I had enough of it and pushed her out the door while saying, "Yes, yes, I know its a tragedy, it really is terrible that you have to leave to go on a date, I'll see you later, GOODBYE!". I slammed the door behind her before she could turn around and let out a breath of relief.

"Tell me about it. Twilight is always like that around her friends. If there is any chance that she might be disappointing somepony, she will apologize until the sun goes down." Spike said, before taking a gem out of his stash and eating half of it.

"Well you can't change who someone is, no matter how badly you want to... its just something we will have to deal with. Think you can keep from burning this place down while I'm gone?" I asked, pushing open the door.

"I don't burn everything I touch you know... but yeah, you go and find a job. It's about time you stopped mooching off us."

"Oh come on, you know you love me... 'Mailbox'."

I quickly shut the door behind me in order to avoid getting hit with the jewel spike was munching on. Vlad was still perched on my back, but I didn't mind. At least with him with me I wouldn't be seen talking to myself like I often did out of habit. I never used to have conversations with myself but as year passed and my friends drifted further away, I began to sort of 'keep myself company' by pondering things and speaking about them aloud while looking at the problems from different perspectives. One thing I was worried about was how much I could go over even though I was 'technically' one person. I say technically because I had many different... lets call them personalities. I could say how great something was one moment then look at it from a completely different angle as though I was someone else and continue to say how I was wrong before because I had failed to note certain aspects of the object in question. It also made me very good at predicting others. If I knew what a person was like I could snap myself into their mode of thinking, aggression, tactical prowess, intelligence, emotion and all... just to know how they would fight in a game and counter their every move. Call of Duty, as much as I hated to admit it, was like chess to me. If I knew how the other team behaved and watched their movements long enough, I could cut them off at certain points and come out on top. However this skill probably wouldn't guarantee me a job.

I searched around for places that were hiring, only to find that nobody needed me. By the time I had found out that there was no job available for a unicorn, it was already well past lunch. Vlad jumped off my back as I sat down and leaned against the shop I had just left. I was exhausted from all the pointless searching and needed to relax so I pulled out my headphones and brought them up to my head. However, before I could even turn on my mp3, I heard a shout come from my right. There appeared to be a stallion with a ski mask running down the road. He was carrying some saddlebags in his mouth, looking back for any pursuers.

"Help! Thief! That pony stole my saddlebags! Somepony stop him!" Shouted a familiar looking pony.

Now the average human on earth would just ignore the thief and let the authorities handle everything... but so far I hadn't seen one police officer the entire time I had been in Equestria. Right when the stallion was about to pass me I stretched out my leg. He tripped and hit the ground, soon grinding to a halt. I got up and hurried over to his side as he struggled to get back up.

"Hey, was some nasty fall you took back there. Are you alright?" I asked, watching him rub the side of his head, cringing a little.

"I think so..." he replied.

"My mistake, let me fix that..." I growled darkly.

I turned around and gave him a quick buck with one of my legs, knocking him out instantly. The pony that had her bags stolen came trotting up a second later, breathless and wheezing. It turned out that the thief had stolen from Vinyl Scratch. I levitated her saddlebags and presented them to her.

"I believe these belong to you?"

"Oh my goodness, thank you so much! I don't know what I would have done without you! Octy would have been so mad if I had lost these again. How can I repay you?!" She said, grasping the bags with her own magic.

"It was no biggie... I couldn't just let him-" I was cut off by a groggy groan. "One moment..."

I slowly walked over to the stallion who I had knocked out earlier and gave one more quick buck to make sure he stayed down.

"Like I was saying, I couldn't just let him take what was not his. You cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is the law of equivalent exchange and I believe it applies to life directly. In order to get what you want, you _must_ work for it.", I said, looking down at the unconscious stallion lying on the ground in front of me.

"Whoa, that's some deep stuff. Are you a poet or something?", Vinyl asked, tilting her head a little.

I chuckled lightly and responded, "No right now I'm not much of anything. Just some dude looking for a place in this world.".

"Well in my opinion, you should work for the Canterlot guard! I mean the way you brought down that crook was like, BOOM, WHAM, POW!" To emphasize Vinyl swung her hooves around in punching motions... the last one hit me straight in the jaw.

"Oh my gosh! I'm _SOOO_ sorry! I always over do it!" She said, trying frantically to comfort me from her blow. "Well you look okay... but just to make sure, let me take you back to my place. If anything I can at least reward you there."

"It's fine, really. I don't need a reward, it was nothing."

"IT WAS NOT NOTHING! I won't take no for an answer! You are coming with me!" the DJ said, literally dragging me away.

* * *

When we arrived at her house, she bursted through the front door and hollered, "I'm back! And I brought somepony with me!"

"It had better not be another hobo you picked up off the streets...", a voice called back from another room.

"Don't worry, he's... wait, _are_ you a hobo?" Vinyl asked, still holding my jacket collar with her magic. I shook my head. "Oh... HE'S NOT!"

Vinyl released me and I scrambled to get up. For some odd reason I felt like I was being kidnapped. I knew that it wasn't her intention and she was only trying to be courteous, but Vinyl was a bit of a maniac. It didn't take long for Octavia to walk into the room with a stern look on her face.

"So, who is this?" She asked, tapping her hoof.

Vinyl Scratch opened her mouth to speak but then something dawned on her. "I, um, never asked his name..." She revealed, smiling nervously.

"It's Jason, pleasure to meet you Miss Octavia." I said formally, sticking out a hoof.

Octavia raised an eyebrow and smiled a little, pounding her hoof against my own. "Let me guess... you were minding your own business and she just dragged you here on a whim, right?"

"More or less..." I said nonchalantly.

"B-but, it's different this time! I swear! He saved my saddlebags from-" quickly covered her mouth.

"You nearly lost them again, didn't you?" Octavia deduced, looking Vinyl straight in the eyes with a steely gaze.

"Yeah but he saved them so what's the problem?! We can still go out tonight and everything worked out in the end!"

"Yes but now we need to reward him. If you were just a little more careful we wouldn't get into these situations!"

I slowly backed up towards the door while they continued to argue back and forth. I was going to attempt an escape but they caught me and shifted their argument over to who was driving me away, so I stayed in order to keep them from killing each other. It took over half an hour for them to reach a settlement. They decided that even though it was wrong to be careless with such an important item, it was impossible to stay alert all the time. With the disagreement settled, they turned to me with eerily pleasant smiles.

"So what can we do for your act of kindness?" Octavia asked, obviously forcing her grin by the way sweat was dripping down her brow.

"And awesomeness?! I'm telling you Octy, it was _soooo_ cool! He even said something cool when he knocked the guy out! It was like something out of an action story or something!"

"Like I said earlier, I don't need anything. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and-", at that moment my stomach made a rather large growl and I knew they must have heard it.

Octavia smiled gently and said, "I'll whip up something for us to eat."

* * *

It didn't take long for the musical grey earthpony to make a sandwich for each of us. The only problem with them was that they were DAISY sandwiches. I was very hesitant in trying it for obvious reasons, but not wanting to be rude, I picked it up and took a small bite. I was shocked to find that the daisies tasted like ham! Normally I disliked the flavor of ham, but since this was the first taste of anything resembling the flavor of meat from the time I arrived, I didn't care what it was.

As I continued to eat, Octavia started to speak. "So... today is Hearts and Hooves day and I was wondering, do you have somepony, I mean, are you seeing, um..."

Noticing Octavia's trouble getting her message out, Vinyl decided to blurt out with her mouth full of partially chewed sandwich, "Do you have plans with a special somepony or what?"

I nearly choked when she said that, but managed to recover with a drink of juice from a nearby glass.

"Vinyl!" Octavia exclaimed, her face red from embarrassment.

"What? I don't see the point of beating around the bush when you can just say it!" Vinyl retorted.

"Well some ponies think that it's rude to invade their personal matters like that! He almost choked!"

I cleared my throat of excess sandwich before explaining myself. "It's fine! Really, I was just caught off guard by her question. The answer would be no... I have nobody. I highly doubt that there is even anyone out there for a guy like me. I'm a jerk and I accept that fact..."

Octavia slammed her hoof on the table. "Trust me, you are _NOT_ by any means, 'a jerk'. Vinyl on the other hoof..."

"Come on, you know you love me!" Vinyl said, wrapping her arm around Octavia and bringing her uncomfortably close.

"Even so... there is a pony out there for everypony. Just give it time. Who knows? Maybe you have found that special somepony already and just don't know it yet."

"Yeah like with me and Octy here! She might say she hates my guts but she'd be lost without me, and she knows it!" Vinyl said, giggling mischievously.

I had been told this all before and I didn't buy it. My 'predicament' was a special one. I knew that if I even found someone, I wouldn't be able to feel any better. Burdening others with my problems was something I had no interest in... especially if it was a person I cared about. If I were to find someone, I wouldn't be able to help if emotions came into play. Feelings were odd and disturbed me. In my eyes I was never going to be good enough. That and the fact that when I got mad and snapped, I could devastate whoever was near with a verbal assault. I couldn't love because I was too emotionally and psychologically dangerous. There was one thing that I didn't have to worry about anymore... the illness that plagued me could no longer get in the way. It was one of the main problems I saw with the relationship issue. I couldn't go out and find anyone because I was tethered to an oxygen tank. Not only that, but I also would occasionally need help with daily activities. I felt that I couldn't put that on to anyone's shoulders and expect them to still love me as an equal. I felt as though fate had conspired against me to throw me into a perpetual loveless limbo, but like many other problems in my life, I shrugged it off and accepted it as what was meant to be.

I spent a few hours with Octavia and Vinyl before they needed to leave for a special Hearts and Hooves party. We had mostly talked about the philosophy of love, life, and other things I had went over before with my friends... Vinyl made a few gagging noises when we would talk about feeling love and what the signs were. I had made it perfectly clear that I had never felt the emotion, nor did I care about feeling it. It actually was pleasant talking to Octavia. For once my vocabulary didn't go over the head of the one I was talking to! I can't tell you how many times I had to 'dumb things down' for the listener. I had completely given up on talking to my mother because she never understood a single word that came from my mouth. Sometimes it was like talking to a dog... she heard me, but she didn't have a clue as to what I was going on about! It was nice to say something and have someone respond with a clever statement of their own for a change, but all good things must come to an end and we eventually went our separate ways. I told Vlad to go home while I went for a walk. I needed to think a few things over... like if I could manage to find love as a pony instead of a human.

I walked the empty roads of Ponyville for sometime under the pale moonlight. I had never before experienced a night so quiet and serene. The night sky was entrancing and I couldn't help but to stop on a small bridge and gaze at the moon and stars. I took a deep breath and exhaled, absorbing the peaceful air of tranquillity. There was a cricket chirping in some unknown direction but it just made the moment that much more perfect. The calm atmosphere was relaxing and something I adored. My solitude didn't last however as Twilight had found me sitting by myself. She didn't look happy at all... her head was low to the ground, her walk was slow, and her face was contorted into a pout. She sat next to me and let out a mournful sigh.

"So how was your date?" I asked, already knowing it didn't go well.

"Horrible. We had made arrangements to go to the Hearts and Hooves day dance together, but when we got there Pierce confessed that he never had any interest in me and he was really in love with Cloudchaser..." Twilight said, starting to break into tears. "I was nothing but a piece of bait to make her jealous! He left me as soon as he could to run of with that spikey headed pegasus!"

Tears were flowing steadily down Twilights face now. I had an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach from watching her. I knew I had to say something.

"He must have been out of his mind to hurt you like that. If he had the slightest bit of common sense he would have seen that he traded a diamond for a lump of coal. He'll regret his decision one day and try to get you back, but by then you will have moved on and found someone who truly deserves to be with a unicorn like you... now blow." I said lifting the sleeve of my jacket in front of her nose. She proceeded to exude a copious amount of snot into the green fabric, but I didn't care, it wasn't like my jacket was in good condition or anything. After removing my arm from her face, Twilight rubbed her wrists against her eyes and cleared them of any tears before smiling happily and then turning her attention to the very same moon I had been gazing at...

"Jason?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks..."

* * *

A/N: This chapter was originally posted on 'Valentine's Day'... so, yeah. That's why it's based on 'Hearts and Hooves Day' out of nowhere. If you have any questions or comments about anything, I'm always listening (but please dont ask me stuff as a guest without giving me some way to respond. That drives me nuts!) and thanks for your continued support.


	11. Parental issues

**Parental issues**

It was only five days after Hearts and Hooves day, but Twilight had insisted we leave for Canterlot early. She never explained why and I didn't care enough to push the subject. We took the 'Friendship Express' (I gagged upon hearing the name) at 8 O'clock sharp. I spent most of my time with my arms crossed, leaning against the window, looking out at the scenery as it passed by. I did the same things on all the long trips I had to take to the special hospital back on Earth, so this felt natural. Occasionally, I would shift my attention to Twilight seated across from me... she would just smile sweetly in response to my soulless stare.

The previous few days before we left were spent mainly on playing with Vlad and hanging around with Gilda. Vlad was proving to be quite promising in his abilities as a partner as well as a pet. We had made a special spell that I called 'Sonic Sync'. Basically I could blindfold myself or go into an area of pitch darkness and still see in a sense. Vlad would perch himself on my head and use echolocation, then I would connect my mind to the special area in his brain that interpreted the sound waves so I could see what he did. Not only did it make it possible to see in pure darkness, but it also gave me a way to see what was around corners or behind was a fun little spell but as of right now there was no purpose to using it.

As for Gilda, she had shown dramatic improvement in the short time she had gone back to anger management. There were a few moments where she had snapped but she quickly caught herself. However I noticed that when a few jerks were seeing how far they could push her, she was shaking while digging her talons into the dirt. She wasn't being herself and forcing a change that was taking a great toll on her. After stepping in and telling her taunters that if they didn't stop I would 'rip out their eyes and shove them so far down their throats that they would be able to see what they had for breakfast', I told Gilda that it was okay to stand up for herself as long as it was for a good reason. Other than that, she was a perfectly balanced citizen in my book. She even liked my dark sense of humor that would slip out from time to time. She told me that I was 'one wicked dude', but I didn't know if she meant that in a good way or not.

The train ride was a long one, but I suppose that I should have expected it would have been. The only reason why they didn't show how long the ride was in any of the episodes was probably because watching a bunch of ponies ride on a train for three to four hours would be boring, and heaven forbid we get bored! Still, I was not pleased with this mode of transportation. It felt so slow compared to cars. I would have made it easier on myself by meditating but my thoughts wandered too much when I did, so that was out of the question. I could have listened to music, but then Twilight would probably want to know what I was listening to or another pony could pass by and start asking questions and I didn't want to be bothered. So in the end I just sat there... looking out the window... bored as hell... for three hours straight. Twilight did the smart thing by bringing a book, but when she woke me up so we could leave I was too out of it to think of bringing one myself. I guess boredom will be the least of my worries by tomorrow though. With Princess Celestia being the one to judge me, I should have been terrified, but instead I felt like it was going to be okay. If she sends me to the moon, oh well, I had a nice run; if she decides that I am not a bad guy and lets me go without doing anything, great. Really, I just didn't care. Who knows, I might have just been too tired to care anymore. One thing was certain though, there was no going back now... it was now my fate to face her.

Once the train had stopped, Twilight closed her book and got up to leave the train. I followed her off into the train station. I was surprised at how little she had talked during the trip. I had a feeling that she had planned something but couldn't tell what it was. Her silence made it impossible for me to gather any information that she was hiding. The bright side was that she wasn't at all dangerous and whatever her plan was couldn't hurt me even if she tried... or so I thought. She searched the station platform for a few moments before finding what she was looking for.

"Mom! Dad! I missed you so much!" She shouted rushing to her parents.

Twilight's mother nuzzled her and replied, "We missed you too dear. You really should come to visit more often... now where is this mystery stallion you were going on about?".

Twilight pointed straight at me and they headed over. Was this what she got me up early for? To meet her parents?! Deep down I was upset with her, but also nervous for some odd reason. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about her parents made me recall the feeling of being a child. I felt so small and insignificant within their gaze, but kept a straight face.

"So you are the 'amazing discovery' our daughter spoke of in her letter... put 'er there!" Her father said holding up his hoof. I politely returned the gesture and shook his hoof.

"Pleasure to meet you sir. So exactly how much did she tell you about me?" I inquired, praying that Twilight hadn't told them too much.

"Well she only told us that you were a unicorn with a few problems. We didn't even get a name! Can you believe our little silly filly forgot to mention that?!" Her mother said, roughly rubbing Twilights head in a loving manner. "So would you mind telling us so we can speak to you properly?"

"Uh, my name is..."

Twilight quickly placed her hoof over my mouth and blurted, "DUSK! His name is Dusk! He hit his head and sometimes has a hard time remembering things!"

Her parents looked at each other suspiciously and Twilight just laughed nervously in a way that should have made it obvious she was hiding something, but to my surprise, they fell for it and introduced themselves. After the touching reunion and introductions were out of the way, Twilight said she was going to show me around while her parents went back to their Canterlot home. We walked the streets of Canterlot for a bit and Twilight showed me all the places she remembered from her childhood... which meant everything. I seriously didn't care where she went to get ice cream after acing a test or the park she would go to with Cadence, but I tagged along because I had nothing better to do.

The ponies that passed us were all snobs who had their noses so high in the air that I was surprised that they didn't have neck problems... or maybe they did and I couldn't tell, who can say? Their stuck up demeanor made me want to do something to make them at least a little humble. Seeing anyone believe that being wealthy mean that you were better than another was despicable. To me, wealth was the last thing you should be concerned about, and I was always poor so that should mean something. In my eyes you were only as rich as the experiences you had. Living a life of stinginess means nothing if you never do anything of importance... and by importance, I mean helping others, making friends, and having fun with those you care about, no matter how they rank in society.

While Twilight and I continued to walk through the moderately busy streets, we happened to bump into the biggest piece of crap in all of Equestria... Prince Blueblood. He strolled by us and mumbled something. I knew whatever he said was an insult so I decided to confront him.

"What was that?" I asked bitterly, looking back at him.

"Hmph, _I said_... 'I had no idea Celestia was letting commoner filth walk our streets freely'. Your vulgar kind have no right to be among us higher class. Even if that unicorn beside you was once one of nobility, she should go back to that filthy village where she now belongs!"

Oh, no he did not just talk crap about Twilight. That was the final straw, he was going to feel my wrath!

"Don't you _DARE_ speak ill of her! I am one thing, but she is the pony who saved not just yours, but everyones rear end on _multiple_ occasions! Not ONCE did she ever ask for thanks or recognition! You on the other hoof, are a sad, egotistical, jerk with no talent other than having a way of making others hate you! You got it all wrong you pompous piece of trash! It is _you_ who has no right to be among _us_! You are, and will forever remain, nothing but a stuck up, cowardly, self-centered loser with only your precious money to keep you company! Sure we may be poor, but we have more character in our left ear than you do in your whole body, you pathetic excuse for a stallion! Now you had better get out of here before I stain your pearly white coat with your own blood... because you know how violent us villagers can get." I snarled, giving him a 'death stare' to send him running. After he was long gone I turned around to see nearly every pony looking directly at me with shocked expressions, including Twilight. Feeling as though I had frightened them, I nudged Twilight to snap her out of her flabbergasted state and motioned for her to follow me. I had never openly acted like I had to Blueblood on earth, so I felt rather embarrassed by my outburst. The awkward situation forced me to flee with Twilight following closely behind. Once we were alone I sighed and looked back on everything I had said. I was too close to my dark side... the side of me that I was afraid of.

"Jason? What was that?" Twilight asked, the sound of worry in her voice.

"I'm sorry... I know I shouldn't have been so defensive and lashed out like that, but guys like him just... get to me. I hope we can just forget about it and move on. I never meant to get that close..."

"What are you talking about? That was the first time I saw somepony stand up to Blueblood like that! It was amazing!" Twilight said before pausing for a moment. "Hey, what did you mean you 'never meant to get that close'?"

I faced away from her as I explained, "I have a problem with getting angry... and not like normal peo- I mean ponies. Normally I can bottle up my rage and keep it locked up, but there are a few cases where I suddenly snap, releasing all of it at once. It's a side of me that has even brought my best friend to tears at one point. I believe it stems from my self discipline mixed with my family's tendency of having a short fuse. I struggle to keep my anger from hurting others, but when I can't hold on anymore, I can become more terrifying than anything you have ever witnessed... I pray that you never see me like that. Even though it can only last a brief moment... it is something I would not wish on my worst enemy."

As Twilight listened, her concerned expression returned. "Why didn't you tell anypony? I thought we were past hiding things from each other..." She said, resting her hoof on my shoulder.

"Because there are some things that are better left unsaid. If I were to reveal everything... lets just say it's better you not know what I do. I envy you Twilight, really I do. You have an innocence that makes you pure and kind. You are surrounded by many friends that truly care for you and come from a loving family. I come from a much darker place and it would be cruel of me to expose you to it. If I don't tell you something, it is for your own good."

"Look, I know you had it rough but you are with me now, and the first thing you have to do is let us help you!" Twilight shouted.

"Us?"

"Yes! Applejack, Rarity... Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy... Rainbow Dash and even Spike! We are all your friends! We support each other when we are having a hard time and keep each other safe! You aren't alone and you never will be... now let us help."

"You want to help?" I asked rigidly. Twilight nodded in response.

"Then stop trying to help... I hate it when you help me."

"Why?"

"Don't you remember what I said when I first started to learn magic? Nobody helped me before and it bothers me to see you go out of your way for me."

"Well then why don't I just help you in exchange for what you do for me?" Twilight asked with a kind smile.

"What are you talking about? I never do anything for anyone." I said, wondering how she was going to pay me back for doing nothing but lounging around.

"That's not necessarily true... do you recall the night of Hearts and Hooves day? I was a wreck but you cheered me up."

"Alert the media, I said a few words to keep a girl from crying!" I said sarcastically, putting my wrist to my forehead and batting my eyes like Rarity did in her drama queen act.

"Okay well what about when you painted that picture for me?"

"Picture? What pic-? Ohhh... I see. You thought that doodle was a gift because you were in it... sorry to burst your bubble but I was just bored and I thought 'Twilight at twilight' would be a cool, if a bit unoriginal, idea so I went for it. If you want it though you can have it, I don't care about it that much. I have made better stuff before and that was only a spur of the moment thing." I said, waving it off as the uninspired mess that it was.

"Well I think it is definitely worthy of at least one favor, so stop being so stubborn and take it!" Twilight said, getting annoyed.

"Fine, but can I take a raincheck on that? I am in no need of a favor right now, and I think we should get back to your parents before they start worrying... I know my dad would never allow me to leave for this long." I said, looking at the late afternoon sun as it approached sunset.

"Now that you mention it... I don't think you ever told us about your parents." Twilight said, her eyes darting back and forth along the ground in thought.

"I didn't? Okay well how about I tell you tonight?"

Twilight nodded and led the way to her old family home.

* * *

Upon arrival to the amazingly huge house that bordered on being a mansion (because apparently Twilights parents were loaded from their successful jobs), Twilight Velvet welcomed us home and gave me a freshly baked cookie. I was slightly disturbed by her kindness to me. We had barely gotten to know each others names and she was already treating me like I was part of the family. I had run across a few other people like this back home but for some reason I felt like I was taking advantage of their overwhelming generosity. They told me that I was free to sleep in Twilight's bed since it was fit for two fully grown ponies and if I needed anything all I had to do was ask. Night Light was less upfront about being friendly but he seemed just as happy as Velvet. He was like the calm and controlled father figure that I never had... and I felt safe just to be around him. Twilight lead me up a staircase to her old bedroom. I noticed that everything was organized and clean. There were a few tall bookcases that held not only books but a few magical trinkets such as a crystal ball. I didn't know if there was a purpose to any of them or if they were just for show, but it was clear that Twilight had been a magic fanatic for a long time. There were also a few sculptures scattered around in between the empty areas not filled by bookcases. However, the thing that had me speechless from the moment of entering the room was the enormity of it. The ceiling was at least fifteen feet above us and the walls were so far apart that it could have fit my old home inside of it! I walked around slowly taking it all in.

"Could your room be any bigger?" I asked rhetorically.

"I know... I always thought it was too much." Twilight said as she got on the queen sized bed. Her bed had a headboard with an engraving similar to her cutie mark. The covers were purple and the pillows were hot pink, nearly matching the streaks in her hair exactly. She soon made herself comfortable on it and started staring at me. I was about to ask what she was looking at but she beat me to it.

"So? Aren't you going to tell me about your parents now?"

"Actually I was hoping you would have forgot about that before we got here..." I admitted.

"Please, like I wouldn't remember you giving me your word to tell me more about you! You hardly tell me enough as it is so your not going to get off that easy mister!" She laughed, knowing she was going to get it her way whether I liked it or not. I sighed in defeat and began to speak of the ones I called my parents.

"As you already know, I had a pretty crappy life. Most people are normally grateful to have family to support them in times of need, but I have never had a true loving family. My parents did raise me to know right from wrong pretty well and have kept me fairly safe throughout the years. They fed me and kept a roof over my head so I wouldn't say they are the worst parents in history... but they aren't nearly as nice as yours seem to be. My biological father actually didn't stay in my life too long after I was born... the stories I heard about him vary but he was supposed to be a pretty decent guy. I dont remember him because I was only about two years old when he left. The one I called dad took over from there and raised me as his own. I never spent too much time with him and we never had anything in common so we mostly kept our distance. After I got sick I rarely saw him even though we lived under the same roof. He did continue to take care of me when I was in dire need, but other than that, he didn't seem to care. Our personalities were too different for us to bond so we never really knew each other."

I wanted to end the story there, but Twilight asked me the one question I really didn't want to answer.

"Okay... what about your mother?"

"I don't want to talk about it..." I said quietly, trying my best to contain my feelings about it.

"Come on, it will make you feel better! What is it? Get it off your chest. Let it all flow ou-"

Getting irritated with her persistent pushing of the subject, I snapped, "I HATE HER, OKAY?! She was NEVER there for me! Even when I was admitted into a hospital, fighting for my life, all she could do was talk to her ex-husband on the phone and cry about her problems, which weren't even real! Her ex was a manipulative criminal jerk who played my mother like a violin in order to get what he wanted, and my so called 'mom', LET HIM! Even after I was able to come home after the surgery was over, she just left me to get drugged up! She never cared for any of her children, but right when I thought she could prove she loved me, she abandoned her TERMINAL SON for a douchebag who just abused her! She may be my mother... but she will never again be my mom."

Once I was through, I was breathing heavily from my rage fueled rant. I don't know why I told Twilight what I had. That was something I had never revealed to anyone before... but oddly enough, I felt like I could talk openly to her more than anyone else I had encountered. I waited for Twilight to call me horrible and slap me for hating my mother... I knew deserved it and I wouldn't hold it against her. Suddenly I felt Twilights arms wrap around me and squeeze me tight. Much to my surprise she was crying.

"I'm SO sorry... I didn't know. You must have felt so alone!" She sobbed, squeezing me even tighter. I was going to tell her to get off me, but I changed my mind and decided to let her do as she wanted this one time. After all... this could be her last chance. I would be seeing Celestia in the morning and for all I knew, this could be my last day before being banished...


	12. Welcome worthy of royalty

Welcome worthy of royalty

It was well past midnight and I was still awake. Why you may ask? Because I needed to make sure Twilight didn't see me make my move... I had to leave. After I told her about my parents and we ate together at the family dinner table, I realized that I couldn't let her come with me when I went to see Celestia. To make sure her judgement of me would be fair I knew I would have to reveal the truth about humans in it's entirety, and I couldn't let Twilight get in the way if I were to be banished. I knew what kind of pony she was and I knew that she would do everything in her power to keep me from harm even if I were found to be a threat to all of Equestria. I wanted to make sure things stayed as fair as possible and I got what I deserved... nothing more, nothing less. Like I mentioned before, I am a firm believer in equivalent exchange and I felt that everything would remain in a state of balance. Of course I didn't want things to end here, but I had to know if I was too corrupt for this world. I didn't think I was like some of the more wicked people on earth, but who could say I didn't have some deep darkness in my heart that was dangerous? As a human, I contained the potential for committing horrific acts of violence and the like. I HAD to make sure I wouldn't be a problem in the future and talking to the princess would be the only way to know.

I had been laying in the bed we were to share for at least two hours. The gap between us was large enough so it wasn't uncomfortable, and I always had a habit of sleeping on the very edge of the bed, with only about three inches supporting me. Once I was positive she was out cold, I gently moved the purple cover off me and moved silently towards the window. Looking out at the city, I could see the castle over the many rooftops scattered between. The window wasn't one that could be opened by any means other than breaking it, so I would need to teleport. I would have left through the front door but that would risk me running into Velvet or Nightlight, and how could I explain myself there? 'Oh hello, I was just sneaking out because I might be a ticking timebomb of evil who will unintentionally corrupt this world, so don't mind me!'. Yeah... definitely not on my 'to-do' list.

I turned around to see Twilight one last time before leaving. If I was going to the moon, I at least wanted to remember the face of someone who cared about me and she was the only one around. She looked so calm and peaceful there, and as cliche as it sounds, the faint moonlight that illuminated the room almost gave her the look of an angel... a unicorn angel maybe, but still an angel. After I was satisfied and thoroughly believed that her image was sufficiently burned into my mind, I began to focus on the teleportation spell.

Right before it activated, I quietly whispered, "Goodbye...", even though I knew she couldn't have heard it.

* * *

It took a few moments for my head to vision to clear from the long range teleport, but I was now at my destination... Canterlot Castle. It was enormous to say the least. It must have been at least as large as a football stadium if I had to guess, and that's not counting the towering spires that decorated it. While I was marvelling at the monument of engineering in front of me, I heard a shout come from one of the towers.

"HALT! WHO GOES THERE!"

I turned my attention to the voice and saw none other than Luna. If I knew how ponies did the 'squee' I would have done it at least five times at the sight of her. Luna was way better than Celestia in my opinion. Not only did she have an awesome personality, but I believed that making night was a hundred times harder than making day. If you think of all the stars Luna would need to paint the sky with every night, it made Celestia look like a slacker. All she did is raise the sun. Making night was an art form in my eyes. I had tried to make convincing stars in my art before and it is tough as hell! I thought Luna deserved much more respect than she got for her hard work.

Getting irritated at my long bout of silence, Luna dropped down from her post and asked again... in the Canterlot Voice, "WHO ART THOU?!"

Everything blurred from the loud wail of the princess. Whenever things were too loud, my vision would be the first thing to go. My eyes would cross and unfocus to the point where I couldn't tell which way was up. It was an experience that I hated and would flip out over.

"SHUT UP! MY GOSH! It's like you're TRYING to destroy my eardrums!" I yelled furiously.

"My apologies, the voice is a hard habit to drop, but nopony is allowed to visit without written consent at these hours. I suggest you go back home, whoever you are.", Luna said as she walked the other way.

"Oh right, my name is Jason. I'm supposed to see Celestia today. I guess I should have mentioned that." I said trotting up behind her. Suddenly, she stopped and glanced back at me.

"Jason, you say?" A small smile formed on her lips before she quickly hollered, "GUARDS!"

In an instant two of the guards that I believed to be a part of the stonework moments before, came rushing at me. My brain switched over to defensive mode and I got ready to counter. The first guard was an earth pony by the looks of it so I took advantage of that. in one fluid motion, I sidestepped and gave a quick jab to an unprotected portion of his neck right behind his jawline. His head jerked to the side and his limbs went stiff, causing him to come crashing to the ground, however I was only paying attention to the second guard who was flying at me. He was a pegasus... and just as dumb as the previous guard. I simply moved with the same flowing technique to the left this time and spun slightly as I went for his wing. I curled my right arm around and positioned it to catch the feathered appendage. After it touched my inner elbow, I placed my left hoof over the other side, locking it in place. I leaned back and used my weight against him. His velocity combined with me as the ballast, sent us into a spin and I let go just at the point where he would be sent hurtling into the front castle doors. I had taken out two of the castle guards in less than three seconds... all because they were ordered to attack me out of nowhere. I hated violence, but I hated being a punching bag even more. My eyes locked on to Luna with a cold anger. Why would she order the guards to attack me for no reason?! I quickly got my answer.

"You are indeed him alright... Sorry but I had to make sure. Ponies have been known to impersonate just about anypony in order to get a private audience with my sister. The only way I could have know it was you is by testing you in combat. Not everypony can take down a griffin alone, so I just thought that I would give you an equally challenging fight... it was the only test we could think of due to the vague details in Twilight Sparkle's letters."

"Wait you attacked me just to see if I was me? Excuse me for saying this, but... THAT'S RETARDED! What would you have done if I got my butt handed to me?! Say 'nice try, but better luck next time'?! Am I the only sane one in this world of pastel talking horses!?"

Luna blushed, "When you put it that way it does seem to make no sense... But you should take that up with Celestia! It was her idea!" Luna then got uncomfortably close to me and quietly whispered, "And just between you and me, I think she was a little tipsy when she thought of it."

The downed guards groaned as they got up, catching Luna's attention.

"May I ask how you did that to them? Never before have I seen anypony defeat the royal guard so quickly."

"I just took advantage of a few pressure points. A few days ago I decided to read up on pony anatomy to discover any weaknesses to the pony body, you know... just in case something were to happen where I would need it. Oh and would you look at this! I was right!" I said with bitter sarcasm. Right after I revealed my technique to Luna, the palace doors swung wide open and standing there in front of us was Celestia.

"Sister! What are you doing up?! My shift is not even close to being over!" Luna exclaimed in what could be considered panic.

"Really now Luna, you mustn't be so protective of me. I am fine and a little less sleep won't kill me... I see our guest has arrived." Celestia said with an amazingly harmonious voice. If I had to guess I would have said that she would make an excellent lead singer in a band. Her size caught me off guard to say the least. She towered over me as if I was a small child. She must have been at least two and a half times bigger than me. My fear of her size paled in comparison to my fear of her power. From here on out I would have to remember to be on my best behavior or risk a free trip into space.

Celestia took a moment to look around before asking, "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but weren't you coming with Twilight?"

"She, uh, said I could come on my own..." I lied.

Celestia lowered her head to look me in the eye. "Did she also say that you are a dreadful liar?"

'Oh crap! I only said one thing and I already screwed up! I'm dead! I AM SOOOO DEAD!', I thought to myself, practically wetting my pants (if I had any to begin with that is). From all the lore that surrounded Celestia, one move could be the difference between being fine and being toast. And from the looks of it... I just _royally_ burned myself.

Right as I was ready to count myself out, Celestia's expression turned to that of warmth and understanding. "Don't worry though, you must have your reasons, but from now on please do try to be honest with me. Deal?" She said with a motherly smile. Relieved that I hadn't blown it, I nodded quickly. Never before had I been so nervous... and I didn't know why. I was fine with death at this point. Come to think of it, I wasn't afraid to die on Earth either. If I had died, I wouldn't have been upset or anything. I might have been comfortable with the idea because it meant eternal peace, and I always pushed myself to the point of agony. However, now I was suddenly afraid of what might happen. This shouldn't have been the case. I should have cared even less about my sentence since I was stuck in a land where I had no use in life, but something drove me to gain a favourable spot in the regal ponies eyes.

Celestia turned to the palace doors and calmly said, "Let us find a more private area to speak... please follow me."

I did as I was told and trailed closely behind. I thought I would have to speed up to match her pace, but she seemed to be walking more slowly for my sake. I could have chalked it up to my imagination, although her body language gave me the belief that she truly did put me into consideration. As we walked the halls, the sun princess occasionally glanced at me. The look in her eyes showed faint signs of curiosity from my perspective.

It took a while, but we eventually reached a large room that looked like it was meant for two to talk together. The furniture consisted of one table and two chairs seated on opposite sides. Other than that, there wasn't much to it. Large portraits of Celestia and Luna adorned the walls and there were some potted ferns in the corners, but still the room felt relatively empty. The walls were pink and trimmed with white moulding. The windows were slim, but tall and accented with red curtains that matched the carpet. All in all, it looked like a room suited for royalty. Celestia took a seat in one of the chairs and gestured for me to sit across from her. This was it... I was going to discover how fit I was to be here. I calmed my nerves and strode over to my designated seat. I sat there in front of her with a blank expression. Celestia leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table with her hooves set together. Her stern and serious stare told me I was going to be in for one heck of a discussion.

The white alicorn inhaled through her nose, sat up straight, showing her grand stature and air of power and then... pleasantly asked me, "Would you like one lump of sugar or two with your tea?"

I was confused as to if she was serious. Sitting there, mouth agape, I thought to myself, 'Is this some sort of test? Didn't she ask me to come for a more important reason than to drink tea?!'. I couldn't help myself but to ask, "What did you just say?".

In a flash a platter appeared with a pot, two cups, and one bowl of sugar cubes on it. "I said 'one lump or two with your tea'?"

I wasn't in the mood for games at this time... I wanted answers. I slammed my hoof on the table and snapped, "I didn't come for some stupid tea! Stop jerking me around and get to the point!"

Celestias warm smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of calm seriousness. "I was hoping we could keep the atmosphere light and friendly while we were speaking... you see I don't enjoy these talks and would rather make them feel more pleasant through any means I can, but I see you want to do this the same way as taking off a bandage. Quick and sharp. Very well, let's begin."

The tea and everything that came with it vanished and was instantly replaced by a few scrolls. There was something oddly familiar about one of them. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why it stood out, until Celestia unrolled it in front of me and I began to read.

* * *

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_I just met the most remarkable stallion yesterday. I didn't believe it at the time, but he is from another world! He calls it 'Urth' and he says that he was this monkey thing called a 'human'! I find it strange that he doesn't use magic, but he says it doesn't exist. He is the only unicorn I have ever met that doesn't believe in magic. He said that his name is Jason (weird name if you ask me) and he is trying to find a way to make it back home. I am afraid that he won't make it and his efforts are in vain, but I think he is a nice guy and I wouldn't mind if he were to stay. Right now we are in the scheduled thunderstorm and he is making music through this one shiny black thing he calls an 'MP3' to help me forget about it. He may act like a jerk sometimes, but deep down he has a good hea/\/\/\/ Sorry but he just ran off. I need to go find him. I'll fill you in on the next letter._

_Your faithful student,_

_Twilight Sparkle_

* * *

It was the letter she was writing on my second day in Equestria... and she misspelled '_Earth_'. What really surprised me was how much she talked about me. She based her entire letter on me. I wasn't that interesting so why talk about me? What had I done that was so great?

"She cares for you deeply... more than you may realize. I have looked into your heart and I see that you are a decent pony and a good friend. From the stories I have heard, you stick up for those around you and you will do what you can to make others feel better before yourself. You do have a fire in you that can get out of control, and you seem to have encased your feelings and emotions in ice, but they are beginning to thaw by the looks of it. One thing that really bothers me is your connection to love and caring emotions. They are almost gone entirely... almost. You are strong and persistent, though you have many scars from past experiences. Your emotions are bottled up and dying to get out, however you refuse to give in to them. Whether this is from trying to be tough or caused by your previous tribulations, I am not certain. All I can say for sure though is that your heart appears to be in the right place."

"I'm surprised I still have a heart to speak of... my best friend used to say that if you opened my chest, all you would find is a black hole where my heart should be." I quickly retorted. "And you know what? I agreed with him..."

Celestia sighed and responded, "It is true that your heart is in rough shape... but that doesn't mean it's gone. In fact, I often find it is the ones in the rough that turn out to be diamonds in the end. Twilight was actually not too far from you in the case of your loneliness."

I raised an eyebrow, "Who said I was lonely?"

"Your heart did... it is screaming it. Though, we don't need to discuss that anymore. We have more pressing matters to speak of. The things your heart can't tell me. Your past, your values, and your thoughts... I need you to tell me everything you can if that is alright with you."

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Okay... but you may want to grab a snack. This is going to take a while..."


	13. Dragon at dawn

**Dragon at Dawn**

You know, I never imagined that I could spill my guts with such ease. I expected to at least stumble over a couple of words, but that didn't happen as I revealed all to the luminescent being before me. As I spoke of my life story like I had to the others, Celestia mostly remained calm yet intrigued of my tale. She said nothing beyond the occasional question and kept the same basic appearance throughout it all. Celestia's consistent upbeat attitude clashed with my deadly serious demeanor. Our outward personalities were practically parallel opposites... she was like warmth giving light and I was cold, unforgiving darkness. We came from two very different worlds and it would have easily been apparent to anyone observing us together. I found it strange that I respected her. I always said she had no reason for respect since she never did anything but call upon the mane six to do her work for her, but I still felt an overwhelming power flow from her. Maybe she had a spell in place to alter my view of her. Whatever it was didn't matter. I just had to tell her what I could and hope for the best... still I wanted to get into her head as much as she was allowed into mine.

I drew to a close with my own story and waited for a response. She took another sip of tea and made her thoughts known.

"Well, I see Twilight wasn't exaggerating when she said you had many issues. Still even after all you have told me, I sense... a greater darkness within you. Something that angers you above all else. Tell me of the rest of your kind. I believe that has something to do with this reservoir of fury... am I correct?"

Without showing my surprise to her accurate assumption, I replied, "No... you hit the nail on the head. I am not proud of my species. Some humans remain good, but the majority let evil temptations guide them like puppets. They have little willpower and rarely hold back when they can gain something they want. Their greed overpowers them and causes them to be unjustly cruel, or sometimes they are cruel just because society says they have no time to be nice. In reality I believe them to be corrupt and bloodthirsty beings to their core... and I feel sick to be counted among them. Humans are spiteful, angry, malevolent creatures that don't even care for one another."

I couldn't tell if Celestia was sad to hear me say this or considering my banishment at that moment. She didn't do anything other than ask me how I came to the conclusion that I did. That's when I knew, I had to tell her about our most dark actions... our wars. I took out my mp3 and began to play 'Boom' by System Of A Down. I sat there and waited for the song to end while simultaneously throwing a few images dealing with war and death into her mind. Terrorism, political propaganda, jets dropping bombs, thousands of graves, dead bodies piled in a field left to rot... I bombarded her with the horrific details of everything concerning our horrible deeds. This world was obviously lacking such things and I was going to give her the full tour like she deserved. I would not hide anything. The song ended and I began to explain.

"Our kind kill each other daily through war. Not on a small scale either... we can execute hundreds of thousands of our own kind in mere moments if we wanted. Each day we kill thousands only because our world leaders tell us to. It doesn't matter how innocent or guilty our targets are, we will still kill without thought because of our orders. Many times wars are started because of political disagreements, religious differences, or money. Countless lives lost for the pathetic reason of greed. Death is far too common in my opinion and that is why I wanted to go home... to stop the hate anyway I could and make my world a little better. Many say its a lost cause and there is no way that it will end. I believe that if I can change the way other countries view of each other and give everyone a little push in the right direction, I can turn things around for the better... but there is always going to be that seed of evil within us. That one little piece of us that wants to kill."

After finishing Celestia turned and shuddered. My speech had disturbed her to say the least. I had expected her to react as such. I hadn't even gone over the fact that we condemned each other to death and slavery over a slight difference in skin color... it seemed unnecessary at the moment anyways.

"Do you believe you are one of them or do you see yourself as something more?" The princess asked, once again laying her eyes upon me, though with a stern look this time.

"Hard to say..." I said, leaning back in the chair, looking up at the ceiling high above me. "At times I do feel more kind and thoughtful that the rest, but at others I feel like I could be far worse. In my world I went by the alias Jason 'the Demon', and I do believe I have many inner demons that I have yet to face... so in short, its a gamble. I may be better now, though I could very well snap into a monster at any time. I fear that my past life has dwindled away my stability and insanity could be only a step away... but like I said, it's hard to say what I am or what I could be."

"You seem very relaxed for telling me all of this... do you not fear punishment?"

I sat up and looked her dead in the eye. "Don't get me wrong. I am terrified but... do you believe in fate? I do... I think everything happens because it is destined to. My birth, my ill fated life, my arrival to this dimension. It is all part of the intricate web of fate. I believe everything is meant to happen so things balance out in the end. If I am destroyed, it was meant to be and I can not change it no matter how much I worry, therefore I stay calm and go for the ride whatever the outcome. It is foolish to do anything when it is out of your control."

The room then went silent for a long while. The grandfather clock in the hall outside the door could be heard clearly as we stared each other down. I didn't even know why we were having this moment of tense silence by the time she spoke up.

"It is about time for me to rise the sun... I will take time to think while I do so. Please make yourself at home."

Celestia then made her leave and I was alone. 'I will take time to think'... like I didn't know what that meant. I could tell what she really wanted to say was 'I'll give you a few more minutes to live, feel free to look back at your life before I end your sad existence Mr. Threat-to-my-kingdom'. I could have made a break for it but I know that with magic being a reality, my escape would be short lived at best. All I could do was wait for her to come back and pray for a painless punishment. I think anyone else in my position would have tried to sugarcoat the description of humans. However, I was going to keep my story as gritty as I saw fit... nothing more, nothing less. I was taught that there were dozens of layers between true honesty and pure lie. I took it upon myself to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth to the best of my ability. With Celestia being royalty meant that I would be an idiot to tell her otherwise. I knew that I was screwed either way, but one way would delay the inevitable, the other was straight to the point. I disliked stalling what was bound to happen, so I chose the latter.

My decision was mine and mine alone. I didn't regret any of my words. I chose them carefully and I was ready for what I deserved. A few stray strands of light entered the window and I walked over to observe Celestia's work. This was the first time I was up early enough to see the sunrise in this land, and it was glorious. The cool night air left and the sun's warmth heated me. I stretched to invigorate my tense muscles from a sleepless night. I would have found it silly to hear of a man on death row loosen himself up just to die, but right now it didn't seem so odd. It never ceased to amaze me how different a sunrise felt compared to a sunset. they looked very similar but one would give warmth and start the day while the other would take away the warmth and bring the peace of night. They were still both very beautiful to witness nonetheless. While looking out the window I heard a distant shout.

"JASON!"

I adjusted my gaze down towards the palace steps. It was Twilight and she looked livid. It was fair to assume she was furious because I snuck out while she was asleep. She was well within her right to be angry with me, I knew that and accepted it. She started pounding on the front door and shouted some more.

"GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW MISTER! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE AND I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

I smiled seeing her get so worked up even though she could have probably just teleported inside. My amusement died off quickly after I heard a shout from one of the guards that suddenly bursted into the room.

"DRAGON AT THE CASTLE!", he yelled in a panic, his voice cracking from fear.

I looked back down at Twilight who was still screaming at the top of her lungs. I gently shook my head and turned to the guard.

"Okay, I admit she's mad and kind of scary at the moment but shes far from a fire-breathing monster."

The guards eyes widened and he pointed slightly above me. "She wasn't who I was worried about..." he said meekly, shaking like a leaf.

I raised an eyebrow, confused as to what he was getting at and turned around one more time... to see a giant orange draconic eye look right back at me. My jaw dropped as it blinked. I could see my own reflection in the humongous slitted pupil. I slowly rotated to face the door. I carefully lifted my front leg and then... ran like hell! I shot down the hall as fast as I could. I didn't even look back after hearing a scream and a roar coupled with the crackle of a blazing fire. When I came to the stairs I wasted no time in walking down, oh no, I jumped on the handrail and rocketed down to the main entrance area. I could still hear Twilight knocking on the huge doors so I flung them open. My heart leapt into my throat as I saw the dragon right behind her. She was completely unaware of it because she was too focused on me. Using my magic I pulled her in and shut the doors.

"You have some explaining to do! Do you have any idea how worried I was when I found out you were gone?!" Twilight barked.

"No time, Dragon!"

"What did you just call me?!"

"NOT YOU!..." I began.

The scaled behemoth then broke through into the room with us.

"THAT!" I yelled, pointing at it while keeping my eyes on Twilight. Of course Twilight screamed once she found out what was really going on, but like I said before, we had no time for that. With quick thinking on my part, I turned us invisible. It was simple if you knew how light was used to see. All you had to do was bend the light around an object to theoretically make it invisible. The bending of light was apparent in some anomalies in space with extremely high gravitational fields, such as a black hole. I had no clue as to if it was even possible beforehand since I had never attempted it, but thankfully it worked. The dragon seemed to think we had teleported or something by the way it gave up and walked off. I was just glad Twilight had stopped her screaming when she did. After I was sure it was safe, I stopped holding my breath and let the spell fade.

Speechless, Twilight turned to me. Her expression was that of shock and awe. I saw her mouth moving slightly but there was no sound to go with it.

"We have to go... he won't be gone long and we need to get somewhere safe before he comes back.", I said as calmly and rationally as I could.

"Wh-what was that?" Twilight asked, now visibly trembling.

"A dragon... a _real_ dragon. You know if I wasn't so sure it wanted to eat us, I would be ecstatic. Dragons were always a strange obsession of mine... but that's beside the point. We need to get out of here." I began to walk towards the gaping hole left in the wake of our fire-breathing monster, but soon noticed Twilight hadn't moved. "What are you waiting for?! Come on!"

Twilight shook her head and took a step back. "We cant just leave Celestia like this... she needs our help."

I could feel my eye twitch from the sheer stupidity I was faced with. "What do you mean 'she needs our help'?! SHE'S PRACTICALLY A GOD! And let's not forget, LUNA IS JUST AS POWERFUL!"

"But Celestia just rose the sun and Luna just lowered the moon! Do you even know how drained that leaves them?! THEY COULD DIE!"

I hadn't thought of that... the sunrise and sunset every day takes the switching of sun and moon. Changing day to night and vice-versa would be difficult for even them. moving celestial bodies around and making the transition run smoothly could only be done by godlike powers, and even though they possessed such power, they were not immortal... at least it was never said that they were. However, even if I wanted to help, how could I? This was a dragon we were dealing with and I was no more than a crumb waiting to be eaten. I wasn't even bite-sized! How do you kill something so large, let alone something that has been told to have steel hard scales and enough strength to topple a castle without breaking a sweat?! It was an impossible situation I did not want to take part in.

"I'm sorry Twilight, but we stand no chance. It would be better if we..." At that moment I managed to catch a glimpse of that stupid unicorn's tail before it vanished behind a far off corner. Of all the idiotic things she could have done, this was the absolute dumbest! She must have had a death wish or something! Without thinking I ran after her. She was so far ahead of me that I could barely keep track of which turns she made. The whole time I chased her down, I could hear roars and feel the floor shake from the rampaging dragon.

Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, they did. A piece of the ceiling fell and blocked my path. By the time I had managed to get over it I had lost Twilight's trail at a four way intersection. It was like someone had purposely made this place to be a maze. I picked a hallway at random in hopes that it was the correct one. I was frustrated beyond belief and felt as though I was chasing off a toddler who was purposely trying to run into traffic! I hadn't been focusing on where I was going anymore and bumped into something after turning a corner.

I fell on my back with my eyes clenched shut and screamed for my life. "OH GOD DON'T EAT ME!"

"Don't worry, I'm not a cannibal.", said a strikingly familiar voice.

I opened my eyes to see Celestia standing over me. I had never been so happy to see anyone in my life (probably because it meant I wasn't going to be torn apart by car sized teeth). Feeling rather embarrassed that I actually begged for my life, I rushed to get up and brush myself off to spare any further humiliation.

"Where's Twilight?" Celestia asked with a stern glare and harsh tone.

"Beats me, she just ran off looking for you because she said _you_ needed help... wait, how did you know she was here?"

"I could her scream a little while ago... I feared the worst might have happened. I found that Discord was not in his room when I heard her-"

I instantly cut her off. "Wait, why were you looking for Discord?! How could he help?!"

"Discord has been rehabilitated to serve under me. I hoped that he could help with situations such as this, but this is the first time he has just disappeared on me. I don't know if I'll be able to stop the dragon in time without him... and without the Elements of Harmony, I see no way out. We will have to evacuate the castle."

I rolled my eyes at her pathetic excuse. "You rely too much on the elements... if I were in your position I would at least come up with a decent plan before jumping straight to sending six innocent girls to their potential graves. You are the leader of this kingdom! Try acting like it!"

Celestia looked like she was going to yell at me, but before she could we heard a scream. Looking out a nearby window, we saw what looked to be the palace gardens, and right there against one of the stone walls was Twilight. The dragon that we had barely evaded before was fifteen yards away from her at most. I know fifteen yards sounds like a lot, but against something that size it was only a step or two away. I could practically see it grinning victoriously.

I turned to Celestia and shouted, "DO SOMETHING!"

"Like what?! Get eaten myself?! Even if I could manage to teleport to it, I wouldn't be able to stop it!"

"YOU COWARD!" I screamed, feeling pure rage coursing through my veins.

"COWARD?! What do you plan to do then?! SHOW ME YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN! COME ON! WHAT IS IT?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?! GIVE ME A SECOND TO THINK!"

I paced frantically, searching through my mind trying to come up with something, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get past the mental block my current stress created. 'Come on! THINK!', I mentally yelled, pleading for clarity.

Right at that instant, it was like something clicked into place in my brain. Just like when I couldn't find Fluttershy's house, everything became clear and easily processable. A nearly bottomless well of information flooded my brain but felt natural at the same time. Suddenly it hit me. Why hadn't I thought of it earlier? Dragons are reptiles... which meant cold blooded. Without a second thought I opened a rift in space time, making a portal in midair. I don't know how I did this but I didn't care at the moment. All I knew was I couldn't waste any time. I pulled a few vials of various chemicals from the portal.

"Are those from Twilight's lab?!" Celestia asked, obviously stunned from her tone.

"Yep. I don't think she will mind, do you?" I responded turning to her while continuing to mix the chemicals in a calculated sequence and quantity to get the formula just right. Celestia shook her head, trying to keep her regal appearance intact (but failing miserably).

"Well alrighty then... hey does this look close enough to C major to you?". Celestia stayed silent and I looked back at the vial. "Hmm... yeah, needs a tad more blue."

I put a few more drops of the blue liquid in and sealed off the top with a cork. Somehow I knew what the outcome would be even though I never worked with chemicals before. Just like all those times in school where I knew the answer but had no clue how I obtained it. I galloped off down one of the halls that had stained glass windows lining the garden.

"What are you doing?!" Celestia, called out.

"Getting eaten! What does it look like?!" I called back.

I kept track of my position by counting the number of windows. 'Seven... Eight... here we go! Ninth window!' I thought as I levitated a bust of Celestia's head and tossed it at the window. The glass shattered and gave me a clear view to the dragon who was currently picking up Twilight by the tail with his claw. I hastily tore the long curtains by the window down and rearranged their molecular sequence to make them more like elastic, then I tied them around two columns far from the window, making sure they were in the perfect position. I got on the other side and started walking back, increasing the tension on them. When I got to the right spot I stopped and put the floating vial of light blue liquid under my arm and held it like I was carrying a football. Now that everything was in place, I was ready to do the craziest thing I had ever done... _EVER_!

"HEY YOU OVERGROWN IGUANA!" I shouted to get the dragon's attention. He looked down towards me and had Twilight dangling right in front of his open mouth... perfect.

"Fus Ro Dah..." I said, releasing my hoofs from the floor.

By using the curtain as a slingshot, I shot straight at Twilight, traveling at a velocity of roughly 80 miles per hour. Right before I hit her I opened my free arm and let her fall into it. In less time than it took to blink, we were already in the creature's mouth. I quickly released my hold on the vial gave it a little push to shoot it farther down his throat. Right after doing so, I teleported. We reappeared right next to Celestia. I looked to the dragon to observe my handiwork in effect. He reared his head back in confusion and put a claw to his throat. A moment later he began to cough a very pale blue smoke. As he coughed he began to stagger and weave around as though he were inebriated. He stumbled into the castle once and then fell to the ground soon after. That was when Celestia and I noticed that Twilight was still screaming. I nudged her with a hoof and she snapped out of it.

"W-what's going on? Where's the dragon?" she asked, still shaking.

Celestia and I both pointed to the fallen beast.

"H-how?!" She inquired, looking at the scaly thing with her mouth wide open.

"Yes, I am curious as well. How _did_ you do that?" Celesta added.

"Well you see the chemical formula in that little glass bottle was the key. It was made to be reactive to high temperatures. Once I had Twilight, I tossed my concoction down the dragons throat and let his stomach acid eat through the cork. Once that happened, it would respond to the fire in his stomach. I noticed that Spike belches when he breathes fire, so I came to the conclusion that the fire originates from the dragons stomach. When the heat of that fire came into contact with the mixture I had made, it responded by creating cryogenic gas! I figured that since he was still technically a reptile and cold blooded all I had to do was cool him down. When cold blooded creatures get cold they don't shiver. Instead they just sorta slow down and fall asleep... soooo, ta-da?"

"Where did you learn how to do all that?" Celestia asked, looking positively baffled.

"Well that's easy I..." right at that moment I could no longer think as clearly and my mind went back to its original state. It was like my brain had been running on fifth gear and suddenly shifted to first. The wealth of knowledge felt like a fleeting dream. I realized I was at a loss for words.

"I... don't know." I said trying to recall the answer I was about to give before my brain cut out. At that instant, everything began growing dark and my vision was fading. I found myself passing out.


	14. Justification of a madman

**Justification of a madman**

I woke with a splitting headache that felt like someone had hit me with a sledgehammer. It wasn't totally unbearable but it still hurt. I cracked opened my eyes and was blinded with light, causing me to close them and try again.

"I think he's waking up!" I heard Twilight say excitedly.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious..." I groaned, fluttering my eyelids to get adjusted to the light in the room. My vision was blurry at first but eventually cleared, revealing Twilight to my left and Celestia straight ahead by the door. I seemed to be in a room resembling a that of a hospital, meaning I must have been injured somehow and in need of medical treatment.

"Are you feeling okay?" Twilight asked, clearly concerned for my health.

I rolled my eyes and sarcastically replied, "Well besides having the worlds largest migraine, oh yeah, never better..."

"Good!"

*_SMACK!_*

Twilight slapped me with her hoof so hard that even Celestia could hear the sound from across the room. I held my own hoof to my stinging cheek and shouted, "What the hell was that for?!"

"FOR NEARLY KILLING US BOTH, USING TOO MUCH MAGIC AT ONCE, PUTTING YOUR LIFE AT RISK, AND RUNNING AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!" Twilights fierce look of rage caused what happened next to surprise me. She knocked away my hoof and kissed the area of my cheek that she hit a moment before. "And that's for saving us all..."

Stunned, I sat there a moment, then quickly rubbed my cheek. "DANG IT! If I don't like hugs what makes you think that a kiss is any better?!"

Celestia and Twilight both giggled at my dismay. Looking at Celestia smiling like nothing was wrong made me angry and I felt like hitting her right there. If she thought I was going to let her get away with her earlier behavioUr she was dead wrong.

"I'm surprised you slept as long as you did! You were out for a whole day! Celestia said that if you had used any more magic you could have ended up seriously hurting yourself... please don't ever do that again." Twilight requested, using a puppy dog pout on me. However the joke was on her. I built up an immunity!

"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises", I said with a smirk. My playful smile faded and I turned my attention to the alabaster alicorn in the room. She met me with an equally serious stare as if to say 'go ahead and tell her, I DARE you!'. Oh man did I want to tell her, however after contemplating possible outcomes based on the personality and knowledge Twilight possessed, I found that there was a significant chance for it to go totally wrong at that point in time. I guessed that Twilight would either side with Celestia and not believe me or she would breakdown from the truth of what her surrogate mother figure and beloved mentor had done. Either way I would only be making things worse and all Celestia stood to lose was the trust of Twilight... and I had the chance of losing my greatest ally and friend, not to mention a place to stay. So all I did was remain quiet and let the moment pass. I could tell that this was going to be a difficult battle and I would need to remain patient in order to keep the peace while also staying true to my morals.

Twilight noticed our little stare down and said, "Um, is there something going on with you two? Should I leave?"

Celestia smiled warmly and replied, "Oh no, there is no need to leave. I was just going to voice my sentence of your friend here and it will actually be better for you to be here with us."

'What is she thinking?! She isn't going to really banish me in front of Twilight, is she?!' I thought, swallowing the knot in my throat.

"I have a few concerns, many include the human race as he described..." the princess began.

"What? He told you about that? I can'T even bring it up without him freaking out! And he just told you?!", Twilight shouted, glaring disapprovingly at me. I just shrunk down trying to make myself as small as possible. I felt like I was on the receiving end of a parents lecture about bad grades (though I never got them).

"Yes, he said that they were devastatingly cruel and vicious beasts that would gladly kill for entertainment...", Celestia continued. "However, I believe that his views are skewed and distorted from a life of loneliness and hardship. He seems to have become detached to most emotions which could very well blur his vision and keep him from seeing the kindness of his kind. If I were to view things through his eyes, I would be banishing him right now or worse. Its a good thing that I don't though because his selfless act of saving your life at the risk of his own shows his true nature and character. Underneath all the filth and disdain of his own kind, he is a caring, compassionate and a thoughtful pony with amazing potential. Though all his qualities have a flipside. His intelligence, although substantial, is prone to madness like all great minds. The darkness inside of him from being in such a violent world is great and could easily influence him if not under a watchful eye and given attention through the love of another. And that is why..."

I braced myself for her to say 'he shall be put to death', but she never did.

"He will be put in your care until further notice!"

Twilight's jaw (and my own) nearly hit the floor. I didn't know she was stunned, after all it wasn't her life on the line. Celestia then came up beside me and smiled with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know why you believed I would just banish you on a whim, unless that is what the rulers in your world do. Next time, don't be so quick to judge... _I_ wasn't.", the sun goddess said with a smirk.

At that moment the door flung open, revealing my all time favourite character. If you can guess who it is you get ten points... times up. The answer is Discord. He had a bouquet of flowers in his eagle talon and casually strolled up to us in all his chaotic glory. I couldn't believe the king of crazy was actually here! His twisted personality and zany antics were my favourite thing about him. I always found warped reality and the surreal to be fascinating, but what fascinated me more were the minds behind them. Individuals who suffered from various forms of psychosis were always the most interesting to observe because to them reality was whatever you choose it to be... the difference with Discord was that he really COULD make reality whatever he chose. There was no limit to what he could do, thus he had unlimited creativity. He was the pinnacle of thinking outside the box, because to him there was no box to think in.

"Where were you yesterday?" Celestia asked him with a slight tinge of anger.

"Oh you know... _around_." He said, literally drawing a circle in the air, and I don't mean like he just did the gesture... no, there was a black VISIBLE circle in the air where he drew for a moment before it faded into nothing. I knew that I was smiling like an idiot but I didn't care. He was just so cool to me! A life form who could bend any natural law to suit his desire was just... COOL! He noticed my smile and presented the flowers to me. My smile faded, but not for long.

Taking the flowers back, Discord stared at them and said, "Oh what was I thinking! These aren't suitable for a unicorn who defeated a dragon with a single hoof!". The flowers then started to glow with a gold color and morphed into various suckers and lollipops right before my very eyes. "That's much better!" He said, setting them on my lap.

"Uh,not that I don't appreciate the gift but... I'm not that in to sweet things.", I said, pushing them toward Twilight. "And as for the dragon business, I would rather have Celestia get the credit for that."

"Why?" the mismatched being asked, puzzled at my intentions just as much as the others.

"Because if Celestia is the one who took it down, no big deal. If I am the one who took it down, press going nuts, paparazzi tailing me everywhere I go, no peace anywhere. So you see I'm not doing this to boost Celestia's reputation as much as I am trying to keep mine under wraps." I explained.

"As degrading as that makes me feel, I must admit, it's ingenious. The public wouldn't think to question it and they would have no reason to snoop around and discover the truth. To them it would just be another average day." Celestia said, putting a hoof to her chin and obviously pondering how much thought I must have put into it.

"So what are you doing here?" Twilight asked, arms folded and a look of disdain on her face.

"Oh yes, why I'm here, of course! I just thought I should see this remarkable lad for myself, and perhaps have a few words with him?" Discord said with an upward inflection causing it to sound more like a request than a statement. Celestia nodded and I got up. My first few steps were a little unbalanced and the floor felt like jello, but I was still able to walk unassisted. Discord opened the door and gave the universal sign for 'after you' as he held it. We walked side by side down the enormous hallways, avoiding the remaining debris that had been created by the dragon the previous day. Discords mouth was turned upwards into a mischievous smirk the whole time. He seemed happy for some reason but knowing Discord, it could have been anything and most likely unrelated to anything at the moment.

After about five minutes of silence later, I asked, "So what did you want to talk to me about? You must have a reason for dragging me out of there."

"Do you know how you got here?" He asked, keeping his sight on the hall that extended before us.

"The last thing I remembered before coming here was a bolt of lightning struck my computer then a portal appeared and sucked me in. I'm guessing it was just a freak accident." I theorized, shrugging my shoulders to show that I wasn't sure.

Discord gave a nervous laugh then responded, "No... actually it was me."

I stopped right then and there like I had been turned to stone. I remembered the night I was taken from my world like it had just happened.

~_You're wish is granted!_~

I used my magic to slam him against the floor, belly up so I could stomp on it and look him straight in the eyes. I was FURIOUS! It was his fault I was here! It was his fault I was stuck in this equine nightmare! I wanted to kill him so bad right then, but I couldn't... my code wouldn't allow it. I lived by rules I had set for myself and no killing of anyone was at the very top of my list. As much as I yearned to rip out his entrails and strangle him with them, I knew it wasn't right... and he knew I couldn't do it.

"Oh pah-lease. I know what you are like. You don't have the guts to harm me." Discord said as I got off him. He stood up, brushed himself off, and continued. "I have been watching your kind for some time now. As the embodiment of chaos, I can see into any number of realms that contain it, and let me just say... I'm impressed. You humans don't even need a helping hand, you just create chaos of your own free will! Or should I say many of you do... I have noticed that there are some amongst the common rabble that do not seem to fit. You were one of them. I watched you for days. You were by far one of the most interesting humans I had come across. I mean, making a moral code and living by it with nearly no slip ups? That is something I didn't see very often. Sure the others would make promises, saying that they were good and would live to be decent, but they always threw away their previous notions to enjoy the chaos of their brothers and sisters. Not you though... you were different, you were adamant and cared nothing of what others thought."

"Yeah, that's me... I don't give a crap." I said, having cooled down from earlier.

Discord then kept speaking as if he hadn't even listented to what I said. "However, you were not very happy. I almost felt sorry for you. So much potential, yet you were secluded in a room nearly every day with nobody to talk to and nothing to live for. You spent all your time learning, drawing and writing... you didn't even play games anymore! From my perspective you looked completely defeated. Then on that fateful night you said, and I quote, ah-hem... 'I wish I could live in a place as peaceful as Equestria'.". The draconequus mimicked my voice perfectly almost like there was a recorder in his throat.

"Cute... but I never wanted to be stuck here! That was just me thinking out loud! Fantasizing! I intended it to stay that way! AS A FANTASY!" I shouted, once again showing my outrage.

"Calm down, I can get you back... but you will have to be able to harness immense amounts of magic. For you it should take about a month to get strong enough."

"Strong enough? Why can't you just poof me back home like you poofed me here?!" I asked, frustrated with him and his previous actions.

"Because it takes more power to go from this dimension to your dimension. There is more pressure in your dimension and it makes taking things from there child's play. Putting them back is another matter. You have to push against the dimensional space and put a lot of force behind the object you wish to return. In fact the reason why I had to turn you into a pony was because you would have died from the difference in spatial pressure had you stayed in your other body. I even gave you a horn complete with magic just so you could perform daily tasks without slobbering on everything... you're welcome by the way."

At this point I didn't know if I was angry with him or grateful. Seriously, I could have went either way, but instead I decided to ask one last question. "Okay, if you were behind all this... what took you so long to tell me?" I inquired, rubbing a hoof against my head in irritation.

Discord then smiled nervously like Applejack when she had to lie about Pinkies birthday party. "Wellll... I sort of, kinda... misplaced you."

"What do you mean you '_misplaced_' me?" I growled.

"Um, well you see the thing is that I made a little mistake getting you here and instead of ending up in my chambers, you went off course and landed somewhere near Ponyville. I would have tried to find you, but not knowing what you looked like after I was done changing you into a pony would have made it difficult."

"I see. I believe we are done here. Oh and before I forget... don't think I wont put you in a hospital if you should be lying. I don't have to kill you to punish you. Hell, I don't even have to hurt you. I could just shut off most of your senses and have you walk around for the rest of your life being unable to hear, see, smell, and taste. You would live the rest of your life, essentially forever, in a state where the only way to know if you were still alive would be to hurt yourself." I said while giving the mismatched creature my 'death stare'.

"Wow... you are almost as twisted as I am." Discord said, still smirking.

"Thanks, I know..."

* * *

After we were done talking, we went our separate ways. Before heading back to his chambers, Discord told me to keep things quiet about him being the one who brought me here because Celestia would beat the insanity out of him for meddling in the affairs of other worlds. I was heading to the palace doors, or at least what was left of them, when I was stopped by Celestia. She was levitating a clipboard and quill.

"Hello. Did you have a pleasant chat with Discord?" She inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah, he was... _fun_ I suppose. What are you doing?"

"I just remembered that since you are from another world, we have no citizen documentation for you. I was bringing you this to fill out." She said as she gave me the forms. I quickly wrote out all the information needed to the best of my knowledge, but hesitated at 'name'.

"Is there something wrong?" the regal pony asked.

"No... I just thought that 'Jason' isn't a very normal name here and I was wondering if I could write down a more suitable one."

Celestia put a hoof to her lips and thought for a moment before replying, "I don't see any problem with it. Did you have a name in mind or do you want a list of common names?"

"I do have _one_ in mind..." I said, scribbling down the name then giving her the finished paperwork.

"Dusk Shimmer? Doesn't that sound like...?" She trailed off, noticing that I already knew and had done so on purpose. "Very well, congratulations as you are now a fully fledged citizen of Equestria. Now run along, I believe Twilight is waiting for you and she has a tendency to get impatient when left with nothing to do."

I took her advice and started trotting to my destination. When I found Twilight she was tapping a hoof rapidly in impatience.

"FINALLY! Do you know how long I have been waiting?! We have a train to catch and we are going to be late if we don't hurry!"

"Sorry but I was held up by 'princess paperwork'. She wanted to make me a citizen before I left. Oh and you didn't lie to your parents anymore." I said as we were galloping down the roads.

"What are you talking about?" She asked while remaining focused on running.

"I changed my name to 'Dusk Shimmer' so now that lie that you told your parents about my name being Dusk is no longer a lie, so technically you have remained honest to them."

"Uh-huh sounds good..." She said, obviously no longer listening. I decided to wait until we reached the train before re-explaining myself.

* * *

Once we boarded the train I found out that we were actually fifteen minutes early. I asked Twilight why she said we were going to be late... she told me that we were going to be late being early. I wasn't mad at her for making us early, I actually liked being early so I didn't have to stress. However I was mad that she made me run for no reason. Being the nice guy I am, I let it go this time, but if she ever does something like this again I am probably going to sneak some poison joke into her next salad, just to make things even. During the ride back to Ponyville we had a little talk about what Celestia had arranged. According to Twilight, I was going to be under her watch to make sure I don't pose a threat or cause harm to 'anypony', including myself. I was to live with her, eat with her, and stay with her at almost all times until we reached a conclusion about who I was inside and out. Basically I was to be guarded and watched for as long as Celestia saw fit. I suppose the punishment could have been much worse, but I still didn't like the thought of being under constant supervision from Twilight.

I had also told Twilight about everything she had a question to. I mean, I couldn't really keep it from her now that I had told her mentor. The part where I spoke about our wars was toned down so she wouldn't freak or possibly vomit. I chose my words carefully when speaking to her but had no idea why. When I was done telling her about how I chose my name to be 'Dusk', for the second time now, she was thrilled. Twilight believed that I had picked the name she decided for me because I was trying to make her happy, but the truth was I thought it fit me so I went for it. Dusk was a shadowy, dark name that had a sense of mystery to it and at the same time was breathtaking. I would have picked something else if I thought of a better name, but I didn't so that was that. However I kept this information from the purple unicorn seated across from me because there was no sense in making her feel bad just to correct her.

* * *

After leaving the train and making it back to the library, I was greeted by Vlad the moment we swung open the door. He wrapped his webbed wings around me, screeching in delight.

"Hey buddy, I'm sorry we were gone so long. We ran into a few problems in Canterlot." I said as I pried the overjoyed bat off me.

"He was a handful, I'll give him that. Every day you were gone, he just flew around and screeched. He didn't break anything, but man was he annoying!" Gilda said as she walked out. I had asked her to keep an eye on things while we were gone. You know, check up on the house, make sure Vlad was okay and that spike wasn't going without his daily torment that I had made part of my routine. I couldn't have him think things were going to be better with me gone or else he would scheme up ways to get rid of me.

"So did you..,?" I asked nudging Gilda with my elbow.

She scratched the back of her head with her talon before responding, "Yeah... but are you sure he wasn't supposed to like it? He hasn't complained once."

Twilight looked at me suspiciously. "What was who not supposed to like?"

Just then Spike came running out with an apron, holding a remarkably tiny feather. "Twilight! You're home! I cleaned the toilet with my tongue just like you wanted, I ate all the moldy food in the fridge, and I also dusted the _entire_ library with nothing but this single feather!"

"Holy crap... he actually fell for it." I said with my mouth hanging open.

"Jason..." Twilight snarled.

"Ah, ah, ah... it's Dusk now, remember?" I remarked with a smart aleck grin.

*SMACK!*

* * *

** A/N: I'm sorry to inform you that this story is going to take longer to update now that I have run out of chapters to post on FIMfiction. I am in the process of making the next chapter but it will be a while before I can post it, then it will be about a week in between chapters after that. So until then, 'keep calm and flutter on'. (My god, I can't believe I just said that! I feel the need to go throw up now...)**


	15. Cutie mark graduation

**Cutie Mark Graduation**

My day started out normal enough, but quickly turned into a battle of epic proportions. I was now face to face with a strategic genius and backed into a corner. We had been waged in a duel of minds for at least two hours now and I knew signs of my fatigue were showing. This was by far the most challenging obstacle I had come across and I feared the worst was about to happen. I peered into the eyes of my adversary, hoping to somehow read her mind and come out on top.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" She asked as I made my move known. I nodded in response. I had no other move available so I was forced to take drastic measures in the slim chance it would pay out.

Twilight moved her queen into position and shouted, "Checkmate!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THAT'S THE THIRD GAME IN A ROW! How do you keep doing that?!", I cried out in defeat.

"You think too much about what you believe I know and don't focus on what you do. You think I'm studying you and trying to counter you, so you in turn try to double counter me, but that just leaves you open." She said, smiling and putting the chess set away.

"But you are supposed to try and read your opponent in chess! That's how you win! By knowing their moves before they do!" I retorted, desperately trying to point out a flaw in her logic.

"Yes, but you think that I'm reading your mind so you are thinking of what you would normally do and then do the opposite. You can't think that far ahead." She explained, shaking her head and laughing a bit.

I didn't think it was possible to think too much, but the way I was beaten on multiple occasions in a game of wits showed otherwise. I would always try to predict what my opponent was thinking, however if they were supposed to be thinking about what I was thinking and vice versa, then I would go back and forth wondering how far ahead they were thinking. It was a fatal flaw of mine, over-estimating my enemy.

Twilight and I had been spending more time getting to know each other over the week following our visit to Canterlot. She didn't fear me or hate me after I explained what I saw from human nature... in fact she seemed to like me even more. Her reasoning was that I was a good human and defied the natural order to be cruel. I found the thought of me being 'good' funny. I mean really, I was a sarcastic, dark, sadistic jerk whenever I could be. Yes, you heard me right... sadistic, I liked watching others get hurt. It made me laugh. If you would stub your toe or trip on your shoelace, I would respond by laughing my head off. However, serious injury like broken bones or anything involving blood caused me to feel quite different. I wouldn't laugh and instead try to help. The thing that confused me was where did the line between pleasure and sympathy lie? At what point do I change from being amused to worried and how 'good' am I for enjoying mentioned injury? And furthermore, is it wrong to feel pleasure when others are feeling pain? I would contemplate how nice I really was by thinking of abstract scenarios and how I would react. For example, if I were in a position where the only way to save one life would be to kill another and I did, would that make me evil or a hero?

Twilight saying I was good didn't mean anything if we didn't even know where the boundary of evil was. The purity of one's soul was relative to one's moral values and views of what was right and wrong. There was no true way of knowing how bad someone else was because of your own personal biases. There is no universal scale on who is good and who is not, and that was what had me chuckling to myself.

While I was laying on the couch, I thought back to the day after we got back. Discord popped into a book I was reading while Twilight was in the other room and he told me one special thing he forgot to mention. He said that the only way I could get home was to make the portal while he pushed me back, and to make it I would need to be so powerful I could rip apart the fabric of reality like he did. In order to become that magically strong and keep from passing out from the strain, I would need to keep a spell up at all times. He quickly taught me a space distortion spell that I could keep hidden in plain sight but still have it be strong enough to give my brain a workout. It was basically a miniature black hole smaller than the size of a grain of sand. I had to keep my focus on making that point in space incredibly dense. The great thing about it was that it was only visible if you really focused on it while it was right in front of you. It would warp light around it and make a weird distortion effect like a cameras fisheye lense.

The spell was difficult at first, but after a few hours I could keep it up without even trying. There was only one problem with it though... at the end of the day I was so wiped out that I couldn't see straight. Twilight asked me what was causing me to be so tired and to keep my plan hidden I had to lie and say that it was a thing that happened to humans once a year for a month. I called it the '_month of fatigue_'. For some reason lying to her felt wrong... more so than usual.

While I wondered what had changed to make me feel bad about lying to her, I heard three slams at the door. I got up and went to the source of the noise to discover what was behind it. Upon opening said door I found the culprit... or culprits as the case may be. It was the Cutie Mark Crusaders. By the looks of things they were trying to be luge professionals.

"Who is it?" Twilight asked as she came back from putting the game away.

Without skipping a beat I responded, "The three amigos and their newest attempt at failing."

"Jas- er, I mean, DUSK! That's not very nice!" Twilight scolded, still trying to get used to my new name.

"Well I'm not a very nice guy... but I know how I can fix it. Do you mind if I spend the day with them?" I asked as I pointed to the pile of arguing fillies.

"Why? What are you planning to do?" Twilight asked in return.

"I was thinking of helping these three finally get their cutie marks so they will stop all this craziness and destruction. I don't think Ponyville can take much more..." I explained as I showed the rest of the miscellaneous broken things scattered around town. The roads were littered with shattered pots that once held plants and crushed boxes that held anything from soap to food. I was surprised to see that there weren't angry villagers with pitchforks chasing after the mischievous trio.

Twilight laughed as if this was all cute and said, "Okay, but be back before dusk."

Thinking that this was too good to pass up I replied, "Be back before what? Please finish your sentence."

"But I thought I did... I said be back before du- _oooh_... I get it! Be back before '_Dusk_'! Ha ha ha! Good one, but I'm serious, I can't have you out too late." Twilight said waving me off.

"Alright _MOM_! Geez, can you believe her?! Psh... parents am I right?" I said while walking away, making the three munchkins of mayhem giggle.

* * *

As I led the way, the Crusaders all asked me if I was really going to help them earn their cutie marks.

"That was the initial idea. Is there a problem with me doing so?"

"Well no... it's just everypony normally tells us we have ta find out what they are fer ourselves.", Applebloom admitted, sadly looking at the ground.

"Yeah and I can see why they would want you to. It's giving you a great and adventure filled childhood, not to mention a strong friendship. However, I think it has gone on long enough. I've sort of been watching you for some time now and I see that your talents are right there in front of you, but you haven't figured out that they are your talents yet." I explained as we neared Sweet Apple Acres. "I think it would be cruel to keep your potential a secret from you when you should have come across it a long time ago... so I am going to give you all a choice right here and now. If you want I can lead you to your cutie marks and reveal the mystery. But keep this in mind, if you get your cutie marks, you will be permanently stuck like that. The question you have been seeking will no longer be unanswered and your days of random activities to find your gifts will forever be behind you. If you still want to go through with this, speak up now..."

I waited for their decision. They silently looked to each other for reassurance, all three looking somewhat unsure. Unbeknownst to them, I had started counting the seconds. I figured if they couldn't make up their minds after twenty seconds, I would let them be and leave them to their lives without my interference. Upon the nineteenth second I turned to leave, but was interrupted by Scootaloo.

"Wait! We want to get our cutie marks!"

I looked back at them and asked, "Do you all feel the same way? I will not help you unless your choice is unanimous."

Applebloom stepped forward and nodded, then Sweetie Belle hesitantly followed her example.

"Okay, Applebloom, you will be the first to earn your mark." I said as I led them into the Apple family barn.

"Wait, why can't we all get our cutie marks at once?" Sweetie asked in her squeaky, high pitched voice.

"Because you all have different talents unique to you and Applebloom is going to pave the way. You didn't seriously think you all had the same cutie mark did you?"

The white filly opened her mouth to respond, but quickly shut it. Obviously her retort wasn't a good one by the way she seized up. I stayed quiet as I pulled out some various pieces of leftover wood from the barn while they asked their little questions about what their true talents were. I told them that I wasn't just going to blurt it out, but that didn't stop them from guessing... and guessing incorrectly might I add.

Once I was sure I had enough materials I placed a hammer into Appleblooms mouth, both to make her hold it and to shut her up. After I strapped a helmet and some safety goggles on her, I unfurled a piece of paper and showed it to her. They were a designs for a hardcore line of ramps, half pipes, and rails. I had made the blueprints only the day before and was eager to see them come to life.

"You are going to make _this_." I said, slapping my hoof on the page.

"Okay, but where are our hammers and stuff?" Scootaloo asked.

"You don't get to help. This task is for Applebloom alone." I answered. Both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo couldn't believe what I was saying. Their expressions were a mix of confusion, shock, and outrage.

"Are you CRAZY?! There is no way Applebloom can do that by herself!", Sweetie shouted, her voice cracking.

"Oh no?" I said, turning and extending my arm out, pointing to Applebloom who had already finished the first ramp and was working on the halfpipe. In response to the sight before them, they rubbed their eyes to make sure they weren't just seeing things.

"Now she only needs to realize that this is her talent and her mark will appear." I told them as I focused on her flank and waited to see the magical emblem show itself.

* * *

About fifteen minutes had passed and Applebloom was almost done. She had made all the segments and was now in the process of moving them into position and nailing them together. I walked up to her as she hammered in another nail and asked, "So, I see its going well... did you notice anything special about what you're doing?"

She paused for a second, "Yeah, ah don't know why, but this is really easy... the buildin' ah mean. It's like it's..."

"What you were meant to do?" I said, finishing her sentence.

"Yeah! Exactly!"

"Take a guess as to what the reason for that is..." I said, trying to be as cryptic as I could. The small yellow earth pony furrowed her brow and started to think. It didn't take long for her to pop her head up and gasp, realizing the truth. Right then her cutie mark appeared and she gazed at her flank, mystified at it. When the shimmer faded, an image of a hammer and a screwdriver was left over. Her cutie mark was that of building and fixing. I first noticed that she had a knack for it when she fixed up the old treehouse and my theory only strengthened as she made the props for their talent show and worked on the float during the Babs Seed episode. The joy spread to her friends and they all got together in a group hug... then they set their sights on me.

"Oh no... Don't you dare! DON'T YOU DA-AH!" I shouted as they tackled me before I could flee. "Okay that's quite enough, I know I'm awesome and all, but we still need two more cutie marks before it gets dark. Sweetie Belle, you're up next."

"REALLY?! YAY! Oh my gosh this is going to be the best day EVER!" She shouted, prancing about merrily.

* * *

"ARGH! I'm SO BORED!" Sweetie Belle grumbled after we got to Vinyl Scratch's recording studio. It turned out that, while primitive, the ponies of Equestria had recently come to make basic technological sound based recording and broadcasting devices. I discovered that Vinyl was one of a select few who could work with the equipment involved. When I asked for her help she was more than happy to because she said a sandwich, tasty though it may be, was not a sufficient reward for what I had done for her... but not exactly in those words.

"So like I was saying, Octy straight ripped you off dude! Psh, a sandwich for saving my saddle bags! There must have been enough dough in there for at least a hundred of those nasty things! … Don't tell Octy I said that." Vinyl said, getting the equalizers in place by moving the sliders in front of her.

Sweetie was sitting in the sound booth on the other side of a glass pane separating us. Applebloom and Scootaloo were much more patient about the whole ordeal, but then again they could actually talk to each other about Applebloom's new cutie mark. Sweetie Belle on the other hand was in complete silence until we pressed a button to talk to her. When we first arrived, she thought she was going to be a DJ like Vinyl Scratch, but I told her that wasn't the case.

Once everything was set and ready to go I pressed the button to communicate with the bored unicorn. "Okay, it seems like we have a few technical problems in here", I lied. "We need your help to find out where the problem is. Would you mind singing into the microphone there?"

"This microphone? Okay... um, what do you want me to sing?", Sweetie Belle asked, slightly tilting her head.

"Oh anything will do. Just sing from the heart, get creative, have fun with it, I don't care." I said, shrugging my shoulders and acting like I really wasn't interested.

Vinyl put a little background music on and just like that Sweetie started singing. She started off a little timid but slowly warmed up and began to enjoy it. All the ponies in the room with me were blown away, however, I was grinning with a sense of achievement as my plan continued to work. When the song started to come to an end Sweetie Belle suddenly realized that this must have been her talent and she popped open her eyes just in time to see her cutie mark appear. The shine faded fast and a microphone with a musical note by it now adorned her flank. Seeing this only made her feel better and bring the song to an epic climax, ending it with a round of applause from her friends as well as a very excited Vinyl Scratch.

"AW YEEEAAAH! That girls got a wicked set of pipes! WOO!", the blue haired DJ shouted in a classic punk rocker tone.

Suddenly the little filly we were just listening to bursted through the door and shouted, "I got my cutie mark! I got my cutie mark!"

The next thing I know, I am at the bottom of a pile of little laughing ponies. "You guys really need to stop doing this to me... I can only handle so much affection in one day." I grumbled under the dog pile of childish giggles.

* * *

I led the group back to the object Applebloom had assembled earlier that day. I levitated it with Vinyl's help to a crowded area in Ponyville. We had brought along Vinyl's turntables, complete with microphone and speakers. I let Applebloom and Sweetie Belle in on my plan so they could help with the final phase. Scootaloo looked kind of down by this point in time so I rushed to get things ready for her. I positioned the musical technology so it would be heard by all the spectators that had gathered to find out what was going on. I then gave Sweetie a lyrics sheet and let Vinyl listen to the music on my MP3 that I wanted her to recreate. Lastly, I told Applebloom to rig some of Pinkie's confetti cannons and party poppers to the end of the course. Once I believed everything was in order I began speaking to the orange flightless pegasus.

"Someone looks like she's spending too much time down in the dumps. Are you not excited?" I asked Scootaloo who was sitting by herself at the side of the road.

"No I'm not excited... I always imagined that Rainbow Dash would be with me when I got my cutie mark.", she said, running her hoof along the ground sadly.

"Well I suppose I will have to do something to fix this... I can't let your most important life moment be imperfect now can I?". I turned my attention to the sky and focused on the principle of sound. In reality sound was the vibration of air molecules that reached our ears, so all I had to do was make sure the vibrations could reach the cyan speed demon. "RAINBOW DASH! GET YOUR BLUE BUTT DOWN HERE **NOW**!" I shouted, focusing the sound waves of my voice to remain strong as they shot straight into the clouds.

I made sure my call wasn't going to be heard by any of the ponies around me by muffling the surrounding air. Soon enough, I saw a small sky blue dot zooming down towards us. Rainbow Dash landed right in front of me, looking quite mad.

"What is your problem?! Do you know how many pegasai heard you calling for me?! You had better have a reason for embarrassing me like that buddy!" Rainbow yelled, pushing her face against mine while hovering.

"Is Scootaloo getting her cutie mark a good enough reason?" I asked.

"She got her cutie mark?! Really?!" she shouted, gasping.

"No not yet... but thats why I went through such desperate measures, because she is about to and she didn't want you to miss it.", I explained matter-of-factly. "Now that you are here, we can start the show..."

"Show?" Dash and Scootaloo asked in unison.

"Yes, and you are the star." I said as I looked at Scootaloo.

"Me?!" She squeaked nervously.

"Yeah, do you have your scooter?" I asked. She nodded without saying a word, bringing her scooter into view. "Good, now see that ramp up there? The really big one? Get up there and use your scooter to run down that ramp and, well you'll figure it out from there. Basically, just let your heart guide you and shred the heck out of that skate run!"

"Yes sir!" She said, saluting me as Rainbow Dash placed her helmet on her head. The orange filly then started to climb the ladder to the top of the first ramp (which was a pretty odd sight considering she didn't have fingers to grab the rungs). Once she got to the top I amplified my voice like before but focused the sound to emanate clearly throughout the crowd. I announced Scootaloo by reciting the first few lines of Salivas song, 'Ladies and Gentlemen'.

"Mares and gentlecolts please, would you bring your attention to me? For a feast for your eyes to see, An explosion of catastrophe. Like nothing you've ever seen before! Watch closely as I open this door! Your jaws will be on the floor! After this you'll be begging for more!" I announced with more flair than I thought was possible for me. "I present to you... SCOOTALOOOOOO!"

I pointed to Scootaloo, signaling her to drop in and blaze her way down the ramp. Her action in turn told Sweetie Belle and Vinyl to begin the song I had prepared. It was fast paced and got apparently worked well with the stunts Scootaloo was performing by the cheers of the onlookers. The little pony was pulling off moves like 720's, backflips, grinds and things that most professionals would have been jealous of. The support she was getting from all the ponies watching was getting her hyped, it was apparent as she performed bigger and better stunts. She flew through each portion of the course and gained speed at each interval. Finally she came to the last ramp which led to the final rail. This was when things went from awesome to epic. She launched off the last ramp and did a no-handed (or should I say no-hoofed) double backflip which queued Applebloom to fire the cannons, shooting streamers and confetti everywhere. For a moment while she was in mid air everything seemed to stand still. Scootaloo was in her element and she knew it. After what seemed like an eternity, she landed on the rail and started to grind it, placing her hooves back around the handle bars. Her speed caused a wave of sparks to fly from the underside of her scooter. She was engulfed in the bright light and I was certain nobody could see her beyond it.

At long last, she came to a stop, and after the dust cleared we all saw something that was not there before. Her new cutie mark must have appeared while she was shrouded by sparks. It was an image of her scooter on fire. It was dead silent. Every pony there was awestruck and rendered speechless. Rainbow Dash broke the silence. "THAT WAS _SO_ AWESOME KID!", she said, flying over and giving the filly a hug.

The rest of the random ponies joined in cheer while Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Vinyl Scratch gathered around her to commend her show. I thought this would be an excellent time to make my getaway so I could avoid another tackle-hug. Slipping through the flock of mares and stallions, I left without a word. My work was done and I was ready to head back.

* * *

After making it back to the library, I picked up a Daring Doo book and started to read it. I thought I might as well check them out since I had nothing better to do. Twilight asked if everything went okay and I told her what happened. She told me she was proud of me and I rolled my eyes before getting back to Daring Doo. It didn't take long before I heard a knock at the door.

"Can you get that? My hooves are full with washing dishes.", Twilight hollered from the kitchen.

"Can't the Mailbox get it?" I hollered back.

"I'm in here too... AND STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Spike yelled.

"I'll stop once it stops being true!" I said, heading to the front door. I opened it and saw something horrible. "No! Stay back! I'm warning you, I have magic! Don't-!"

*CRASH!*

"Cutie Mark Crusader Hoofball Players! YAY!"

"Ugh, it never ends..."

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long, there were some personal problems that set me back. Hopefully it will be over soon. I tried to make up for it by making a slightly longer chapter. There may be about five more chapters left (just an estimate) so things are about to come to an end. I suggest that you begin reading The Legend of the Shadowmare series I have made if you haven't already because that is where I will be going after this is finished. So until next time, keep being awesome.


	16. Sick day

**Sick day**

About nine days had passed since I helped the CMC get their cutie marks, but everything had stayed the same! Instead of leaving the random daily activities behind them, they continued undaunted. They said that they didn't care if they had their cutie marks now, as long as they were friends they would always try to have fun together, and that meant every other day or so they would slam into the front door... just like before... with some stupid goal in mind. It was like they were just trying to torture me. But I digress, it was nice to see that they were staying so close. I knew from experience that maintaining a strong friendship was difficult, or at least for me it was.

I was still asleep and having the most wonderful dream. I was dreaming that I was back home and everything was perfectly normal. There was no ponies, no dragons, no magical bull crap to speak of... until my scaly alarm clock decided to go off.

"DUSK!" Spike shouted right by my ear, startling me awake. (Yes, they finally got used to calling me by my new name.)

"SPIKE! HOW DOES THIS FEEL?!" I shouted back in his ear to give him a taste of his own medicine. He held a claw up to his head and cringed. I knew he wanted to blast me with his fire breath but something more important seemed to be on his mind.

"LISTEN! There's something wrong with Twilight!" he shouted in a panic.

"Uh-huh... and I'm a hairless monkey." I said still half asleep, trying to get my wits about me.

"I'm serious!"

"No duh genius, so was I. In case you forgot, I'm not a real pony. Now what is going on with Twilight?" I asked, rubbing my eyes before putting on my lens-less glasses.

Spike led me upstairs to Twilights bed where she was still laying. He continued to tell me everything he knew, which contained a lot of 'I-don't-know's'. It was obvious that Spike was very worried and didn't know how to stay calm under pressure. He kept pacing around and biting the tips of his claws franticly. Twilight was awake but totally out of it. She softly moaned and then coughed, shaking and moaning louder afterwards. I saw these symptoms before, many times as a matter of fact. but just to make it more dramatic I decided to do a 'medical examination'.

I levitated a random book from the bookcase, hiding the cover from Spike so he wouldn't notice it was actually a romance novel. I furrowed my brow and flipped through the pages like I was looking for the right one. I stopped suddenly and put my hoof on the text, moving it back and forth as though I was reading it. I put my wrist to Twilights forehead. She was burning hot.

"Twilight? I need you to open your mouth. Say 'ah' please."

Twilight did as I said and I saw that her throat was bright red.

"Oh no! it's just as I feared!" I said acting like Twilights life was in peril, even though that was hardly a possibility. "Spike! Get an ice bag, some blankets, a rolling pin, a pencil and a tub of frozen yogurt! _STAT_!"

Spike ran off and came back surprisingly quickly with everything like I had asked and even a spoon for the frozen yogurt. I threw a couple blankets over Twilight and put the ice on her head. She shivered a little more but that was normal. I then set the rolling pin on the floor in front of Spike and levitated the pencil, placing it in his claw.

"Spike, hurry and stand that pencil up on your nose!" I shouted.

"Huh?! Why?!" He asked, completely befuddled.

"Who is the expert here?! Just do it!" I yelled brashly. He hastily put the pencil on his nose and balanced it the best he could. "Good, now balance on the rolling pin!"

"B-but-"

"DO IT!" I yelled again while opening the frozen yogurt. Being too hysterical to think rationally, the little dragon followed every command. "Okay now say 'she sells sea shells by the sea shore'!"

"She sells sea shells by the seashore!"

I took a spoon and scooped out some of the chilled dessert. "Now say 'I'm a gullible chump who will fall for anything'. She only has a cold Einstein...", I said calmly before placing the spoon in my mouth and taking a bite of the sweet strawberry flavoured substance. Spike immediately fell face first on the floor. He muttered something while his face was pressed against the wood floor. Not knowing what he said, I held a hoof to my ear I asked, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I said 'I hate you'..." Spike grumbled as he picked himself up.

"I know you do, but in all seriousness we will still need a few things... orange juice, some soup, powdered Vitamin C..."

"Powdered Vitamin C? What do we need that for?" Spike asked with his eyebrow raised in confusion.

"It's the best thing I have found for fighting off this kind of sickness. You can pump whatever you want into your body but nothing compares to what your own immune system can do when you give it a chance. I know this from experience, Vitamin C is like a miracle cure when used correctly." I explained.

Without another word Spike rushed downstairs and out the door. Twilight started to fully wake up and become more aware of her surroundings. I half expected her to get sick the day before since I heard her coughing and sniffling throughout the day. When I was younger I couldn't go a week without catching some sort of bug, so I had experience in all kinds of medical remedies. I was so good in fact that I used to correct the teacher multiple times in health class at school. I guess it was a good thing I came to Equestria when I did because Spike didn't know what to do, which in turn told me that Twilight must have had a very good immune system and rarely got sick.

"Could you get me a glass of water? I'm kind of thirsty..." Twilight asked out of the blue.

I went and fetched a glass out of the kitchen cupboard then turned on the faucet. To my surprise, Discord poured out and manifested in front of me. I ignored him and turned on the water again to fill the glass.

"That's it? Not even a friendly 'hello Discord, how are you this fine day'? Nothing?" Discord said mockingly.

"I don't have time for you right now, and you shouldn't be here in the first place. What if someone sees you talking to me? We had an agreement... I strengthen my magic, you send me home... nothing more."

Discord lounged back and began floating around me. "Well I just felt like reminding you of where you belong. You seem to be getting awfully close to Celestia's little pupil."

"I don't see what you're talking about. I am exactly the same as I was before. Nothing has changed between us." I said apathetically.

"Then why have you changed your name? Why did you risk your own life to save her from a dragon? What reason do you have for taking care of her? I can see what's going on... you are beginning to like her and I just wanted to remind you of the human you used to be... like it or not, you are changing and it isn't I who is compromising your return home. I suggest you look in a mirror sometime and see if you recognize the one looking back."

With a snap of his fingers, Discord vanished, leaving me by myself. He had no idea what he was talking about. I wasn't getting closer to Twilight... at least not any more than necessary. I was still me and I was still determined to return to Earth. I wasn't different... was I?

"Is everything okay down there?" Twilight yelled with a raspy voice.

"Yeah, everything's fine." I yelled in return.

I went upstairs and levitated the water to Twilights lips. She took a few small sips and laid back down. Spike soon returned with the things I had asked for. I mixed in about two teaspoons of the vitamin C with a small glass of orange juice and told Twilight to drink it. What I didn't tell her was that pure Vitamin C was remarkably sour. She puckered her lips after the first taste and I snickered from her reaction. I ensured her that it would make her feel better by tomorrow and she hesitantly drank it little by little.

Once I finally convinced Twilight to take a nap, I asked Spike to follow me outside for a few words.

"So what are you planning to do to me this time? Drop a piano on my head? Send me to Appleloosa on a rocket?"

I looked down and apologized the best I could, "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I hated you... I just always pick on someone for some reason. It's kind of a bonding thing to me, I find somebody somewhat similar to me and mess with them then they mess with me back... the next thing I know I'm reminiscing about what I did to the person and we both share a laugh. But once again, I... apologize for anything that you feel I did unjustly."

Spike looked at me suspiciously and said, "Okay, who are you and what did you do to the real Dusk?"

"I am me, or maybe I'm not... see that's why I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to know if I've changed since you first met me." I said, still deep in thought.

"No, you are still the same jerk that poured hot sauce in my cereal two days ago... I know you didn't think I would like it, but thanks anyway."

"I suppose I should have known spicing up a dragons food wouldn't work... but that wasn't what I meant. I want to know if I've been kind on a grand scale. You know, random good deeds, polite... nicer to Twilight? I just don't know if I will be the same guy next week that I am right now... I don't even know who I was before all this."

"Listen man, I don't know how any of that matters but there once was this saying, 'yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery...'"

"'But today is a gift... that's why they call it the present'." I finished, knowing the quote by heart. For once Spike provided me with much needed wisdom. He was right. I was dwelling too much on what was and what might be instead of focusing on what is. The present was all that really mattered at the moment, and right now the moment consisted of a sick Twilight that I needed to take care of because no one else could.

Spike got busy finishing the leftover chores while I went back up to Twilight's room and saw that she was awake and using her magic to build a house of cards. I sat by her bed and said, "I take it you are feeling better..."

"Yeah, a liddle..." she said back with a small sniffle. As she went to finish the house of cards, it fell and she let out a groan and flopped back on her bed. "I hade be-eg sick... theres duth-eg da do..." she whined, barely comprehensible with her stuffy nose.

I had to agree with her at that. There really was few things she could do here while sick. The lack of video games or TV made it rather dull even without being sick. From what I gathered, she already knew most of the books in the library by heart so reading wasn't a good way to pass the time for her. I tried to think of another way I could keep her preoccupied, and quickly thought of the perfect thing.

"How are you at answering riddles?"

She rocked her hoof horizontally in the air to reply 'so-so'. That was good enough for me though. A well made riddle could keep her wits sharp whilst holding her attention for an extended period of time. I had a few riddles up my sleeve from years ago. I memorized them because they were the most challenging ones I had come across and I liked how their simple answers would throw even the best minds off. Hopefully they weren't so difficult that Twilight would want to quit after hearing them.

"Okay, so it goes like this... 'It begins every entrance and exit. It is essential to creation but it also ends life...', What is it?"

"Oooh, thats a toughy... huh..." Twilight said her eyes fixated on the ceiling while her head remained resting on her pillow. I relaxed and let Twilight solve it on her own. I provided no hints or help, but she managed to come up with the correct answer sooner than I had anticipated. It only took her twenty minutes at most to figure it out.

"E..." She said quietly.

I instantly perked up and listened with with shock at her sudden answer. "What was that?"

Twilight sniffled, sat up and turned towards me, "The adswer... its the ledder 'E', right?"

She was indeed correct. The answer to one of my hardest riddles was the letter 'E'. After she got it right, I gave her a more difficult one... or at least I thought it was more difficult, but she solved it even faster than the first. The trend of more difficult riddles followed by faster answers continued for the next three problems. I finally gave up because her increased speed overtime defied all logic... and I ran out of riddles to ask.

I noticed that Twilight only seemed to be suffering from congestion right now, so I told her to take a shower in order to relieve it. She was a little woozy from being in bed all day and the fact that her sinuses probably had more pressure than a car tire didn't help. I helped her in the tub and waited outside the door. I instructed her to use very hot water so the steam would help her. I knew that next to my Vitamin C approach, a nice hot shower was the perfect thing for a cold. Not only did it help you breath, it also relaxed your muscles and helped stabilize your core body temperature by killing the virus faster. Most people say that you are supposed to use cold water to cool the body but the reason why we have fevers in the first place is because the germs in our bodies can't survive the warmer temperature. Fevers KILL the cold. However, if your body overdoes it, you can die as well. So it's just a matter of staying warm, but not so much that you kill yourself along with the germs invading your body. I found the best way to do this was with showers.

Once Twilight finished the shower she came out with a whole new look to her. She seemed to glow with vitality. She flopped down in her bed and let out a very content sigh.

"Looks like someone liked the shower..." I said, staring at her while she smiled in complete bliss.

"It... was... wonderful. You sure know your way around a cold. To think that this morning I felt like I was dying."

"Trust me, you have no idea what dying feels like." I told her as I laughed lightly. "I've been close on more than one occasion and let me just say that it feels almost like somebody is ripping you apart from the inside out and sucking out every bit of energy in you until you want to die just so the agony will be over."

Twilight grew pale and replied with a creeped out smile. "Y-you certainly have a way with words..."

For the next few hours Twilight, Spike and I played games. Not video games like I would have preferred, but card games, board games, guessing games, and the like. Spike and I were only interested beating each other so typically Twilight beat the pants off of us both because while we were busy pushing the other down, she would only be building herself up to win. At one point I saw Spike trying to peek at my cards so I turned them the other way... and accidentally gave Twilight a good long look. The point is, don't play with ponies... they're all a bunch of cheaters.

As the night went on, the cold regained its strength and Twilight had to lay down. Spike was already told to go to bed so he had no idea the fever had returned. Twilight was bundled up in many thick blankets but she was still shaking more than jello during an earthquake. I thought that she was going to feel worse once it got late because when I was sick my fevers would always peak around midnight. I checked her temperature with the thermometer in the bathroom. It was 104.3 degrees... it was on the border of a very high grade fever. I rushed downstairs, got the ice pack, filled it, and quickly returned to place it on Twilights head. The look in her eyes seemed to say that the lights were on but there was nobody home. They looked vacant and soulless. For the next half hour I sat by her and made sure the ice was cooling her down. Suddenly Twilight said something... something unexpected.

"Dusk... I want you to know that I like you."

Confused by her random, out-of-nowhere comment, I replied, "I... like you too?"

"No I mean I _really_ like you. I've liked you for a while and I don't want to hide it anymore. I really do like you, you know what I'm saying, right?"

I sat there for a few moments trying to comprehend what she was saying. I mean I knew what she was trying to say, but why?! What was making her say this?! The cold? Yeah that must have been it.

"Great... you're delirious! This is not good. I am not a trained doctor and this calls for an expert. I guess I'll just take you to the hospital and-"

"I'm not delirious..." Twilight said, interrupting my panicked yammering. "I don't think I've ever been so sure of something in my life. Ever since I met you, you've been the most interesting pony I've ever had the pleasure to talk to. I just thought you should know that if I don't make it."

I calmly went into the bathroom and retrieved a pill that I came across while searching for the thermometer. I popped open the bottle and pulled one out. Making my way back, I kept the small tablet hidden from Twilights sight.

"Hey Twilight what sound does a sheep make?"

"Is this part of a game or something?" She asked wearily.

"Yes, now tell me so you can win..."

"The sheep says 'baa'-ACK!" Twilight gagged as I shot the pill down her throat. It didn't even take two seconds for the sleeping aid to knock her out. Apparently they were supposed to be taken when 'the patient' couldn't sleep due to anxiety. I only took drastic measures because I had no idea how else to handle what she told me and I needed some time to myself to think (that and I thought she would be better off with more rest).

Throughout the rest of the night my thoughts kept me awake. It was actually very common for me to get little sleep when I had a thought in my head, but this was different. I couldn't sleep at all because one problem quickly turn into many within my mind. If she loved me what would happen when I had to leave? Did this give me more reason to stay? Was it right to go behind her back and make a deal with Discord when she liked me? How did my needs compare with the feelings brought up by Twilight? Was one more important than the other? And if so, which one? I sat by Twilights bed and looked out the window, listening to music while I thought. Before I knew it the sun began to rise. The song on my MP3 switched over and it felt like it was trying to send me a message. The new song was 'Thank You (Not So Bad)' by Dido. It made me wonder, 'are things really all that bad here'? I heard a yawn next to me and looked over to see Twilight rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Good morning... sleep well?" I asked turning to look back out the window at the sunrise.

"Yeah, I slept great. What about you?"

"I didn't..."

"Didn't what?" she asked unaware of what I meant.

"I didn't sleep. Someone had to make sure you were okay and since I'm a rather heavy sleeper I know you wouldn't have been able to wake me up if something was wrong." I said, making up why I didn't sleep to avoid the real reason.

Twilight stayed quiet for a few moments, looking like she was trying to recall something. "You know what's weird? I feel like I told you something last night, something important, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was... oh well it's probably nothing." she said smiling brightly. I had taken this into account. Memories of right before you fall asleep aren't easy to recollect unless you focus and even then it is very hazy. If you don't get the chance to store new information in your mind before you reach unconsciousness the signals are cut off and you don't get a clear picture.

"Yeah, I don't remember you telling me anything too crucial so just forget about it." I lied, keeping my body language relaxed like a pro. I had a thought cross my mind and quietly asked, "What are the others doing next week? I think I'd like to... hang out with them." ...while I still have the chance.


	17. Just forget me

**Just forget me...**

For the past week I had been spending a fair amount of time with each of the mane six. I knew that I was nearly out of time here and Discord would tell me that I was ready to make the journey home any day now. I felt like I needed to at least spend my last days doing everything I ever wanted to do since I had little time left to do it.

I started off by hanging out with Applejack the day after Twilight got over being sick. I thought that it was going to be a horrible day of excruciating physical labor, but it wasn't all that bad to tell you the truth. She gave me a tour of the place and pointed out how they were able to be efficient with as little effort as possible. The hindsight of it all was astounding. She explained that because of the layout of the orchard, it only needed two hard working ponies to manage the vast expanse of land. We did eventually get to buck some trees, but just for fun... though it actually humiliated me more than it made me happy. I was only able to knock two apples from the tree I bucked... Applejack managed to clean the tree with no more that what appeared to be a tap. Eventually we started to laugh at the absurd difference in our strength (or at least that's what I was laughing about), and I left to rest up for the next day.

After Applejack, I decided to see what Pinkie was up to, just because I'm a sucker for punishment. Pinkie suggested we play 'hide and seek'. For some odd reason the idea appealed to me... perhaps it was because hide and seek was my favourite childhood game and brought with it a feeling of nostalgia. Pinkie decided to hide first and declared that she was impossible to beat, to which I replied, "We'll just see about that".

I looked for her for twenty minutes or so before giving up. Thinking it was an opportune time to relax without her I lounged in one of Sugarcube Corners booths and opened a bag of chips. I nearly had a heart attack when Pinkie defied the laws of physics by bursting out of the bag yelling, "YOU FOUND ME!". The rest of the day was equally bizarre and I would rather not talk about it... but let me just say that Pinkies cutie mark should have been a question mark for 'how the hell did she do that?'.

The third day was filled with fashion and a white unicorn. Rarity and I debated over which colors looked well together. I kept telling her that it was a matter of looking on a color wheel and finding the polar opposite. She told me that it was far more complicated than that. 'Colors present a certain mood and show who you are inside. To say that it is as easy as calculating a pattern and there is always a specific order is ridiculous'... yeah right, tell the artist that he's wrong about color.

We did have a few things that we agreed upon though. We both thought that cruelness was not something that should bring pleasure, so we both despised bullies. We also thought that this one stallion that walked in totally looked like a girl. What was even more hilarious was the way he talked. She never admitted it, but when I did an impression of him after he left, she couldn't contain her giggles no matter how much she told me it wasn't funny. Rarity kept saying I was 'awful' but I could tell she was just embarrassed to laugh at another pony.

My fourth target was Gilda. She set up a arm wrestling stand and bet that she could take on any pony for two bits a pop. I was the referee and the one who casted a spell to make sure the table wouldn't break under Gilda's strength (since she had already broken three tables by the time I arrived). I really didn't even know why I had to referee the matches. It was obvious to everyone watching who won. Gilda was actually a good sport when it was over though and she seemed much happier. She would greet her opponent with a friendly handshake, then compliment their effort after she had won, and finish it up by wishing them luck next time. She was almost entirely different from the time we had faced off and I was proud of her.

After she was worn out, we took some time to walk around Ponyville and mess around. We stopped by a book store and checked out what they had. I didn't really go to the place myself but apparently Gilda did. The pony at the cash register even knew her personally. While there, the griffin got a couple beauty magazines... I was completely speechless. Who would have guessed she was into that sort of thing? As we went our separate ways Gilda told me to 'keep it real' and I told her 'as long as you don't turn into a sissy by reading those lame magazines'. She gave me a playful punch in the arm and I cringed, then she asked, "Who's the sissy now?"

The day after Gilda was a toss up between a gentle and calm pegasus versus a wild and out of control daredevil pegasus. Feeling like I needed some downtime to relax before handling the light blue thrill seeker, I decided to go with Fluttershy first. The day started out well enough and she was as kind as ever, but soon enough I saw Angel hit a carrot out of her mouth and I didn't take it too well.

"Hey, Angel... if I were you I would seriously think about the consequences of being so disrespectful to your caregiver. You may not realize this but she doesn't need to put up with your crap. If she wanted, she could easily give you the boot and toss you into the Everfree Forest, oh and believe me... there are some hungry creatures in there that would just _love_ to pick their teeth with your bones."

Angels eyes went wide and he hugged Fluttershys leg as if he would die should he let her go. I looked up at Fluttershy and gave a small smile. After overcoming the initial shock of her little bunny's fear induced action, she smiled back, knowing that I made him scared of me so he would rush to her for protection. I metaphorically pushed him further away from me and closer towards her in order to strengthen their bond. Besides the Angel situation, the day was rather peaceful. I took some time to lay back in a nice patch of grass and just breathe in the fresh air of the beautiful sunny day. That was something I hadn't done in a while and it was long overdue. After Fluttershy was done with the rest of the animals, she laid beside me and smiled as she looked up at the passing clouds.

One thing I noticed was that the clouds just looked like clouds. They didn't change shape and there was no way to mistake them for anything other than clouds. I asked what the deal with that was and Fluttershy had no clue what I was talking about. Apparently since pegasi were the ones who made the weather, the clouds never acted on their own and thus never resembled anything unless a pegasus intentionally decided to give the cloud form. I pitied the ponies of Equestria in a way, because they would never be able to revel in the simple act of pointing out shapes in the sky.

Then finally there was the day with Rainbow Dash. She thought the more the merrier so she invited Gilda, Pinkie, and five of her old flight school friends as well... lets just say by the end of the day I hurt in places I didn't know I had and leave it at that.

It was a good thing I was a quick healer because I thought that I would wrap things off with a picnic at the park. I knew my time left was short and I didn't want to waste a single minute, but that got the others to be suspicious of my actions. Throughout the day I could tell that they were trying to figure out why I was spending so much time with them when every other day I would go out of my way to avoid contact with them. They whispered back and forth in between conversations, thinking I wasn't able to realize what they were saying just by the looks they gave me. I continued to play it cool and do my best to keep them out of the know... they didn't need to worry about me as long as I was concerned.

Besides the looks and speculation I was receiving, everything seemed perfect. Perfect sky; perfect temperature; perfect light breeze; perfect food... perfect group of friends that I didn't belong to. I knew it was true. I didn't fit in with them, I wasn't as caring or cheerful. I wasn't even a pony. If you were to take a picture of us all and show it to a handful five-year olds then ask which one didn't belong... they would choose me every time. It didn't upset me that I wasn't one of them, it just gave me more reason to do what was right.

I hid my feelings with jokes and conversation, keeping my true thoughts in the shadows. Rainbow Dash and I got into a discussion about weather. For some odd reason she couldn't wrap her mind around how our weather systems worked no matter how many times I explained it.

"Okay so you're saying that clouds aren't like pillows and you cant touch them..."

"Yes!" I replied with an exasperated tone.

"Well then how do you get rid of them?" She asked for the third time.

My eye twitched and I felt like my head was going to explode from her sheer stupidity. "I ALREADY TOLD YOU! WE DON'T GET RID OF THEM! THEY DO IT ON THEIR OWN THROUGH RAIN!"

Rainbow Dash paused for a second and then asked, "But how do they know when to rain if you can't hit them?"

I flopped down face first into the ground and felt like crying from my frustration but knew that was never going to happen. I heard the others around me laughing at my reaction to Dash. After getting up and brushing myself off, Applejack walked over and patted me on the back saying, "It's alright sugarcube, ya can't always teach an old Rainbow new tricks."

"And what's that supposed to mean?! I can do any trick, any time, any where!" the pegasus shouted, offended by the very thought of being unable to perform a new trick.

"See that's ah'm talkin' about right there!" Applejack said jokingly as we all laughed.

The picnic eventually came to a close and we each went our separate ways. I didn't know exactly why, but I was relieved that Discord hadn't shown up to get me yet. It was weird. When I first found out that I was in the real land of Equestria, I had only the thought of returning home on my mind, but now roughly two months later... I wasn't sure I wanted to go back to my old life. I knew that my goal was still important and I wanted to save humanity from the downfall it was succumbing to, however for reasons I could not explain, I felt I belonged in Equestria as well. I shook the thought from my head as soon as it formed. I couldn't go soft when I was so close to achieving what I wanted most. I belonged on Earth, not in a cartoon land of talking horses. While hammering the fact that my appearance in this realm was a mistake, I noticed Twilight had stopped. I saw that she was looking straight ahead with her eyes practically bulging out of her head. I followed her gaze and saw what had caused the sudden shock... Discord was leaning against the front door of the library.

"Discord?! What are you doing here?!" Twilight shouted in complete surprise. She always spoke to him with a bitterness that told me she still did not trust the creature of chaos, and really who could blame her? He put her through hell and nearly destroyed every friendship she had. This made my next move all the more difficult.

"He's here to take me home..." I said solemnly.

Twilight shook her head and looked at me confused. "But... this is home, isn't it?"

Discord started to chuckle as I went inside. Twilight followed me inside as I removed a cushion hiding a small brown sack. I dropped it in front of her and a few gold coins fell out. I spent any spare time I had the previous week by drawing portraits of ponies in the streets for souvenirs. They gave me a few bits for my small service. All together I had saved up about thirty bits, and even though I believed that my stay versus the amount I had earned didn't equal up to a fair trade, it was the best I could do.

"Wh-what's this for?" Twilight asked showing a tinge of fear at this point.

"Rent... I feel that this is better than nothing, but if you still require more I could give you this since you seem to like it." I said staring at the floor between us, suspending my MP3 player in mid-air.

"Rent? Jason... what are you saying?" Twilight asked, so broken up that she reverted to using my true name.

"What he's saying is that he's leaving! And here I was thinking you were the _smart_ one of the bunch..." Discord remarked sardonically as he ran his talons claw along the bookshelves lining the walls.

Twilights gaze shifted to Discord and then back to me as if to ask if he was telling the truth. I said nothing in response, knowing full well that gave her all the information she needed. She pushed my MP3 player into my chest, showing she didn't want it. What she said next was the one thing I didn't want to hear from her.

"I... I'll miss you." she sniffled.

I wished that she hadn't said that. I didn't want her to miss me or care about me or even remember me. I knew what her feelings towards me were and I didn't want to put her in a position where she would feel any sadness after I was gone. I just wanted her and everyone else to pick up where they left off like I was never in Equestria to begin with. My presence had tampered with the balance of things and I had to make sure that nothing would change because of it. I had to give Twilight a reason to want me gone and be happier without me... in short, this was going to suck.

"Well I won't miss you!" I snapped with a vicious glare. "All you did was give me a place to stay, you never helped me with anything I wanted!"

Twilight gasped and took a step back before asking, "Wh-where did this all come from?!"

I couldn't back down now, so I got up in her face and growled, "It came from you're so-called 'friendship'! Friendship was fake in my world so it stands to reason that its fake here! Everyone desires to get something out of the person they help. I know you never cared, you only want me here because I''m 'the discovery of a lifetime'... and you want to be famous for it. Admit it, you are only looking out for yourself!"

"No I'm not! How could you say such a thing?! What's wrong with you?!" she cried in return. Discord was merely watching us as we began to go at it. He seemed to enjoy the show I was putting on, while I on the other hand only wished for it to end as fast as possible.

"There's nothing wrong with me!" I shouted back, "I'm just finally returning to the REAL world, away from all this fake bullcrap!"

"Real world?! Oh so this world isn't _REAL_ enough for you?!"

I managed to force a realistic fake laugh before countering her with a long hidden secret, "You think this world is real?! Haven't you ever wondered why I know so much about this place and the ponies in it when I am from another dimension entirely? The reason why I knew about where you lived, who you were, who your _friends_ were, and where I was is because this place is fake! Back on Earth we make up our own stories and forms of entertainment and this place is one of them! We made up this world and everyone in it as a way of keeping children entertained! This house? These books?! _YOU_!? NOTHING HERE REALLY EXISTS! YOU'RE FAKE! MAKE BELIEVE! A STUPID MADE UP CHARACTER FOR KIDS TO LAUGH AT!"

Tears started to well up in Twilights eyes."Y-You're lying..." She said shakily through clenched teeth. My words were not only taking a toll on her, but me as well. I felt sick to my stomach from acting so horrible to one so kind. However I had to push a little bit further. I had to break her bond with me completely. I just kept mentally telling myself, 'It's for her own good... it's for her own good'.

"I'm lying am I? Am I _really_?! Well then I guess you won't believe me when I say Celestia was going to let you get eaten by that dragon to save her own skin!" I shouted hoping to strike that all important final chord. Twilight's expression went dead. Her body posture went from 'about to charge' to 'slumped down and depressed'. If I didn't know any better I would have said her batteries died, but that was far from the case. She muttered something under her breath and I even though I knew the basic idea of what she said, I had to confirm it amongst us. "What's that? I'm sorry but I have a hard time hearing you since, well you know... you're an _imaginary horse_!"

"I HATE YOU! I WAS RIGHT FROM THE START! YOU ARE A JERK! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! JUST GET OUT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. If you ever wanted the definition of bittersweet... there you go. Now that I had her in the right state of mind all I had to do was lead her into saying one last thing, the point to the whole fight.

"So you want me out now?! You know what? Forget you!"

"NO, FORGET YOU!" Twilight shouted back at me, saying the exact words I wanted her to.

"Forget me?! Okay! Sure! JUST FORGET ME! FORGET ALL ABOUT ME! FORGET I EVEN EXISTED!" I turned and stomped towards the door as I said, "Come on Discord, were leaving."

After slamming the wooden door behind me, I let go of my pseudo-rage and relaxed, knowing full well that I had put on a believable show to fool Twilight. What I felt was strange to me. My stomach was in knots, there was a lump in my throat that made it hard to breathe steadily, and to my surprise, my heart felt constricted. I found this odd because scientifically speaking your heart couldn't feel. There were no nerve receptors in the heart and made it impossible to actually feel pain originate from the heart itself, that's why the first sign of a heart attack is your left arm going numb. So if that was the case what was I feeling? I would have said sadness but there was more to it than that.

I didn't care how I felt. I just kept walking with my gaze ahead of me. Like when I was in middle school everything seemed dull and muffled. I was like a zombie... not focused on anything really. I even bumped into someone along the way and ignored him completely. I didn't even bother to see who it was and kept moving forward towards the train. I was just ready to go home and go back to my old life, as empty and miserable as it was.

As we neared the station, Discord laughed heartily and patted me on the back. "That was the best performance that I've seen in eons! I think you might have went a little too far by telling her that Celestia wasn't going to save her back at the palace, but it was still a wonderful show nonetheless."

His praise went unthanked as we boarded the locomotive. I picked a seat near the door and put on my headphones. I switched my MP3 player to shuffle and let fate decide the song. I laughed at the irony of what it came up with. 'Hate Me' by Blue October... typical. If I actually believed in a God I would have thought that I was being sent a message, luckily I didn't. As the train began to make its departure I put my hoof on my forehead and forced down a gag from the ever growing lump in my throat. While the song played I had one last thought... 'What kind of monster am I?'.


	18. Irony of betrayal

**Irony of betrayal**

I had done it... I broke the strongest bond I had in this world. I was going to get my wish fulfilled and get back to my life where it mattered the most... so why did I feel like this? Why did I feel a tug on the beating organ in my chest? Why did I feel just as empty as when I was in middle school? What was it that made me wonder if I had done the right thing? I never told anyone that I was staying, so why did I feel like I lied to them?

My heart felt empty and my head felt full... never a good combination. I simply sat in my seat on the train, staring off into empty space while Discord kept himself amused. I wasn't in the mood to play games, but that didn't stop him. At one point I looked over to him and saw he was playing poker with himself... literally with himself. There were four identical copies of Discord seated at a table. They were all wearing different outfits that looked like they were out of an old western film. There was one extra clone that was dressed up as a woman with a fan and everything.

I just glared at the cartoony antics before me. After a few hands one of the Discords said that another was cheating and confronted him. I thought the whole thing was stupid since he was basically saying he was cheating against himself and it didn't matter because in the end the winner would still be him no matter how it played out. I turned away and continued to brood over my decision to shatter Twilight's feelings for me. However I quickly looked back when I heard a gunshot next to me.

The two Discords that were fighting dueled each other and the suspected cheater was shot. He wasn't dead though and the only thing that hit him was a cork, but he sure acted like he was dying. I merely grunted in annoyance and rolled my eyes. The Discord in the frilly pink dress snapped his fingers, making all the other versions of him vanish and walked up to me.

"You could at least crack a smile here! This is my 'B' material and you are brushing it off like its nothing!" He whined, upset at my disinterest.

"Well I've seen it all before, although I'll admit the replica trick you used was a new turn, but I digress... it's old used up jokes that weren't even new to my grandparents."

Discords expression dropped and he looked at a loss for words, but as you can probably guess he is never really speechless. "You're in a crabby mood all of a sudden. What eating you sport?" he asked as he donned a more fatherly looking set of clothes (oddly similar to the dad from Dexter's Lab) and sat next to me.

"I'm not sure if I did that right. It feels... wrong. I don't know how to explain it." I said as I continued staring at the floor as if it was the source of my troubles. "Another thing is that Twilight told me that she loved me a while back and I think I went too far. I didn't want to hurt her, I just wanted her to have a reason to forget me so my departure wouldn't make her sad, but I think I might have done something to make her feel worse than if I hadn't said anything..."

Discord placed his paw on my shoulder and said, "Don't worry about her, she's tough and can handle it. I know you did the right thing. The others will forget you on their own, but Twilight was a different matter and she would have remembered you throughout her life. You helped her by taking that burden off her shoulders. She may feel bad now but one day she will be better off."

For some unexplained reason, his little speech made me feel better. I knew Twilight was tough and a born leader, so there was no way what I did would scar her for life. For being the embodiment of chaos Discord had a very good head on his shoulders... at least it was on his shoulders most of the time.

* * *

Once we reached the Canterlot station, I got up to exit the train but Discord sat me back down and explained that we weren't going to the castle because it would cause Celestia to become suspicious and possibly stop us. Seeing as how I was still upset with Celestia's irresponsible behavior and disregard for the safety of her subjects, I trusted Discords decision to avoid her. About fifteen minutes after the train left Canterlot, I saw some ancient ruins at the top of a cliff. Discord told me that was our destination and wanted me to teleport to it.

I was almost positive that I wouldn't be able to make it but I tried anyway since Discord kept rushing me. Surprisingly I was not only able to do it, but I also didn't feel drained or dizzy like I normally would. All the time I had spent using the space distortion spell must have given me a gigantic reservoir of magical energy. Discord appeared by unzipping a tree and stepping out of it... show off.

The ruins were obviously from some old castle and they were actually in pretty good condition. The only signs of age seemed to be a few cracks here and there coupled with some vines and moss covering it in scattered patches.

"Ah... home sweet castle." Discord said as he walked in with his head pointed high and arms stretched out as if he were getting ready to hug the stone structure. From what I could tell this was his home at one point, and knowing his history, it must have been before he was imprisoned in stone the first time around. This was most likely the fortress he lived in when he ruled over everything before Celestia and Luna.

The inside was in even more pristine condition than the outside, the stone floors and walls were accented by what appeared to be marble columns. There was even a red carpet that extended down the hall. The whole thing seemed almost untouched by time and looked like a place where I would love to live. It was wickedly dark, yet majestic and immaculate. It almost reminded me of the castle from one of my favorite fanfictions, Past Sins.

The gloomy atmosphere felt perfect for what was about to happen. I suppose you could say I felt sad that I had to leave, but that wasn't quite all there was to it. I had bonded with Equestria on a real emotional level and experienced parts of myself that hadn't been present before I came. As much as I hated to admit it, my time here was like a dream come true and I would miss it.

Discord eventually led me to a room much like Celestia's throne room, but more ancient and sinister in appearance. He snapped his fingers and a table with a wine glass on it appeared in the middle of the dimly lit room.

"Now before we get started, you must be thirsty, am I right?" Discord asked as he walked up right in front of me.

"I guess so..." I responded quietly, shrugging slightly.

"Of course you are! Now I know you love this stuff called '_Code Red_', so I took it upon myself to create some." Discord said as he pulled a metal flask out of thin air. He continued to pour the contents into the wine glass. As he said, the liquid appeared to be Code Red Mountain Dew, both in color and scent. As I levitated the glass to me, I looked at my reflection. The one I saw staring back was somebody I didn't recognize.

The defeated and pathetic expression was something my previous self would have slapped me for. I would have told myself to suck it up and grow a pair but after all that I had been through, I didn't feel wrong for acting the way I did. It was kind of funny that the one place I thought would be paradise was the place to break me.

Tired of looking at myself, I tipped the glass back and drank the contents. Something about it felt a bit off though. Normally Code Red would give me a small boost of energy but this time it felt like I was being drained. My thoughts started to feel clouded and suddenly the glass fell to the floor, shattering into a million pieces. As soon as it broke Discord snapped his fingers and the table in front of me sprang to life, coiling around my body and pinned me to a wall. The draconequus let out a roar of wicked laughter. I tried to teleport but found that nothing happened.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!" I yelled, struggling against my restraints.

"I PLAYED YOU LIKE A HARP!" he said strumming empty air yet still producing the sound of a harp. "I couldn't have you try to stop me with your new power so I put a little something in your drink... Hydranious Floraitis, a.k.a. the power stealing rose! It blurs your thoughts and makes it impossible to perform magic!"

Out of all the questions I could have asked, only one could break through my shock and be heard. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, shooting him a glare that... well if looks could kill he would have been long gone by now.

Discord laughed at my confusion of his betrayal, "HA HA HA! Come on now, you're a clever lad! Surely you must have figured it out by now!"

I just growled and continued to give him a 'death stare'.

"Very well, since you are so curious, I'll tell you." He said, smirking as he leaned up against the wall I was stuck to. "I wanted a protégé... a pupil like Celestia. You see she was only able to stop me because of her star student, so one day I thought, 'why can't I have one as well'? I began my search for a promising individual... but I couldn't find one here in Equestria. The ponies here were too kind, too innocent... too perfect. I needed one who knew what chaos was and had a darkness that rivaled my own."

"I expanded my searches to other worlds and even other dimensions. That's when I came across your species. Oh the promise they showed! I couldn't believe such wicked beings existed, but none of them were right. I needed one who was smart, creative, and well... like me. I found hundreds of thousands that were creative, but they were not smart or not cruel or something else clashed to make them useless. I started to think it was a lost cause but that is when I came across you. You were smart, you thought outside the box, and you were exposed to the darkest parts of your kind! You were perfect... at least until I found out about you blasted moral code of yours!

"That one little tidbit made you unbreakable! Your strong will and ideals made you into the opposite of what I wanted. I was in need of one who could be molded and shaped in the image of chaos, not a brick wall of self-discipline and personal rules! I was about to give up on you, but the most wonderful idea popped into my head... I could change you the same way I changed Fluttershy and the others to be the opposite of themselves."

I felt my heart skip a beat when he revealed his intentions. He wanted to flip my personality! I knew that meant I would change from being anti-chaos to pro-chaos... he had planned this from the start. I could potentially be more evil than him... I knew that true chaos wasn't chocolate rain and ballerina buffalo. No, true chaos was destruction and disorganization of the natural order... something that was beyond Discord's personality to do. That was probably why he was so fixated on getting an apprentice from Earth, we knew how to devastate on a completely different level.

"So I was so bad I was perfect, huh? That's why you wanted me?" I said with a dark underlying rage.

"Well you weren't entirely perfect... even with your mind being superior to those around you, you still didn't have limitless knowledge like I wanted. That is where your cutie mark comes in!"

I looked down at the mysterious mark on my flank like I had done so many times before. "My cutie mark? What about it?"

"Ooh I'm proud of this one! You see cutie marks stand for the skill of the pony they belong to. For example if you have a cutie mark that stands for baking it gives you amazing unrivalled skills in baking! Some cutie marks are more specific and rule bound than others, while some are vague and give a broad spectrum of talents in a certain area..."

"Get on with it already!" I shouted, cutting Discord off.

"Okay, okay, keep your pants on... well if you had any that is! Ha ha ha ha! But now to the point... your cutie mark, that strange black mark on your rump, _riiight_ there... it stands for cognition!"

"What?" I said stunned by the simplicity of it.

"Cognition! Making you better than you could have ever imagined through imagination!" Discord said in a way that sounded like a commercial for some sort of pill. "Cognition is a group of mental processes that includes, but is not limited to, attention, memory, producing and understanding language, learning, problem solving and decision making. Please do not use cognition when you are mentally retarded, stupid, may become stupid, or an idiot. Side effects for cognition include: helping the spirit of chaos take over the known universe, becoming my pawn, and destroying all that you ever cared about! Cognition! Making you better than you could have ever imagined through imagination! Buy it today!"

"Wait so when I stopped that dragon... I was using my cutie mark?"

Discord smiled wickedly. "You better believe it! When you release your cognitive power you can learn complex things just by observation, you can remember everything you have ever learned or could learn by putting your collective knowledge together. And that's not all... the dragon was my little test to see what you could do. Remember how none of the guards knew about the dragon until it was pounding on the front gates? Didn't it strike you as odd that such a tight security system could miss something so gigantic? I was the one who summoned it, and then all I had to do was sit back and see what you could do.

"I must say, you surpassed even my expectations. I knew you were going to be a force to be reckoned with but I never would have guessed that you could give me a run for my money! Seeing you in action I knew that I needed to make sure you didn't turn on me, but I also saw how easily you tired and you needed to be trained. So I lied to you, promising you everything you wanted... and you fell for it!"

"What are you going to do with me?" I asked, knowing my time as myself was growing shorter by the second.

"Well first we are going to change this nauseatingly bright land into something a bit more chaotic, and then I thought we might want to get rid of the Elements one by one, and then-"

"Celestia won't let you get away with this..." I said in a deadly serious tone.

Discord looked at me and broke out laughing. I didn't know what was so funny until he told me, "You actually believe Celestia has any power herself?! That is priceless! For a brainiac, you sure are a blind fool! Celestia's power only resided in the Elements of Harmony, they were a part of her, and now that she no longer controls them she is only able to raise and lower the sun! I would bet even Rarity has more power than her! Why do you think she never fights for herself?! Fear!? We immortals don't have anything to fear! WE DON'T DIE! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

So that was why she didn't save Twilight... she couldn't. Her strength was taken from her along with the Elements. Now that I knew the truth I felt horrible for what I said... she must have been just as scared for Twilight's life as I was, if not more so. I always said that judging others without knowing them first was wrong, but I judged Celestia in an instant and didn't even think to find out more about her. I was being a hypocrite without even realizing it. A horrible, cruel, stupid, hypocrite... and all of this was my fault. Why did I trust Discord? He was the living, breathing, embodiment of chaos and I trusted him! Right now I felt like the dumbest person in the universe and I just gave up my struggle... I had lost. It wasn't like me to throw in the towel, but it also wasn't like me to keep struggling against the inevitable.

I closed my eyes and let Discord have his victory without a fight. I couldn't do anything in my position. I was physically weak just like on Earth so now without my magic to help me, I was powerless. Before I was turned, my mind strayed around like it often did, but unlike before when my thoughts would be seemingly random and unfocused, this time I only saw Twilight. All the things we went through together ran through my mind like a slideshow. It was as if my life was flashing before my eyes but it skipped over everything that didn't involve her. Right before Discord's claw touched my forehead, I recalled what Octavia had said on Hearts and Hooves Day...

~_There is a pony out there for everypony. Just give it time. Who knows? Maybe you have found that special somepony already and just don't know it yet._~

Suddenly it all made sense... and then just as quickly, I felt a pain resonate through my head. It felt like somebody had poured acid in my brain and then threw it in a blender. It hurt far worse than any headache I had ever had and I could feel my mentality changing. Everything I believed in was changing. Good became bad, bad became good... and chaos became perfection. I don't remember much after that. It was like a dream... hazy and fragmented. One thing stuck out however. I distinctly remember going to the edge of the cliff outside, throwing my '_useless_' glasses over the edge, and changing everything to what I believed was right... chaos, darkness, hate, and death. I created giant speakers and hooked them up to my MP3 player, then after choosing a song, I got to work. I remember that I felt everything was ugly and out of order so I was going to fix it. Everything else is too jumbled to understand, but one thing's for sure... I was bringing Equetria to it's doomsday.

[Please listen to 'Doomsday' by Nero to get the full effect]

Authors note: The next chapter will take on the perspective of another. You can probably already guess who. In any case, this is just the beginning of the end. As Vinyl would probably say, 'here comes the drop, get ready to have your mind blown'.** The poll to decide the fate of the fic is now closed.**


	19. Twilight's stand

**Twilight's stand**

"Forget me?! Okay! Sure! JUST FORGET ME! FORGET ALL ABOUT ME! FORGET I EVEN EXISTED!" Jason turned and stomped towards the door as he said, "Come on Discord, were leaving."

After slamming the door behind him, I just broke down. I cried like I never had before, even more than when I was a filly and lost Smarty Pants. He was always a bit grumpy and could sometimes be mean to me, but this... this was just not like him. I couldn't deny that I liked him more than a friend. He was pessimistic, yet within that he was sincere, profound, and wise. He spoke like a philosopher and talked about life in a way that made you think. His views on kindness and friendship were what I really loved about him. He would say things like 'kindness is a two way street, when you are kind to others it comes back to you' or 'true friends are those who never ask you to change because they love you as you are'. Through all the 'crap' as he put it, he was pure of spirit... but he never saw himself as anything but cruel. Now I was beginning to think he was right.

The way he shouted and said all those things. It was horrible. Not only did he claim that I wasn't real, he also said that the princess didn't care about me. That was what hurt the most. The way he said she would have not cared if I died. That wasn't true! I knew her far more than he did! What made him think he could say such things about her?! No, he had no right... but what if he was right? What if he was telling the truth? Sure he kept thing from me, but as far as I could tell he never lied before so what chance was there that he would lie to me now? And for that matter why would he have reason to lie?

While I was sitting in the middle of the room in thought, Spike returned from his walk with Vlad. Jason hadn't spent too much time with him since we returned from Canterlot. It didn't make sense before, but now I knew it was so Vlad wouldn't get attached to him any further than he already was. He left us both, but spared the bat heartache...

"Twilight I'm ba- oh not you too! It seems like everypony is upset today. First Fluttershy, then Dusk, and now you. All this sadness is starting to bum me out." Spike said as Vlad flew to my side in worry.

"I'm sorry Spike its just that... wait, did you say Dusk was sad?" I asked wiping my eyes.

"Yeah, it was weird. I bumped into him in the street and it was like he didn't even notice. He just kept walking. It was like he was a zombie pony or something. He didn't even call me 'mailbox', what's up with that?"

I was about to ask what he thought was the matter but I changed my mind. I didn't need to care about him anymore if he didn't care about me... right? No, I _am_ right! I know I am! He was leaving and it was completely fine with me. I don't want him and his bad attitude around anymore... but there was still the question, why was he sad? If he meant everything he said, why would he be upset? Who was the real Jason? The calm, thoughtful stallion... or the fierce, bitter one?

I went up to my room away from Spike to think some more... and cry. It was like every stallion who I started to have feelings for broke my heart or turned into some complete jerk. First it was Written Script, then the earth pony Noteworthy (mom and dad were not happy with that), after that it was Pokey Pierce, and now it was Jason. The strange thing was that out of all the ponies I dated, not a single one was like him. He didn't even try to be anything but himself, which was a brash, insolent, wisecracking, offensive stallion... and somehow that's what made him great.

He wasn't afraid of what anypony thought of him. He was brutally honest and sincere, no matter who was present and listening. He was also gentle and caring even if he didn't see it. He thought of others before himself and did what he thought was right, not what he was told. He put the life of another before his own and believed everypony deserved to live a full life that he constantly denied himself. He made you laugh even if he didn't mean to through smart aleck comments and witty retorts. He was like an odd combination of every element of harmony except one... the magic of friendship.

Jason was the loneliest pony I had ever seen. He told me that he only had two friends in his world, but it was even worse than that. His friends never saw him and didn't seem to care how he felt, so in reality he was all alone. I once felt sorry for him but now I wasn't sure I still did. How was it that he could make you feel sorry and upset at the same time?

At that moment, something grabbed my attention. It was the painting he made. I pulled it from the wall above my bed and looked at it. The picture gave me mixed feelings of joy and sorrow. He said he didn't make it for me, but that wasn't the point. The point was he was thinking of me while he made it and that made me smile.

"You like him, don't you?"

I looked over to see Spike. I didn't know how long he had been watching and was about to scold him for spying but he was worried about me and that was reason enough to check on me.

"I thought I did..." I responded sadly.

"Don't give me that. Ponies say the crush I have on Rarity is obvious, but I've got nothing on you two. As much as I wish it wasn't true, you're in love with him. I know the signs and you guys are totally head over hoof for each other."

"He does not like me the same way... he made that _perfectly_ clear earlier." I said solemnly. Spike was confused and asked what happened. I told him all about how Jason snapped and started yelling, what he said... including how we were 'fake' and Celestia wasn't the kind protector we all believed her to be. Spike was upset at some of it but not anywhere near like I had been. We sat in silence for a short time after I was done.

Suddenly Spike spoke up and quietly said, "Twilight... I don't think he meant it. I think he was trying to make you happy."

"HOW?! By saying I was only keeping him around for selfish purposes and friendship didn't exist?! By saying I didn't exist?! How was what he said supposed to make me happy!?" I shouted with new tears welling up in my eyes.

"By keeping you away. Hasn't that always been his reason? You told me yourself that he told you to forget him, but last week he told me something while you were sick. I thought it was weird at the time but he said he 'didn't know if he would be the same guy next week'. I think he knew that this was coming and he didn't want you to be sad when he left."

Spike was growing up faster than I thought. For him to figure out what was right in front of me before I could told me he was no longer that baby dragon I hatched all those years ago. I had no doubt he was right. I couldn't get him out of my head... I was in love. I gave Spike a hug and began to head downstairs.

"Where are you going?" he asked looking down at me from the staircase.

I smiled and chipperly replied, "I'm going to stop him before its too late! You were absolutely right Spike and I can't let him leave now. However I will need a little help convincing him to stay... Vlad!"

The bat clinging to the ceiling overheard everything that was said and quickly flew down to thank me with a series of screeches and squeaks. I thought that if I wasn't enough to change his mind about staying then he wouldn't be able to resist Vlad with his trademark pout. As strange as it was, his beady black eyes and fangs that would protrude slightly from his mouth was too cute when he would look up at you with that quivering bottom lip. We were the two who Jason was most attached to, so it stood to reason that this was our best shot. After Vlad situated himself on my back, I opened the front door to leave... but I was greeted by a familiar bright light.

Standing before me was Princess Celestia. She never came without notice unless something was wrong and I could tell that something was indeed very wrong. Her grim expression and breathlessness told me that disaster had struck. I hadn't seen her this frightened since... well, ever.

"Princess?! What are you doing here?! Has something happened?" I asked nervously, backing up to let her inside.

Entering the library, she replied, "It's Discord. He's up to his old tricks again... and this time he has help."

I gasped and asked, "Help?! From who?! Is it Queen Chrysalis!? Or King Sombra!?"

Celestia sighed and quietly said, "...No... it's Dusk. He has started to corrupt the land near Canterlot. He is using some form of chaotic magic to spread anger and darkness. There are few ponies who can resist the evil force and they are cruelly lashing out at one another. Right now it is only effecting the ponies in Canterlot, but I fear if it keeps spreading, we won't be able to stop it."

I couldn't believe my ears. Jason would never do something like that! The princess must have been joking.

I laughed half heartedly. "That's funny Princess, what's really going on?"

"I am not kidding, Twilight... we need to gather the elements to-"

"I AM NOT GOING TO USE THE ELEMENTS AGAINST MY FRIEND!" I snapped suddenly, surprising even myself. Princess Celestia and I were struck silent for a time because of my outburst. I had never yelled at her like that. The quiet gave me time to think and I remembered that there were a few things I wanted to ask her.

"Princess...?" I said quietly.

"Yes?"

"Are we real?"

Celestia jerked her head back and blinked a few times in confusion before asking, "Whatever makes you say that?"

"Before Jason left, he said we weren't real. He said that we were just something humans made up." I said, my gaze facing down in sadness.

"Oh... I am sorry to say this, but in his world, we are just make believe..."

My heart sank. Did this mean that our lives meant nothing? That we were only here because we were some kind of children's entertainment? Before I could start spiralling into depression, Princess Celestia pulled me out of the dark place in my mind.

"However, in our world he is the one that is fake. In the Crystal Empire Library, there is a book... a book about humans. It is a fictional tale of strange creatures and a strange dangerous world. This is how things work. Whatever is made up or fantasized is real in another plane of existence. Do you remember that little book you wrote about that living star race?"

I nodded as I began to understand what she was telling me.

"That civilization of living stars exists. You may never see them but they are out there and you imagined them because their reality had a connection with your heart. Ideas of fantasy are the endless possibilities of everything reaching out to you through the thin layer of existence."

What she told me left me speechless. The wisdom she held was astonishing. To think that every story was based on truth whether it was fiction or not, it was just mind-blowing. Everything existed, yet it only existed because we imagined it and it imagined us! My head was spinning from the grandeur of it all, but I still had one more question.

"Okay, there is one more thing I need to know..." I said looking up at my mentor with a soulful, yet serious stare. "Were you going to let the dragon back at the palace eat me? Were you going to just let me die?"

All I got in return was a pained look. I couldn't believe it was true. I wanted to scream just to let out some of my pain. The Princess was like a mother to me for so many years that it seemed impossible, however I found out what she was really like and I felt betrayed. My eyes started to tear up yet again, but I gritted my teeth and bursted out the door running as fast as I could, trying desperately to run from my sorrow. Celestia called out for me but I didn't stop, I just kept running. I couldn't let her see me cry and I couldn't let her manipulate me into hurting Jason with the Elements of Harmony.

I galloped all the way to the edge of town and then I saw it... the dark clouds and ravaged land that seemed to be spreading near Canterlot. Looking upon it sent a chill down my spine. I could barely see it from this far away but it was by far the most terrifying thing I had ever witnessed.

As I shook from the fear of the calamitous scene, Celestia spoke and being unaware that she had already caught up startled me for a moment. "Now do you see why you must stop this?"

I thought for a few second and shaking my head, I replied, "No... I don't see why. I don't understand why we have to save Equestria time after time. I didn't notice until Jason and I spoke one day about it, but you have never taken part in saving your own kingdom, and... and... I'M TIRED OF IT! Why does it come down to us?! I know we are the Elements of Harmony, but that doesn't make it right for you to sit back and do nothing!"

Celestias expression softened and she turned away as if in shame.

"I knew this day would come", she said, her voice barely over a whisper. "I just wish it had come at a better time. I am truly sorry for all I have put you through my faithful student, but I had no choice. I... I no longer have the power to aid in the bigger tasks I give to you. Both my and Luna's power came from the Elements. When I sealed Nightmare Moon away, it took a sacrifice... I had to relinquish ownership of the Elements and break our connection with them.

"Nearly one thousand years later, I saw signs of great and terrible forces coming to power. At the same time I saw something that signalled the coming of the six bearers of harmony. I am not proud of what I have set upon the shoulders of you and your friends, and I pray that you can forgive me for throwing you all into the middle of this..."

I was stunned. The thought of my great and powerful teacher being reduced to needing my help in order to keep everypony safe was unbelievable to say the least. I always saw her as this ultimate power that ruled over all with her limitless ability and magic, but now she seemed so helpless and scared. I was scared too, but not for myself or Equestria. I was scared for her. I had no idea how awful it must of felt to put your hope in everypony else when disaster struck. To keep faith in the bleakest situations was commendable... however it didn't excuse the fact that she had hid all this from me for who knows how long. I felt sympathy, yet at the same time betrayal. I trusted the princess with my life but she didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. However that was something that could be discussed at a later time, right now I needed to figure out what to do.

Discord was no doubt at the bottom of everything, and knowing him, he had more than just one trick up his sleeve. Somehow Jason was involved but I was sure it wasn't as black and white as Celestia said. It may have seemed like I wasn't doing much over the past two months but I was actually building up a personality chart of him since day one. I now had a fairly good understanding how he worked, and although he was very complex and seemed to contradict himself at times, I knew that he would never purposely harm another without very good reason. He never hurt anypony except that one thief in the street that one time. Gilda was tricked into hurting herself and the dragon at the palace was just put to sleep.

Something about this whole mess smelled fishy. I was never going to stop anything if I just thought about it so I started walking.

"Where are you going?" Celestia asked, coming up beside me.

"I am going to fix everything..." I replied.

"But what of the other Elements? Don't tell me that you are going alone!"

"I am... I want to show you what a single pony can do with just a little bit of determination. Plus, I don't like endangering those I care about... do you?" I asked turning around to face her with a glare. She momentarily flinched and then sighed.

"No... you are right. I shouldn't put the lives of others on the line so carelessly. You are shaping out to be a more benevolent leader than even I." The princess said, showing her motherly smile as she often did when she was proud. "But do you think it is wise to bring him along if it is so dangerous?"

My eyes followed to where her hoof was pointing on my back. I completely forgot about Vlad. He was riding along with me the whole time, and by the looks of it he was still exhausted from clinging to me for his dear life while I was galloping at top speed here. I blushed and levitated his limp panting body over to Celestia.

"He doesn't seem to have much endurance." Celestia said looking at the poor thing as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Blame Jason. He feeds him way too much junk food." I said, trying to keep my aggravation from showing. I turned once again towards my destination but before I could get going, I was interrupted.

"Before you leave, can you enlighten me on something? I am curious as to why you still refer to him by his previous name."

Without turning to face her, I took a deep breath, lifted my head to feel the breeze in my face, and said, "Its not who he is, its who I wanted him to be. I wanted to have a nice stallion to be there for me and tell me I was everything to him. Somepony with a name that accented mine and loved me so much I would forget all about my faults, but that's not love..."

Celestia chuckled lightly, "So that's why you don't want to hurt him... I understand now. You have been learning of something far more advanced than magic without my knowledge and I am glad you have. You will need it's power just to survive this. I suppose all I can say at this point is good luck and be careful. Oh and one more thing..."

I groaned, getting tired of waiting around, and looked back at her, "What now?"

* * *

Before I could even blink I was teleported to the bottom of a rather steep cliff near what seemed to be the epicentre of the dark magic that was changing everything. I realized that it must have been Princess Celestia who got me here. I was gratefull that I didn't have to run the whole way or waste magic in teleporting myself, especially since it was going to take everything I had to stop Discord alone.

I took a few steps back to take in the immensity of the cliff face, but as I did, I stepped on something. I looked at my back hoof and took hold of what I had nearly broke. As I looked at it, my heart was gripped with fear and uncertainty. It was Jason's glasses! They were bent from where I had stepped on them, but they were indeed his. I never saw him go anywhere without them, so what were they doing out here, discarded like garbage? My mind instantly went to the worst case scenario, however I had learned over time that doing that was the worst thing I could do and snapped myself out of it.

"He's fine! Nothing can stop him! There is nothing to worry about!" I shouted to myself, but convincing nopony. Once again I looked up the sheer rock face and gulped. 'Twilight, what have you gotten yourself into this time?' I thought looking at what appeared to be rips in the sky with red lightning shooting out. Black spikes with red thorns were scattered everywhere. It looked like they just bursted through the ground and served no purpose other than looking scary, but something told me they were actually what was draining the land of it's life.

I shook my head and reminded myself that I wasn't here to look at the (dreadful) scenery. I used a spell that I came up with while studying spiders. It was able to give my hooves a special electrical charge to grip onto surfaces on a molecular level. Spiders used many microscopic hairs to create something like a static charge that allowed them to stick to anything, I just changed it so I put out the same effect.

* * *

It took a while but I eventually made it to the top and released the spell. I found what looked like a castle at the top of the cliff, but what got me was that it used to be in ruins. Now it appeared to be brand new with a pair of wooden double doors and everything. I only came to this place once as a filly during a field trip but I know it wasn't in this good condition. The castle was supposed to be over a thousand years old, and even if they tried to keep it maintained, time wears down all things. This had Discord written all over it... not literally but you know what I mean.

I slowly pushed open the doors and peered inside expecting something dramatic like a monster jumping out of the shadows to attack me or maybe an explosion or something. I waited for something to happen for a few moments but decided I should at least go inside before letting my fears get the best of me.

As I walked down the dark hall of the castle, something struck me as a bit odd... there were no turns. I was walking straight but it seemed like I was going in circles. I began to quicken my pace, hoping that I would get somewhere. A few minutes went by and I began to panic, increasing my speed yet again to a gallop. I ran and ran but I just kept seeing the same thing... endless hallway with columns on both sides of me.

At that moment I stopped abruptly. I looked at one of the marble columns and walked towards it. I turned and gave it a quick buck. A crack appeared on the on it and I was satisfied. I continued to run and found that I passed the same cracked pillar every two minutes and thirty-four seconds. I put my average running speed into account and discovered that the hallway was about 1,868 feet long before it looped.

I went back and sure enough, I came to the entrance rather quickly. I started walking back inside and counted my steps. I calculated my distance per step and stopped right before I got to the point where it would place me back at the beginning. I stretched out a hoof and it vanished as though it was immersed in some invisible liquid. It was a portal spell and now that I found it I could take it down. However, before I could break it, it started to fade by itself.

Frustrated by the trickery, I shouted. "I don't know what you are planning Discord, but when I get a hold of you I will-!"

I stopped my threat as I began to hear laughter... eerie, psychotic, and demented laughter. It wasn't Discord's laughter and it gave me chills. It seemed to move around me, yet no matter where I looked, I saw nothing. Then after I thought it couldn't get more creepy, I heard his voice... Jason's voice. He started singing a song by the tune of 'pop goes the weasel''... but with different words.

"All around the castle, Twilight looked for Jason, but he is no longer sane, YOU CAME FOR NOTHING! HA HA HA HA HA!"

Afraid out of my mind, I began to back up, but I bumped into something... or I guess you could say somepony.

"Can I kill her now Master Discord?!"

Walking out behind Jason was Discord."Please be more patient my apprentice, we will get to that in due time. I'm sorry about his behavior but when you are raising the new embodiment of chaos, what can you do?", He said shrugging.

* * *

Authors Note:

Sorry for the long wait. It took some time to get back on my feet from a few jerks hating on my art (it's a long story and I don't want to get into it). I tried to make this chapter a little longer to make up for the extra time off I had. In other news, I may be having some stuff to do over the next couple of weeks so it's probably going to be a while for the next chapter as well... sorry about that but there isn't much I can do.

(P.S. I sure hope you like where I'm going with this... because I'm not changing it!)


	20. In a perfect world

**In A Perfect World...**

The being before me was giggling maniacally. At first glance it appeared to be Jason... but I knew it wasn't. This... this _thing_ was out of his mind. He reminded me of myself when I had lost my grip on reality shortly after resealing Discord in stone. His smile was strained and creepy. Head tilted to the side as his eye and ear twitched. But out of all the things that frightened me, nothing came close to the look in his eyes. They were wide open, which I had never seen before from Jason, however the irises were small and focused solely on me. Everything in his appearance gave off the vibe of a psychopath bent on murder.

Only one name came to mind when I saw him... _Dusk_. He was the dark horrifying side of Jason that I only had a few small glimpses at. He was hatred, despair, sorrow, and every other dark emotion that Jason had always kept locked in his heart behind a mask of pure happiness that he never allowed himself to feel. It was like I could tell everything about him just by feeling the foul aura he gave off.

"Takes your breath away, doesn't he?" Discord said, looking at Dusk as I did and wrapping his arm around me as if he was proud of what he made.

I broke myself from his embrace then shouted in anger, "What did you do to him?! THIS IS NOT JASON!"

Discord's look of shock from my outrage slid into a smug smile, "Don't you remember? This is what I did to all your little friends. Speaking of which, where are they? I can't wait to see the looks on their faces!"

"They aren't coming... I am going to save Jason because he saved me." I said quietly, clenching my teeth. I was actually glad I didn't bring everypony along now. Discords betrayal would have broke Fluttershy's heart... and I think he was counting on that.

"Oh sweet chaos... YOU ARE ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM! That is just too rich! I must say Twilight Sparkle, I was not expecting you to make it this easy for me. All I needed was for him to get rid of one Element so I would finally be free. I WAS going to try to separate you all with some chaotic tricks to make it easier for him, but you coming alone saved me the trouble!" Discord then vanished and reappeared right in front of me to kiss me right on the lips. "THANK YOU, YOU STUPID LOVE SICK UNICORN! YOU JUST GAVE ME EQUESTRIA ON A SILVER PLATTER!"

I spat and vigorously rubbed my lips to get rid of whatever remained from the kiss.

"Ta-ta for... well, forever I suppose! Ha ha ha! Okay... _now_ you can kill her."

Discord snapped his fingers and vanished, leaving us to whatever fate had in store. The absolute terror I felt from before returned as I found myself with the mentally unstable stallion who I once cared for so deeply. I thought it was horrible to see him in such a state and only want to run. I was torn between saving him and saving myself. At this point I didn't even know if he could be saved.

Sure with Applejack, Pinkie, and the others, I could use the element they represented and our bond to destroy the spell that took hold of them... but how could I do the same for somepony who had no element or a strong bond with anything? I knew from experience that Jason's mind was a labyrinth that even I didn't dare to tread. I wasn't going to attempt something that had such a low chance at success, but that left the question; what was I going to do?

My focus shifted away from my racing thoughts when Dusk started to move forward. His mad smile never left his face as he spoke.

"I have great plans for this world! You would just love it... that is if you were going to be alive for it. You've never had a _world_ war before, have you? I thought that was a shame so I started to spread a mind altering energy wave! Once it has covered the planet, every living creature will be filled with so much anger and aggression that they will all fight to... the... DEATH! Hehehehe! It's funny because that's what we are about to do! ISN'T IT WONDERFUL HOW THINGS JUST WORK OUT THAT WAY?!"

It was disturbing hearing him talk this way. His intelligence hadn't dwindled, but he was using his brilliance to start war! He was pure evil at this point, and I was no longer just scared of him... I was scared of what I might end up doing to prevent the twisted plan he came up with. As he approached me I got ready and teleported away to what I thought was a safe distance. I was positioned to be looking at him, but to my surprise he was gone. I blinked a few times and nervously looked to my left and right.

"Looking for someone?" I heard him whisper... into my ear! He teleported behind me! I jumped and quickly backed away from him, making sure he never left my sight. He knew exactly where I planned to teleport before I had even done so! Something about what he was doing didn't seem right. I knew he was smart and powerful but this took the cake! He was spreading his influence across not just Equestria, but all of Equus if I understood him correctly. Not only that but he was able to predict my moves and mimic them without even showing any effort.

To find out if he was truly more skilled than before I shifted the property of gravitational pull around me and fell to the ceiling. What he did next threw me for a loop. He pushed himself up and fell on his back, but when he hit the floor, he didn't stop! he fell through it and disappeared. After a few brief moments, he re-emerged in front of me with his hooves on the ceiling. He shifted his atomic structure so that he could phase through the solid floor and then he came out after he changed the effect gravity had on him! I couldn't even phase through things yet! That was highly advanced magic that was only accessible to the most powerful unicorns in existence!

"You look surprised! Let me explain. My cutie mark gives me nearly unlimited knowledge, and unbeknownst to you, I was training with microscopic black hole spells to increase my power! I was going to use my new strength to go home, but what fun would that be?! Here the saying 'knowledge is power' is actually true, and that makes me a god!" He shouted, laughing yet again.

"You don't have to do this! You can stop and come back home with me! Please..." I begged him, hoping this was all just a bad dream as I felt my eyes begin to water. What he did next was... unexpected to say the least. He ran up, threw his hooves around me, and began to waltz.

"I knew you still loved me! Oh this is great! Now we can be together forever and rule over everything in the new world order... just me and my Queen!" He quickly threw me to the floor (or ceiling if you want to be technical about it) and laughed. "HA! I bet you actually believed me! Too bad Master Discord ordered me against loving you back or I might have considered it. Well orders are orders, goodbye!"

I was barely able to put up a magnetic energy field in time to deflect his blast. He was now shooting at me with lasers. I knew that basic laser spells were just focused radiation beams so putting up a magnetic shield like the natural energy field that protects our planet from the suns most intense rays was the best defence. However, I knew that he would not stop at lasers alone and he would quickly find a way around my strategy. I had to stay three steps ahead of him. It was like when we played chess a few weeks ago... but this time the stakes were our lives.

He started charging his magic again, so I flipped and readjusted the pull of gravity again in order to get some distance. Dusk countered by leaping through the air, bouncing off of nothing and changing direction so fast that it was hard to keep up. I knew he was using a technique of shifting spatial force and pull to give him access to such maneuvers. It was yet another advanced spell that only the best and most talented unicorns could perform. Lucky for me, I was quite talented myself and had a wide selection of spells to attack as well as defend.

He flew towards me with his hooves stuck out. Before he struck I turned away and got ready to buck. When he got close, we clashed. I estimated correctly and our power output was even, cancelling out both attacks in a stalemate. He may not have believed I was as smart as him, but I could certainly hold my own if I had to. Before he was able to get away, I modified his excess kinetic energy to smash him against the ground. He got up and rubbed his foreleg across the blood that began to drip from his lower lip. He looked at it and laughed in manic delight.

"FINALLY! I was afraid that this was going to be boring! Now that you're fighting back, the REAL fun can begin!" He said before erratically flailing about his legs. No, it wasn't erratic... it was precise and focused strikes, but they were seemingly aimed at nothing. His movements reminded me of a group of fighters that once came to Canterlot when I was still a little filly. They were from a far off place that trained in martial arts and mind over matter. I noticed that his speed was increasing and coming to a climax of whirling fury. I thought he was just being random until I suddenly remembered what happened at the end of the martial arts performance... the unicorns of the group used the built up energy that came from the fighters to shoot out an invisible wave of intense magic. He was charging his attack!

When he released the torrent of magic, it kicked up dust from the floor out of sheer power alone. I managed to use that to teleport away in time behind a pillar. If he was going to be attacking like this I was going to need to make a plan.

"Twilight... Come out, come out wherever you are! We need to finish our first game before we start a new one! Hehehe..."

I blocked out his voice and focused on what I could do so I could use what I had to stop him and Discord. As he got closer and closer, I felt that my options became fewer and fewer. I knew one thing I could do that would give me an advantage but I was too afraid to use it. I forbid myself from using it after I heard of the potential long term after effects it could have. Celestia told me that if I were to use it again, I might not be able to control the power and harm myself or even my friends.

The spell I speak of is not even a spell as much as a way of thought really, but it can consume you if you aren't careful. It was the dark magic that I learned to use while trying to stop King Sombra. The thing was that if you filled your heart with hate and malevolence you could tap into massive reserves of magical energy and perform powerful spells that weren't available otherwise... but if you use it too much you can be corrupted and turn out like Sombra. It's like you let it use you as much as you use it but the more you give, the stronger it gets until you are devoured completely and only it remains. The power can even twist your mind and make it difficult to see a reason for changing back.

I heard his steps only a few feet away now. He was so close I could hear his breathing... and I could also hear my own rapidly beating heart beat. I was scared. More scared than I ever had been before. Most of the time I thought I was brave, but that amounts to nothing when you believe you are going to die.

Suddenly, the clopping of his hooves on the floor stopped and I could no longer hear him. I slowly peeked around the pillar and found that he was indeed gone. I let out a sigh of relief, thinking I was safe. however, I was far from it...

"Oh Twilight. Peek-a-boo..." I heard coming from the floor right beneath me. I looked down to see a crease in the stone, then it opened to reveal an eye. "_EYE_ see you! HA HA HA HA!"

Startled out of my wits I jumped at least eight feet away, out into the middle of the hall. I could feel myself trembling from the fear induced adrenaline. As I focused on calming my nerves from the shock, Dusk rose out of the ground.

"What's the matter?! Don't you like puns!?"

After that last trick I knew what I had to do. I couldn't let him sneak up on me like that without having some way to protect myself. I needed power... even if it came from the darkest part of the heart. I knew I made an agreement with the princess not to use dark magic, but it was either this or no chance to come out victorious at all.

I began to focus my magic, but unlike normal, I forced myself to feel pure hate. Its hard to describe how it's done, though I will say the sensation you get is euphoric. It feels like you have the entire world at your disposal and that feels fantastic. Another thing about it is you don't feel usual aches and pains like normal. Instead pain and anything that may normally feel bad is pleasurable. A cut would be like a tickle and a broken rib would be like a hug. That's what makes it so addicting... you initially feel great and the more you get hurt the better it gets so it makes finding a reason to go back to pain difficult.

After a few moments I could feel it changing my magic as well as my body. The dark energy coursed through me like the ocean current, churning and thrashing about... dying to free itself and unleash mayhem. I wasn't going to let it though. I was the one in control and I was going to do my best to make sure it stayed that way. There was too much on the line for me to go mad with power now.

"Ooh! Lucky me! Now I get the chance to beat that pretty green out of your eyes too?! And it's not even my birthday!" Dusk shouted in glee. I didn't want to hurt him, but I had to in order to save Equestria (pardon my language, but I just realized that being the Element of Magic sucks).

He went on the offensive first by materializing ice and firing it at me. We countered each other with various elements for a while after that. First I melted the ice with fire, then he put out the fire with the leftover water, then I mixed dirt into the water to make mud, then he fossilized the mud into stone, etcetera.

Somewhere along the line I managed to liquefy the stone under his hoof without him noticing which tripped him. I charged in to knock him out while I had the chance, however he forced me up to the ceiling and I smashed into it rather hard. Thankfully, like I said earlier, while using dark magic, you don't feel pain. But don't think I wasn't upset with his attack. Oh no, I was furious (probably because of the side effects of the dark magic more than anything).

To get revenge I sent out intense focused sound vibrations. They were so powerful that they acted like miniature invisible razors. I thought that he would possibly bleed enough from the multiple cuts that he might pass out from blood loss, but the only thing that seemed to be damaged was his jacket. I figured that he changed his cellular structure to make his skin impervious to the onslaught of sound.

Undeterred by my attempt to hurt him, Dusk began to free himself from the hardened stone around his back left hoof. He tore from the ground like it was cardboard, then set his eyes on me. Desperate to keep the battle in my favor I tried everything I could, unleashing every spell I could think of at the time. First I put up several layers of Shining Armor's trademark shield. They were ripped apart instantly... so I tried a different approach.

I decided to increase the density of his bones and weigh him down. When I finished casting the spell, he should have weighed the equivalent of 2,000 pounds, but he didn't stop walking. He wasn't phased in the slightest. The increase in weight meant nothing because he could undo what I set in place. I moved on to a more drastic spell.

I quickly oxygenated the air and then put it under a lot of pressure really fast to ignite it and cause an explosion. I learned that from this one thing called a fire syringe. Compressing air fast enough makes the particles to collide and under the right conditions, the heat from the colliding air particles causes ignition. I thought that I had brought him to a stop and began to relax but before I could even say 'it's over', he emerged from the fire unscathed and grinning. He was like a demon straight from Tartarus! I began to panic and started telekinetically pushing him back as hard as I could, though it had little effect from him pushing in return. The pressure of our magic clashing made visible ripples in the air.

I couldn't keep him from walking right up to me. I had used the best spells in my arsenal and he brushed them off without so much as flinching! I even resorted to dark magic and it still wasn't enough! As he neared me, he began to speak. He talked calmly at first but his volume escalated as he started to show his outrage at me.

"Is this really all you have to offer, Twilight? You should at least have something creative up your sleeve! Tear me apart with telekinesis! Teleport me to the bottom of the ocean! Conjure a sword to cut my heart out! WHY CAN'T YOU HURT ME?!"

That was a very good question... why couldn't I hurt him? I had the answer, but it was more for Jason than it was for Dusk. Actually it was entirely for Jason and Dusk didn't come into play at all, though they were essentially the same being. Looking into his crazed eyes I knew I couldn't continue with this.

"I... I don't want to do this anymore. Let's just stop this... I don't want to fight you. Even though you aren't the same as before, I can't hurt you. I won't...", I said as I slowly let go of my contained hate, releasing the dark magic. The dark essence fled from my eyes and it felt like I was crying though I wasn't... yet. I didn't even blink as a strong wave of energy rushed past my face barely missing me.

"YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP NOW! THE BATTLE MUST CONTINUE!" He yelled in a manner that sounded as if he was offended by my unwillingness to fight. I just shook my head. I then felt his magic wrap around my neck and I was lifted into the air. "If you want to end this, I'll help you!"

He swung me around and slammed me into nearly everything; the walls; the floor; the ceiling; pillars... it's safe to say I screamed in pain more than once. I went completely limp after the first three hits like I was just a bigger version of Smarty Pants. The more he beat me against the stone and marble surroundings, the sleepier I felt. I could tell that he was beating the very life from my body and I could die from this. I remembered back to when I was sick and Jason told me what it felt like to be at the brink of death... it didn't sound so bad actually. It sounded... peaceful.

While I was thinking back to that night I suddenly remembered something. It was something I had said to him. I told him I loved him! I confessed my feelings to him! It all came back to me... but he knew the whole time. He knew how I felt and tried to hide that he knew. Why would he do that? Was it because he didn't like me? Was it because he thought it wouldn't work between us? Or was it because he loved me too and was afraid to tell me?

After what seemed like an hour of being thrown into hard surfaces, he finally dropped me. I don't know if its possible but it was like he broke my sensation to pain because I didn't hurt as I laid motionless on the floor. He wasn't kidding when he said you felt like every bit of energy was drained from you. As for it being so excruciating that I wanted to die, I didn't experience anything like that. I just felt like dying wouldn't be so bad. However Dusk wasn't done with me quite yet.

My ribs cracked and the lost sensation of pain came rushing back with a vengeance as he pressed his hooves down on my chest. He looked down at me, grinning ear to ear as he giggled at my cries of agony.

"Where are your precious friends now?! How is friendship going to help you survive this?! Short answer; IT WON'T! Now give me a beautiful plea for mercy! GO AHEAD!" He yelled, pressing down slightly harder.

I knew that this was my last chance to say what needed to be said. I guessed that I would only be able to get out a few words based on how weak I felt. The words probably weren't the most eloquent or carefully chosen, but it was all I could think of at the time.

"I... still... love you." I managed to say in a strained whisper. I heard him laugh madly in response. My eyelids grew heavy and began to shut as the world blurred. The last thing I remember was hearing him say something that my barely conscious ears could no longer pick up, so it sounded like he was yelling something while I was underwater. Then I felt something wet hit my cheek and after that... darkness.

Twisted images flashed before my eyes. They were fragments of what I was doing while still under the influence of Discord. I couldn't piece together much but what I did gather was that I was fighting with Twilight, and it hurts to say... I was winning. I knew it wasn't right and I wanted to stop but it was almost like the more I fought against it the stronger the urge to kill her became. When everything about you is changed to be the opposite, what normally would make you desire to stop only causes you to crave it more, if that makes sense.

Somewhere along in the fight, Twilight changed and became that weird dark version of her that showed up in the second episode of season three. I had mixed feelings about her transformation. I knew that it would give her new powers, but I didn't know what cost it came at or if it was even enough.

At first I thought that she would have been able to kill me if she only stopped holding back and I remember that my message about it did come out, though it was much more of a taunt than helpful advice. What she did next was the not what I wanted. She gave up here more powerful form and refused to run. Inside I was screaming for her to flee, but what came from my lips was me yelling for her to keep fighting. I tried ordering my body to back off, but instead I picked up Twilight and pounded her into the floor over and over. I was forced to witness everything because my cutie mark prevented me from forgetting anything, even if I wasn't in control.

At long last, it finally ended. Twilight was bloody and bruised, lying on the floor, breathing heavily from the thrashing she received. I felt overjoyed at the sight, but I didn't want to. Everything I felt and did was not me, but it was still my body that was responsible. As much as I hated what I had already done, what came next made me despise the fact that I was even born. I reared up and put my hooves on her chest. I felt her ribs crack under my weight.

"Where are your precious friends now?! How is friendship going to help you survive this?! Short answer; IT WON'T! Now give me a beautiful plea for mercy! GO AHEAD!" I yelled, pressing down a little harder, making her cringe.

She looked up at me with those big purple eyes of hers, and simple said, "I... still... love you."

She remembered that night... the first night she told me how she felt. Even after all I did, all the harm I brought her... she still loved me. I couldn't make sense of it. How could anyone not only be so forgiving but loving as well? Twilight was smart and not like some human woman who would keep crawling back to one who abused her, so how could she say this now, when she was on the verge of dying?

Her eyes closed and all I could hear was my own sadistic laughter. I couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't let it end like this! I was so sick and tired of what I had become!

'GET OUT OF MY HEAD!', I shouted in the confines of my mind.

"No! I am not done yet! Know your place you pathetic excuse for a human!"

Th-that came from my mouth! I was in control! I just had to keep pushing! 'This is my body! You are not welcome here! GET OUT!'

"QUIT FIGHTING! I am in power! You are a mere remnant of my weaker half! I am the only thing that will give us what matters most!", My alter self shouted, obviously losing himself from the pain surging through our mind. I was reverting. Just a little more and I might be able to regain control over my body.

"And what exactly do you think matters most?! BECAUSE TO ME IT'S LIFE!". Well speak of the devil, I regained control of my basic motor functions.

"You are ruining everything! Stop or else we'll go back to being that sad and miserable nobody!"

That is exactly what I'm counting on...

"For others to be happy, somebody needs to be sad, and for me its well worth the toll. You don't belong here, so now... I'm getting rid of you."

At that moment, a strange black haze emerged from my chest. It let out a small, high-pitched scream and vanished. I wasn't sure exactly what it was made of, but I knew that was what Discord put in me. I was free.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I ran to Twilight. She hadn't left my thoughts even for a moment. She looked horrible... and I was to blame. Everything was my fault. My damn obsession with my life goal was what got me here. I was the biggest fool in the world. I grabbed on to Twilight's shoulders and shook her a bit, hoping that she would open her eyes. I got no response.

"Twilight! Wake up! PLEASE!" I shouted, shaking her a little harder. "Come on! It can't end this way! You HAVE to be alright! Don't do this to me!"

I panicked and placed my hoof on her neck, checking for a pulse. I waited and waited... nothing. Her pulse was nowhere to be found. My greatest fear became real. Something warm dripped from my eye and landed on Twilight's cheek. I touched a hoof to my face and looked at it. A tear... I was crying. I couldn't remember the last time I really cried, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered to me anymore... Twilight was gone, and it was my fault.

It felt like my heart didn't just shatter... it exploded. I would have preferred the pain of dying over this. Unable to contain my emotions I picked up Twilight's body, wrapped my arms around her, and wept. It was like I thought if I squeezed her hard enough she would spring back to life and tell me she was only kidding... but as much as I wished it was true, it didn't happen.

I didn't even get to tell her why I hated hugs. It was because I felt that they were a sign that you cared for the one you were hugging and vice versa. I thought that such feelings were never going to be within my reach, but now that I saw I was wrong, I couldn't even do anything about it. Unable to do anything to revive her, I just stayed there... crying with her in my arms, replaying the last words she said in my head.

~_I still love you.._.~

* * *

Authors Note: So... things are coming to an end finally. There is probably two chapters left from my estimate. Don't worry about Twilight or Jason, I am not finished yet so its safe to say there is still a chance for a happy ending. Thanks for reading and keep being awesome.


	21. Hell hath no fury like a 'Demon' enraged

**Hell Hath No Fury Like a 'Demon' Enraged**

You know the saying, 'You don't know what you've got till it's gone'? I never believed it... then again I never believed that I would love anything either. Twilight was gone and I was to blame. Some of you out there are probably saying it wasn't my fault or it wasn't really me... but I knew that if it weren't for me, she would still be in her bed at home, smiling in her sleep as she always did.

I knew I had ended a life. The thought of killing alone always made me feel sick, but now I had done it. I spent about half an hour crying... that may not seem like a long time but to go without a single tear for so long and then do something like that was gruelling. I had no more tears that I could shed, so I just sat there with my world famous vacant expression. My chest ached like before... I now knew it was the feeling of a broken heart.

I had not only broken my number one rule of 'no killing'... I had also killed one that I cared for. It sounds strange hearing me say that, but I finally found someone I cared for. Even if that someone happened to be a pony, it didn't matter... I would have cared if she was a human, pony, fish, or even a plant. She was who she was and that's all that I needed her to be... well I guess having her alive was something I also needed, but I couldn't change that now. There was no way to bring the dead back, even with magic it was hopeless.

I know all this talk about her death and my feelings is pathetic... I know that my depressing attitude is getting me nowhere... and I know I should do something about it, but what? Take on a being that had untold power and could remake reality itself to suit his every whim? Attack the one who got me here and used me as if I was his puppet? Fight the god of chaos himself?! I mean come on! The odds are not in my favor... and as you know, that's just the way I like them.

Discord brought me to Equestria which took everything everything from me, but as soon as I found a reason to enjoy it here, the very moment I discovered a new reason to live... he took that from me as well. The more this thought circled around in my mind, the more I felt my inner demons lash out. His betrayal did more than make me angry... it threatened to unleash my dark side; the part of me that I had always locked away in the deepest part of my soul.

'Is this finally the time where I can let go and release it without fear of losing myself?' I thought.

I felt like I was obligated to contain my fierce nature because the world around me was too fragile to let it out, but now that I was going against Discord I could unleash what I held back for so many years. They say 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'... but they never met me. I believe I told you how I showed no mercy in games and how ruthless I was when angered. Now consider how pissed I was at that demented abomination.

I made it perfectly clear that I was going to destroy four of his senses if he double crossed me, yet he passed that up to do something even worse. You know what that means! I was going to make him pay... even if it meant taking another life, he was not going unpunished for his actions. The only thing I needed to stop him was a plan. Not just any plan either, it had to be flawless.

It is said that the perfect plan that is free of any weak points is an impossible feat because there is always something that you leave out... something you fail to think of. This wasn't an issue though since I still had command over my cutie mark. It was odd, but now that I knew what it stood for, it felt like I could keep using the effect it had without any trouble. I was coming up with things that would have taken me weeks of planning in mere seconds. The ideas I was coming up with were extremely complex and I doubt that I could explain any of them in less than a thousand words so I will just let you imagine what was going through my head to save you from reading more than you need to.

Since my brain was on hyper drive it only took a few minutes to come up with a plan I was pleased with. It didn't cover every base but I believed it was good enough to overcome Discord. There was one last thing I wanted to do before leaving though. I placed Twilight on her back and put her hooves over her chest as was customary to do with the deceased... then I made a puddle by converting the nearby dust into H2O. I raised the water and made a decent sized bubble around her. Next I quickly changed the water into graphite (a very pure form of carbon), applied massive amounts of heat to the outside layer (while keeping the inside perfectly cool) and compressed the super heated graphite into a rounded shield of diamond. I just wanted to make sure that she would stay safe from now on... especially since what I was about to do could very well bring the whole castle crashing down.

As I walked down the hall I tried to come to terms with who I was and what I would become for killing Twilight then defeating Discord. I didn't believe it would be nearly enough to redeem my actions, but it was better than nothing. Also as far as I could tell, I was the only one who was able to stop him now. Discord already told me that Celetia and Luna were basically powerless to do anything to him now, and because Twilight was... gone, the Elements of Harmony would no longer be able to work without her. So in the end I was this worlds only hope, although this was only because my previous actions made it so. If there actually was a hell I knew I was going there... I wasn't worthy of going anywhere like heaven, and to tell you the truth I didn't want to go. Heaven to me was a place of constant everlasting peace... that's too boring for my preference. Although I didn't wish to go there, I wished for Twilight to... she did everything in her power to save me and she deserved nothing less than eternal happiness, even if it was far away from me.

This was what I believed the best approach would be to bringing Equestria back to the peace it had before I arrived. I would be killing two birds with one stone. I finally arrived at the door to where Discord was most likely soaking in what he believed was his victory... too bad I had to crash his private party. I blew the doors off their hinges with a powerful kinetic blast. I thought I might as well make an entrance big enough to get his attention, and get his attention I did.

"What is the meaning of this?!" I heard him shout as I casually walked into the room through the left over dust cloud made by the force of the spell. When he finally was able to see me through the haze he relaxed and broke another small piece off of the candy throne he created for himself. "Ah, it's only you, my faithful student... wow that feels good to say! No wonder Celestia always called Twilight that! By the way, how did it go? Did you have fun?"

I looked him dead in the eyes with a hardened glare and replied, "Bite me..." Discord reeled back in shock. "Your '_student_' died over an hour ago. And you are the next to go..."

Discord sighed and shook his head. "I was wondering why you took down the spell... Oh well, at least you managed to get rid of the Element of Magic. Now Equestria has no way to stop me and I can rule free of anypony to stand in my way."

"Did you not hear me? I said I was going to stop you.", I quickly reminded him, my cold glare still locked on his being.

Discord smiled and began to laugh, "I heard you alright, but that doesn't mean I think you can do it! Or did you forget, I am _immortal_?! I can't die! Not even from you! There is also no way of imprisoning me without giving me a way to escape. No matter what you do, I will still be the ruler of this world again whether you like it or not!"

I saw this coming and had planned for his little immortality speech. He thought just because he couldn't die he couldn't be stopped, but I gave it a bit of thought (which in hindsight would be a lot of thought I suppose) and knew one thing that could lead to his downfall. Technically he would be alive but he would never be able to do anything ever again. I wasn't going to imprison him because as he said, he would just be able to escape. No, what I had in store was much more extreme.

I laughed darkly, thinking of how simple his weakness really was, how easy it was to incapacitate him for the remainder of all time. The one I feared fighting seemed so foolish now that I knew something he didn't... and I just couldn't stop laughing at his naivety and flagrant stupidity to his own undoing. Fed up with my laughing he shouted "And what is so funny?!"

I held back my laughter and spoke through the chuckles that seeped out, "Oh it's just so funny, you know?! All powerful godlike being thinks he can't be stopped but really the key to his defeat is common knowledge, and he just can't see it because he fails to look at the big picture! Hillarious, is it not?!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" He yelled furiously.

A wicked smile formed on my face and I responded, "Pain... I am talking about the simple sensation of pain! I know you must feel it because you react the same as anyone would towards physical harm. You may not die from it, but you still feel the sensation... and what is the key to using magic? RULE NUMBER ONE! FOCUSED THOUGHT! That was the first thing Twilight ever taught me about magic! You need to be in the right state of mind to perform it! Now if you were to experience ungodly amounts of pain in which a normal person would die, how would you be able to focus on anything but that pain? Short answer... you wouldn't."

Discord was finally seeing the faint idea of my master plan. Traces of fear began to show itself on his face. "S-so I wouldn't be able to use magic to escape, so what? I can always just break free without it."

"Ah, but what if you weren't constrained by anything that you could break? What if you were just locked in a 'space' where you felt pain but could do nothing to flee or cut yourself loose?" I asked leading him to the truth of my plan.

"SUCH A PLACE DOESN'T EXIST!"

The dark smile I had widened, "Here's a question for you; have you ever experienced what its like to be hurtling through space without any form of protection? I heard that it's the most horrible pain in existence... no air, massive radiation, unbearable cold, and a perfect vacuum that feels like someone is ripping you apart from the inside out."

"Phew, I was worried there for a second... there is no way you can send me far enough into space to keep me from returning instantly. I can still teleport even in the harsh conditions beyond our atmosphere."

I then took on a British accent to mimic the Doctor because what I was about to lay down totally called for me to sound like him, "Well, that _WOULD_ be true if you hadn't given me this cutie mark and gotten my magic to godlike proportion. Because of you I can feel the turn of the universe... did you know magic is only limited by what you can imagine? And guess what? I can imagine the thousands of galaxies spinning in the universe, the billions of solar systems turning in the galaxies, and this very planet turning in the midst of it all. You may not realize this but we are traveling at a phenomenal speed through the universe, the only reason why we can't feel it is because we move at the same rate on this galactic mudball. Now _IMAGINE_, what would happen if someone like, _oooh_, I dont know... lets say **you**, were to stop moving along with the rest of the of the known universe... what do you think would happen?"

Discords pupils first dilated, then shrunk to no more than little red dots. He now understood and realized that I would not be relying on my own strength as much as I would be momentarily borrowing the power of the very universe itself. I would only have to hold him in space for a fraction of a second, however even that would be pushing the limits of my capabilities. I knew I was massively powerful but locking a being into a point in space while letting everything else move without him was hard to imagine alone so performing it would take everything I had... and then some. Discord seemed to know that as well.

"But th-that would be suicide! Even for you! YOU WOULD NEVER COMMIT SUICIDE! IT'S ONE OF YOUR RULES!" He shouted desperate to change my mind.

I walked a few steps to the left until I was right in front of a window, then I began to explain once more, "You're right, I would never commit to something as petty as suicide... sacrificing my life in order to save the ones I care for on the other hand... I would do that in a heartbeat!"

"That is it! I won't have you get in the way now! _**I**_ am the mastermind here and this is _**my**_ world!" He yelled while spreading his arms, opening portals in space revealing what appeared to be guns from Earth. He was using his magic to bring things from our dimension here, and apparently bullets were not that hard to bring. I dashed around the room and focused on remaining calm and alert to summon up all the magic I had. It would take some time to gather enough focus and cast the spell so in the meantime I resorted to dodging bullets and hiding behind pillars when I could. The portals were able to move and Discord swapped what was shot by creating another portal on earth at a different spot. I suspected that most of the guns fired were shot by experts from a warzone or firing range, but that didn't really matter because Discord was the one who was aiming the portals and (lucky for me) he had terrible aim.

I wasn't too worried until he started making more portals and upgrading the guns to RPG's and assault rifles. His aim didn't matter if what was shot could explode so I changed tactics in order to hold off just a little longer, I could feel that my magic was almost at it's peak and so could Discord. I ran out of pillars to hide behind and all portals were colliding on my position.

"GOODBYE YOU UNGRATEFUL HUMAN!"

All weapons simultaneously fired and created a large plume of dust and smoke.

"_YES_!" Discord hissed in happiness.

"Sorry to ruin your celebration twice in one day but... oh who am I kidding? I'm never sorry for upsetting assholes like you!" I swore, which was a first for me since I always thought there was no point in spewing profanity.

The smog settled and a black wall separated me from Discords sight. I changed the laws of physics in that plane of space to cause maximum velocity to be equal to zero, meaning that nothing could move faster than a standstill through that wall. That was the reason why it was black, because even light couldn't penetrate it.

Enraged, Discord dismissed all of his portals and began to float towards me. I could see a fire in his eyes. I could tell by the look on his face that he was finally going to pull out all the stops and do his best to kill me right there.

"Do you think you can really hide behind _that_!? I have been bending the rules to reality since before your twentieth great grandfather was born! I can rip through this without even trying!" And he proved himself capable of doing so by swiping at it with his glowing eagle talon and shattering it into millions of fading fragments. I fell back from the force of it. "THIS IS WHERE YOU FALL! YOU HAVE BEEN A THORN IN MY SIDE LONG ENOUGH! NOW **DIE**!"

He shot his clawed appendage forward like a spear and stuck his arm straight through my head... but his victory was still not met. He pulled his hand back and looked at it, then at me. My image let off a quick shimmer and wavered. I let go of the illusion I had made at the beginning of the fight to reveal that the 'me' he just defeated was nothing more than a hologram that I had made like I did with Gilda, but much more advanced. I made it seem like it was really me by projecting my voice to make the sound come from its mouth. I also used small telekinetic bursts of air where it placed its hoofs to kick up trace amounts of dust and then I created the sound of hooves hitting the stone floor wherever it moved to keep up the illusion that I was really running around and dodging his attacks. I even put up a shield to reinforce the charade. However, I was never in any danger and I was free to build up my magic the whole time.

"What...?" Discord said looking at me, his voice cracking from sheer confusion. I could feel and see green energy swirling around me. My hair was lifting up into the air and my jacket was flapping in a non existent breeze by my magical aura alone.

Discord shook his head stared at me yet again in astonishment, "Wait, WHAT!?"

"Discord..." my voice echoed and wavered from the power consuming me, making me sound like an actual god. "You have committed unspeakable crimes and set in motion the plan for murder. Your punishment will be swift and just!"

Hearing this, Discord fell to his knees and began to plead for mercy, "I'm sorry! Won't do it again I promise!"

Begging for mercy when he refused to show any. That was strike one...

"It is too late for promises. You made me a god and now I will be the one to pass judgement on your soul..." I said as the building began to shake from the might of my spell while I started picturing the universe in its entirety, slowly focusing my attention on the very spot we were standing. It was odd but I could see all there was in a sense now that I was starting the spell. The entire cosmos was being contorted to my will.

Discord then tried to convince me that I was wrong and the punishment was too severe. "I know you are mad... and I understand! But will trapping me in space forever be right?! I mean it was just one life! It wasn't worth endless agony, right?!"

I knew that the taking of even one innocent life was inexcusable therefore his argument was invalid. That was strike two...

"You can not talk your way out of your sins. You made me kill the only one I ever truly loved and you WILL pay for the tragedies you caused." I was finally done with the spell and it was ready to send us both to where we belonged. I surrounded him with my magic and was getting ready to cut his tie to the universe, but he interrupted me with a mention of a deal when he began to float up.

"Wait, wait wait! I can make everything better! I can give you back what you want the most!" He shouted desperately, looking at the bright green aura with dread.

I softened my expression a bit and let him speak, as I was curious as to if he was really capable of doing what he said on his own. He let go of his held breath and wiped his forehead free of sweat.

"That's right, I can give you the one thing that matters most to you..."

I raised an eyebrow in interest. "Go on..." I said, lowering him a little closer to the floor.

He smiled contently and said, "I can send you back to Earth!"

And that was strike three.

My expression hardened into a death stare and I mentally screamed, 'Stop!'. Discord bashed against the ceiling and made a few cracks from the impact. The whole castle trembled from the outpouring of magic.

I didn't perform it correctly and tried again, 'STOP!'. He slammed against the same spot and let out a moan, showing that he indeed felt pain. The cracks were bigger that time and the castle shook even more than before... I was getting really close. I could attempt it one more time before my mind gave out from the strain.

I summoned every ounce of energy I had left in my now levitating pain wracked body and let out a loud scream that I swore could have tore through the fabric of space and time itself. "**_STOOOOP!_**"

Discord seemed to blink out of existence along with a good chunk of the ceiling. It wasn't until a few moments later that I realized I won... I defeated a god of chaos by myself. Never did I imagine I could actually become so formidable... but I also never imagined growing a horn, being sent to a land of cartoon ponies, me using magic, meeting two princesses, and basically all the other stuff that I was involved with in the past two months.

Suddenly I was hit with the backlash of my magical outburst and fell to the floor, landing on my back.

This time was different from the others though. I wasn't instantly knocked out, instead I was slowly being drained of all my energy... down to the last drop that sustained my life. I knew this was going to happen and I not only accepted it, but also craved it. My view on the matter was that I was no better than Discord. Whether I wanted to or not, I was responsible for the death of another and my sacrifice was the only means of redemption I saw available. At least this way I wouldn't be able to cause anymore trouble.

The morning had come and the light of the new day was shining down on me from the hole discord made. I couldn't move and felt totally out of it. I guessed that the expression on my face made me look like I was half dead already. I could feel the warmth of my blood seeping out my nose. That proved it... I was as good as gone.

As my breathing got weaker I slowly reflected back on my life. My greatest achievements, my favorite memories, my learning experiences... stuff like that. I was sizing up my life as a whole, trying to see how much meaning it really had. Sadly as I looked at all I had done, I stumbled across the fact that I had done next to nothing before meeting Twilight. My entire life was filled with me waiting for a reason I did not know. I always felt like I was waiting for something to happen back on Earth, and now that something did, I threw it away for a chance to go back to my pointless existence. What was wrong with me? I had it all and I couldn't see it was right in front of me the whole time I was here. I may have been the dumbest genius to ever live...

My sight began to blur and fade. I was down to my final few moments of life. I was no longer plagued by the storm of thoughts that usually bombarded my mind and my decreasing heart rate was all I could hear anymore. Before I blacked out completely, I saw a figure come into view. It was shrouded in a bright light and had wings.

The last thing I remember was the simple thought, 'An Angel is coming to take me to heaven? Well it's too late to save me, I'm already falling into the dark. I can't earn wings after what I did...'

* * *

~_please listen to 'Feathery Wings' by Voltaire to get the full effect_~

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Authors Note:

Well there you have it, the epic climax to the story. I hope you enjoyed it (because A LOT of work went into it). With only one chapter left I am feeling pretty good. I believe that when it is finished everyone will be fairly pleased at the end, so all of you who are freaking out... don't. I have been getting messages about Twilights death and let me just say I'm disappointed. Seriously have a little faith! (says the guy who believes faith is a bunch of crap...)

Okay, until next time, keep being awesome!


	22. My Kingdom Come

**My Kingdom Come...**

I found myself floating in a black void with no warmth or cold. It felt like I was just kind of floating in some water. There was a sensation of flowing movement but it was slight and seemed to compensate for each push and pull to put me right back in the same spot. It was quite odd but then again when is being dead not a little bit strange? I had no idea what was going to happen next or even if something else was going to happen. For all I knew this could just be where I was stuck from now on, although that would be a very anticlimactic afterlife to say the least. I believed that I did the right thing but I was still heartbroken over losing Twilight. Why did she try to rescue me? Why did she have to try to be the hero? I already missed her and wanted to hear her voice one last time, even if it meant listening to her lecture me on treating Spike better, I just didn't care anymore.

In hindsight, what happened was a complete tragedy. Twilight was dead, Discord was banished to the far reaches of space never to return... and me? I was drifting through purgatory or something after sacrificing my life, and for what? To save Celestia's rear end from another disaster? I couldn't be too mad at her though, she did what she could to try and keep her kingdom safe and happy (and honestly she did a much better job than our worlds leaders). I just wish I could have gone back in time and stopped myself from trusting that draconequus bastard. I was a fool for believing him... it was like I was too stupid to know I was selling my soul to the devil.

Why was it that I couldn't just be happy with where I was? Why did I have to be angry at those who only wanted to be my friends? Why didn't I just count myself lucky to be with them? Celestia was right... I was lonely but I was too stubborn to accept it. She was actually right about many things now that I thought about it. She was right about Twilight caring about me, she was right about my connection to my emotions still being intact and dying to get out... and she was right about how I refused to give into them. They were never lost, I was just holding them back with a huge wall of my personal bullcrap. It seemed that Celestia actually knew more about me than I knew about myself, and I only saw her as a careless ruler who thought the lives of those around her were unimportant due to her position. I was such a jerk to everyone...

At that moment I did something I had never really done before... I prayed. I didn't know who I was praying to or why I resorted to it. I just felt like I had done so much wrong and I wanted a second chance to make things right that I was ready to do anything. I wanted to apologize for everything I had done. I wanted to let Pinkie know I was her friend even if I acted like I couldn't stand to be around her. I wanted to console Fluttershy since I banished Discord, I wanted to thank Rarity for all her help and kindness because I know I didn't show her nearly enough. I wanted to tell Rainbow Dash to keep an eye on Gilda now that I was gone. I wanted to give Applejack a few more pointers to help her on the farm since she had a family to take care of. Heck, I even wanted to say sorry for calling Spike 'mailbox'. Most of all though... I wanted to apologize to Princess Celestia for not trusting her when I should have.

Suddenly I felt an intense pain go from my chest and quickly surge through the rest of my body. I felt myself rise a little bit and then the pain struck again. I didn't know what it was but it was enough to blur my thoughts and make it hard to focus. The next thing I know, it feels like I'm holding my breath, I gasp for air and see a bright light with the angel from before. As my vision begins to come into focus, I squint, noticing that the angel looks very familiar.

Then it hits me, "Celestia...?", I say noticing that my voice sounds raspy and drained of energy.

My vision comes completely into focus and I can see her smiling warmly at me, "Welcome back to the land of the living. You had us scared there for a while..." I look around and see that I'm back in the Canterlot castle recovery room, just like before when I woke up from my fight with Discord's summoned dragon. "You know you shouldn't be so reckless, but I suppose that's who you are deep down and I can't change that."

I look down and thought back to why I was so reckless in the first place, "You shouldn't have saved me... I don't deserve to live anymore. Not after what I did."

Celestia stomped her foot and quickly stood, looking down at me as she said, "_Silence_! You did far more than what I believed was possible for anypony in your position! You not only broke yourself free from Discords hold over you, you also took it upon yourself to right your wrongs and stop him, saving all of Equestria in the process!". Celestia took a deep breath and calmed herself before continuing, "Do you recall when you asked me if I believed in fate? Well I thought long and hard about it and I have come to an answer... I do believe in fate. I also believe that you were brought here for a reason greater than even Discord could have realized. I do not yet know of your true purpose in this world but I know your journey does not end here... there are too many that still care for you."

"Who could possibly care about me after this?" I asked, a tone of sadness and regret clear in my words..

"Well believe it or not, everypony you have come in contact with. I wasn't even the one to revive you... that honor belongs to Rainbow Dash. She will try to avoid the truth and say she was merely trying to desecrate your body, but she shocked you with a thunder cloud twice and that is what kept you alive. All five of the other elements were there at your side and they all had tears in their eyes. I felt that they were needed but by the time I informed them on what happened and brought to the citadel of chaos... the battle was already over."

"Yes... but at what cost? Was the life I took _really_ justified? Am I _really_ worthy to live after that?" I asked looking at her, hoping that she could somehow help me see some light (since she was the one who rose the sun and all).

She looked at me with deep confusion. "I thought you were aware that Discord was still alive."

Was she serious? Twilight was dead and she was pulling the whole clueless routine?! She decided to do this _now_?! "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT **BASTARD**!" I snapped, furious at her disrespect of her dead student.

Her eyes widened slightly in what appeared to be more confusion with a hint of fear. "Then who are you speaking of?!"

"You know damn well who! I'm talking about-"

I was interrupted at that moment by an opening door. The one who walked through it blew my mind. At first I thought I was hallucinating. It just didn't seem possible.

"I'm back with the tea, I hope you like Earl Gre-" She looked at me and I looked back at her. The platter holding the tea fell, but was quickly caught by Celestia's magic. we just sat there for a moment, staring at each other as if we would vanish if we were to look away for even a second.

"Twilight?!" I shouted in total shock.

"You're _awake_?!", she shouted back.

"You're _**ALIVE**_!?"

I looked at Celestia and gestured towards Twilight as if to ask 'Are you seeing this?'. She nodded and asked a question of her own, "What made you think she was dead?"

"What do you mean 'what made me think she was dead'?! I checked her pulse with my own..." I looked at my hoof and immediately felt like an idiot for not realizing it before. I wouldn't be able to feel anyones pulse through my hoof since it wasn't even close to being as sensitive a human hand (at least not where I used them).

Celestia chuckled lightly, "Well, that's... an _interesting_ way of checking for life. I assumed that you knew that she was alive because of that diamond shield you constructed. If you hadn't created it she would have been dead from the debris."

"Wait, so he not only defeated Discord, but also saved me? Wow, and I thought I was the overachiever in this relationship!" Twilight said giggling and smiling. I was glad to hear her laugh again, but I didn't like what she said... relationship. I wasn't afraid of being with her, I just didn't feel that I was right for her. Not yet at least. I was going to need to speak with them to clear a few things up.

"Twilight? Celestia? We need to talk about a few things..." I said quietly, exuding a feeling of sombreness. They listened intently and I continued, "First of all, I can't be with you right now Twilight, and before you say anything, no... this isn't because of you. I hurt you... badly, and I can't yet forgive myself. One day I might, but not now. I am dangerous, that much is certain, so for the time being I wish to distance myself from you until I am certain that I no longer will cause harm."

Twilight gasped and asked with fright in her voice, "Does this mean you're going back to Earth?!"

A small sly smile grew on my face, "I was thinking that _would_ be best...". Tears began to well up in Twilights eyes. I was just waiting for her to get to the point where she was at the verge of crying so I could hit her with some good news. "But if I did that then who would protect Equestria? You?! Please, you guys would be helpless without me... so I suppose I will just have to stay." I said shrugging and folding my arms as if I was upset about it.

Twilight responded to the news exactly how I thought she would. She leapt onto me and hugged me with her eyes still wet from tears that were now shed out of happiness. The strange thing was that it felt different from every other hug I received. Instead of being awkward and uncomfortable, it was warm and calming. I know this is going to sound weird coming from me, but it made me feel... _good_. It was like an 'everything will be alright' kind of feeling, which was something I hadn't felt since I was like eight years old.

"I see that you have begun to accept love into your heart. It feels wonderful, doesn't it?" Celestia said with a kind smile.

I nodded and replied, "Yeah it feels great, however I can't accept it yet. I always thought I knew more than enough and there was nothing left that I needed from this place, but I now see how wrong I was. There is much more that I need to learn... and that's why I have come up with a solution to both our problems."

Celestia tilted her head in intrigue. "Oh, is that so?"

"You need a guardian for Equestria since I banished Discord, and I need a way to redeem myself and learn more from this world, right? Well I believe I am more than capable of filling the position" I said raising an eyebrow to show I was being cocky. "I do come with a few guidelines though. First off, I want to stay in Ponyville so that I may remain close to Twilight and the others as much as possible. I wish to be their primary protector, which brings me to my second rule. I don't want them to participate in any more dangerous missions if it can be helped. I technically will replace them though I do not wish to be as well known. Think of me as your undercover, secret service, agent of justice... um, thing. Third, I want you to treat me as you would with one of your guards, so no special treatment. And lastly, I want you to change my name back to Jason... I'm just not feeling the whole 'Dusk' vibe anymore if you know what I mean."

I held out my hoof and waited for her to accept my terms. "You drive a hard bargain, but also a reasonable one. We have a deal."

As we shook hooves Twilight yelled out, "PRINCESS! You can't be seriously agreeing to this! He doesn't deserve it! He, h-he..."

I placed my hoof on her lips before she started crying again. "Listen, I know you may think this is crazy but I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did until I do this. What matters to me has never been my own safety, it has been the safety of those who I am close to. Thats why I have to do this... I have to keep everyone safe in order to be happy, and here I can actually do it. I can make a difference.

"When I thought you were dead I felt more pain than I ever thought was possible. It wasn't physical or even mental pain. It was the kind of pain that I didn't believe I would ever experience... emotional pain. You gave me my heart back, so I want to return the favor by making sure you never leave me again."

Twilight went back to squeezing me, but soon stopped and looked at me. "So when are you leaving?"

"I guess it depends on if I'm needed. Is there anything going on?" I asked turning to Celestia.

Celestia cringed a bit, "Well I was going to keep this a secret for a while that way you would have some time to recover and, um... _bond_, but there is something strange happening in Trottingham right now."

I shook my head slightly, "I told you to treat me as you would a guard. It hasn't even been five minutes and you are already trying to break the rules? Tsk-tsk, bad Celestia, you know better than that!"

We all shared a laugh and began wrapping things up. I noticed that my cutie mark was actually gone. Celestia told me it was because it was only made by Discord and now that he was out of the picture so was the mark. I wasn't complaining though, I didn't want that sort of power. To have the power of the very universe under your command was too much for one person alone, and it would have been boring if there wasn't some risk involved with my missions. Celestia gave me back two items that were found among the rubble of the castle. My MP3 player was in good condition but my glasses were mangled and bent. Twilight began to apologize for stepping on them but stopped when I poured a little hot tea on them. I converted the metal in the frames into Nitinol, also known as memory metal. When it reaches a certain heat the metal goes back to its original shape. I changed them as a precaution and it seemed to work to my advantage. When it was time for me to go, Twilight gave me one last hug and told me to never scare her like I did again... to which I replied, 'I'll try but I'm not making any promises'.

* * *

So that's my story. I may not be the hero that everyone wants, but I am not the villain either. I am who I am, nothing more, nothing less. The only two out of the mane six who didn't currently hate my guts were Fluttershy and Twilight. Rainbow Dash took it very personally, not surprising from the element of loyalty. Pinkie Pie really threw me for a loop with how she could hold a grudge, and the craziest thing was something she whispered in my ear one day... 'If you ever hurt any of my friends again you are going to wake up in my basement', scary as hell, right? Rarity was mad but not as much as the others when she saw the condition of my jacket and agreed to fix it, although she still wasn't ready to forgive me. Applejack was the worst of all from my point of view. She refused to say a single word to me. In my eyes that was worse than Rainbow Dash's little hit and run schedule that she made for me. Every day at certain times she would purposely ram into me and send me tumbling in the dirt. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders were forced to stay away from me as much as possible.

Thankfully Gilda, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch we're still on my side. I was even able to stay in Gilda's spare bedroom. She said that she had tried to find somepony that would rent out the room but there were never any takers once they found out that she was, well, a griffin who was previously known to have anger issues. She was thrilled to have me stay with her until she found out how much I was going to be gone. Celestia kept me busy by sending me voice messages through Vlad. It took me awhile to get used to her voice coming out of his mouth.

With each mission came its own dangers and problems. I got hurt more than I cared for but it couldn't be helped, and I was able to alter my biological healing process so that I could basically heal wounds like Wolverine so that was kinda cool. Everywhere I went, I was a shadow. Nobody knew me and I never let anyone get too close. I wasn't falling back into my own ways, it was just that I didn't feel like revealing who was really behind saving town after town... not that anyone ever knew that they were in danger in the first place. Yeah, I did a pretty good job keeping the peace.

After I was done with my appointed task and obtained a souvenir (like a magic pendant from a fallen foe or a vial of altered poison joke extract), I would spend a day just hanging around the place I had defended. I would also give away what I could spare from Celestia's payment. I told her I didn't want any money because it contradicted the reward of helping others for the sake of helping them, but she gave me about twenty bits per job anyways saying, 'It was never stated in the rules I layed out'. I only kept about five bits for myself and 'donated' the rest to children on the streets or a pony who left their home without enough to pay for something. I made sure they were unaware of where the bits came from by using my magic to slip them in their saddlebags or whatever when they weren't looking, then I would stand back and wait for them to discover them. Seeing them smile and look around as if they would see a guardian angel was probably the best part of the job.

So in conclusion, my name is Jason, I'm 22 years old, I have been told I have a knack for writing as well as art, my greatest passions are games and music, I'm now a pony who is currently living in Equestria, and I will continue to wander this world until I can control my inner demons.

* * *

**Final notes:** Okay first things first, I would like to inform everyone that has read that this story was based off of the real me. Jason was not a character I made up, he IS me! I made this story as an answer to the hypothetical question '_what if I went to Equestria for real?_'. This was my realistic view on the subject and I didn't think it would catch on so I would like to say to everyone who has been reading that I'm glad you enjoyed it, but there is some bad news. I have no intention on making a sequel or another fanfiction. I will probably make an alternate ending later and if your really lucky I might write a bonus chapter, but that's it. I am already in the process of making another story but it is not a fanfiction. It is going to be titled 'Living With Sin' and it will kind of be like a science fiction story about a genetically engineered demon child. If you are angry for any reason send me a PM and I will be glad to speak with you about it. Also I am willing to give my Skype address to anyone who has read this, just PM me. I guess thats it. Keep being awesome.

JasontheDemon


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